Tim & Eric's Bedtime Stories "The Duke"

learned:

* Lost is back!...

* i really do love Jorge. so natural and a good human being in this land of internet filth and moral nihilism. but i have to wonder if he'd be the same Jorge if he lost weight. he wouldn't get the same kind of roles, would that change him as a person?

* Ray is Wise to work with these two jokers.

* Rhea Perlman is one of those women who's not supposed to be hot but still somehow is.

* Pamungo: racist

* oh, and the concept here is brilliant. lottery scratchers as casino games, that is something i'd come up with only on my very very very best day.

* 2 tickets, not fuck you.

* Rhea: did you brush your teeth today?
Jorge: what are you, my mother?

* Ray: Maureen is pretty, but Rhea is more exotic. one Potter's Gold for the lady.
Rhea: what's the difference?
Ray: the Illuminati symbol. see this? it's my lucky coin i wear around my neck.
Rhea: that's really dumb, you could choke on that.

* Jorge: i would not be shoveling lo mein in my mouth right now if i were skinnier.

* Tim & Eric: we are contracted to be in this episode here.
Tim: i'm working on my music here.

* Ray: you got an anime shirt on?
Jorge: don't make assumptions, i have a beard.

* Brian: i'm between jobs......................................okay, fine, Lost really really really needs to come back! not just for me, for tv! we need to kill the reality shows like we did the first time! the hobbit guy can get work, he's handsome! Heaven isn't the end! Heaven is just the beginning!

* the Duke: have some of daddy's famous spiked eggs. you said he'd eat the eggs, right?
Rhea: look at him, he'll eat anything.
Brian: you got some nice white chest hairs.

* the Duke: scratch it like a bug bite!
Brian: i don't think i've ever gotten a bug bite. if i did i never felt it.

* Brian: *slams photos* what's the meaning of this?
the Duke: you were cosplaying with your mom as your bride. isn't that what cosplayers do?

* the Duke: i'll admit, this comes as a shock...................i had no idea your wife would be such a good lay.
Brian: GET OUT
the Duke: wait. you'll get all the treats and toys you want. you'll never work another day in your life.
Brian: how's that?
the Duke: you'll turn into one of those gamer zombies that lives in the basement, right?

* the Duke: nice easy strokes...like shaving your legs...see behind the silver...you're a basement Michelangelo!

* the Duke: can we get a dust-off here!.....................no take that cocaine back, not now.

* Rhea: i think it's better this way, don't you?
Brian: it's just the right amount of weird.

* the Duke: we're all one big happy family! in a kind of malaise-y unspoken hazy arrangement.
Brian: which present is it?
the Duke: the grunge one.

* this episode was homey