learned:
* i wrote a whole treatise once on the concept of funny and how different people define it and what it means if someone laughs at an inappropriate remark and so forth, the future of humanity and stuff...on my blog.
* remember when the guy playing the shock comic played the nice guy on that sitcom a long long time ago?
* chucklesluts? what? that's a thing? but why? that's not cool. that's not glamorous. now if we're talking about being a Led Zeppelin groupie, that i can understand...
* one man's art is another man's trash which is another man's treasure which is another man's trash.
* "don't do anything dangerous to nab the perp, oh, but you did do something dangerous, so okay, we'll use what you've got, we didn't want you to do it but secretly we were kinda hoping you would 'cause otherwise we had no case, so now we have the evidence, wouldn't have had it if you didn't risk your life, which we didn't want, but thanks for doing it anyway against our express wishes."
* if only Cassidy's favorite comic was Jerry Seinfeld, he and Liv would still be together...Seinfeld, might as well keep it in the NBC family.
NOTES FROM MY NETHER / only the finest programs of television / your host this evening is early and wears no robe, 83optics on youtube but you know him better as THE LATE PHOENIX / come and mull over the monastery mulled wine, see what's on / N O T E S
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Degrassi "No Surprises" Episode Discussion
learned:
* Miles: "whoa, I asked Maya to skinny-dip and she did it. I wonder if this is because Maya's my girlfriend or just that it's Maya."
* Maya should have just remained naked underwater in the pool and kept silent, the dad wouldn't have noticed. he's too distracted with attaining power.
* that ketchup-packet trick was neat. and for Alli's next trick, she *poof* makes Dallas's son appear! Dallas, be honest, for awhile there you'd forgotten you had a son, huh?
* this is why I hate politics...
* Clare: "I did not have moonlight urges! remember, I'm a werewolf, I shun the moon, it was a daytime urge. wait, I'm not a werewolf, I'm thinking of the Twilight werewolf who always has his shirt off, I wish Drew would always have his shirt off..."
* in order to survive the tandem bungee jump, you must get so tight up-close together with your partner that you create a baby, known affectionately as a bungee baby.
* Drew: Clare, I'm soaking wet, I need to change my shirt.
Clare: fine, whatever, but you need to leave, I'm not gonna fuck you.
Drew: Clare, I don't have another shirt.
Clare: you can't borrow mine, I won't betray Eli even though he betrayed me.
Drew: Clare, my pants are soaking wet...
* oh, so it seems Dallas will kill Leo. I still say having Alli's father do it would have been spicier. or Mr. Simpson:
before Mr. Simpson delivers the death blow to Leo, he monologues to him: "Alli is the best science student Degrassi has ever had. I know I said I don't get involved in the dalliances of my students, but this is the one exception. die, bitch!"
and scene.
* Miles: "whoa, I asked Maya to skinny-dip and she did it. I wonder if this is because Maya's my girlfriend or just that it's Maya."
* Maya should have just remained naked underwater in the pool and kept silent, the dad wouldn't have noticed. he's too distracted with attaining power.
* that ketchup-packet trick was neat. and for Alli's next trick, she *poof* makes Dallas's son appear! Dallas, be honest, for awhile there you'd forgotten you had a son, huh?
* this is why I hate politics...
* Clare: "I did not have moonlight urges! remember, I'm a werewolf, I shun the moon, it was a daytime urge. wait, I'm not a werewolf, I'm thinking of the Twilight werewolf who always has his shirt off, I wish Drew would always have his shirt off..."
* in order to survive the tandem bungee jump, you must get so tight up-close together with your partner that you create a baby, known affectionately as a bungee baby.
* Drew: Clare, I'm soaking wet, I need to change my shirt.
Clare: fine, whatever, but you need to leave, I'm not gonna fuck you.
Drew: Clare, I don't have another shirt.
Clare: you can't borrow mine, I won't betray Eli even though he betrayed me.
Drew: Clare, my pants are soaking wet...
* oh, so it seems Dallas will kill Leo. I still say having Alli's father do it would have been spicier. or Mr. Simpson:
before Mr. Simpson delivers the death blow to Leo, he monologues to him: "Alli is the best science student Degrassi has ever had. I know I said I don't get involved in the dalliances of my students, but this is the one exception. die, bitch!"
and scene.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Degrassi "Power to the People" Episode Discussion
learned:
* new dress code: no dress code. if everyone's naked, no one can laugh. call it the Garden of Eden dress code. what do you think, Mr. Simpson?
* five-year window, phew, that was close...otherwise it would have become a Skins episode.
* attract the boys with the bras, intimidate the girls with the g-strings, and enjoy the best four years of your lives. queen bees do not survive outside their high school habitat.
* WE'RE GOING TO REGIONALS!!!
* nut up or shut up: a guide to talking to girls...and zombies.
* new dress code: no dress code. if everyone's naked, no one can laugh. call it the Garden of Eden dress code. what do you think, Mr. Simpson?
* five-year window, phew, that was close...otherwise it would have become a Skins episode.
* attract the boys with the bras, intimidate the girls with the g-strings, and enjoy the best four years of your lives. queen bees do not survive outside their high school habitat.
* WE'RE GOING TO REGIONALS!!!
* nut up or shut up: a guide to talking to girls...and zombies.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Degrassi "Dig Me Out" Episode Discussion
learned:
* HRC will be our nation's first female President. that's all that really matters in the end.
* can we talk about Maya's bikini?
* pokies are not a distraction. prison is a distraction.
* Volcano Girl wouldn't happen to be Paint Girl's sister or something? cousin?
* "what?! but your facebook status clearly says: POOLHOUSE VIRGIN."
* HRC will be our nation's first female President. that's all that really matters in the end.
* can we talk about Maya's bikini?
* pokies are not a distraction. prison is a distraction.
* Volcano Girl wouldn't happen to be Paint Girl's sister or something? cousin?
* "what?! but your facebook status clearly says: POOLHOUSE VIRGIN."
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Law & Order SVU "Wednesday's Child" Episode Discussion
learned:
* the end of the intro, that shot with all of the cast there, seems so empty now.
* Maury: Lewis is NOT the father...
...though that would be an interesting storyline given Liv's past.
* the side characters, all of the witnesses on the street in this episode, were really trying extra hard to be colorful New Yorkers. they all drank the same quirky juice the night before.
* I HOPE THAT GUY GETS CHICKEN-CHOW-MEIN NOODLES STUCK IN HIS BEARD.
* Liv's biological clock is ticking...loudly.
* the end of the intro, that shot with all of the cast there, seems so empty now.
* Maury: Lewis is NOT the father...
...though that would be an interesting storyline given Liv's past.
* the side characters, all of the witnesses on the street in this episode, were really trying extra hard to be colorful New Yorkers. they all drank the same quirky juice the night before.
* I HOPE THAT GUY GETS CHICKEN-CHOW-MEIN NOODLES STUCK IN HIS BEARD.
* Liv's biological clock is ticking...loudly.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Degrassi "Better Man" Episode Discussion
learned:
* one of Pearl Jam's Better songs
* smackball? oh, smackball. I play a different version with my girlfriend at night.
* speaking of fitting in, that rad rubber-room chick with the punk hair and Guns N Roses shirt would have fit in quite nicely as a character in the original '80s Degrassi. punk is timeless like that.
* hey, the detective wasn't THAT ugly! we can't all be Drake.
* I don't blame Drew at all: she's hot, she's an actress, she's connected, and most importantly, she's not leaving for college for a few more years. she will not turkey-dump him in the foreseeable future.
* they should have combined storylines. have the gun be real, have Maya shoot it clumsily at the fishtank, the bullet ricochets off, goes through the front glass, and pierces the chest of Leo, who is frantically pacing back and forth outside the school...
* one of Pearl Jam's Better songs
* smackball? oh, smackball. I play a different version with my girlfriend at night.
* speaking of fitting in, that rad rubber-room chick with the punk hair and Guns N Roses shirt would have fit in quite nicely as a character in the original '80s Degrassi. punk is timeless like that.
* hey, the detective wasn't THAT ugly! we can't all be Drake.
* I don't blame Drew at all: she's hot, she's an actress, she's connected, and most importantly, she's not leaving for college for a few more years. she will not turkey-dump him in the foreseeable future.
* they should have combined storylines. have the gun be real, have Maya shoot it clumsily at the fishtank, the bullet ricochets off, goes through the front glass, and pierces the chest of Leo, who is frantically pacing back and forth outside the school...
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Saturday Night Live Melissa McCarthy / Imagine Dragons Episode Discussion
learned:
* cold open: this proves that anything can be turned into a musical, because everything is ultimately about love.
* CVS: Copulation-Virgin Syndrome (or System)
* Imagine Dragons: who said drum circles were weak and hippieish and wimpy?!
* Weekend Update: y'know, when i die and hopefully go to the Pearly Gates, my only wish is for Stefon to greet me at the entrance...
* oh, so there's something else going on today? i thought the toboggan thing was it.
* cold open: this proves that anything can be turned into a musical, because everything is ultimately about love.
* CVS: Copulation-Virgin Syndrome (or System)
* Imagine Dragons: who said drum circles were weak and hippieish and wimpy?!
* Weekend Update: y'know, when i die and hopefully go to the Pearly Gates, my only wish is for Stefon to greet me at the entrance...
* oh, so there's something else going on today? i thought the toboggan thing was it.
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