learned:
* gotta admit, love the clever title.
* that ain't caffeine in there...
* y'know, with Washington and Colorado and probably more states to come, the whole "i smelled weed in there" isn't gonna mean as much anymore.
* hey banger, heads up: with the Youtube Capture app, the screen fills up nice and wide, no more of that narrow center long rectangle screen in between black.
* i'll never see dulce de leche as pudding ever again...
*---"have you ever had a guy literally die for you?"
---"can't say that i have...figuratively, sure...literally, no...the old meanings of figuratively and literally...at least your art is getting better, darker always means better..."
NOTES FROM MY NETHER / only the finest programs of television / your host this evening is early and wears no robe, 83optics on youtube but you know him better as THE LATE PHOENIX / come and mull over the monastery mulled wine, see what's on / N O T E S
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Degrassi "The World I Know" Episode Discussion
learned:
* State of the Union or this?...................can I choose neither?
* as Zig gets more badass, his acting improves.
* making coffee is a unique skill, just ask any Starbucks barista.
* Drew is hot but dumb as rocks. Clare has a lot going on upstairs.........if you know what I mean...
* the only good thing that might come out of this Alli/Leo storyline is how it all ends: Alli's dad murders Leo in cold blood on the street in broad daylight.
* if this show continues on any longer, I'm gonna need a rubber room.
* State of the Union or this?...................can I choose neither?
* as Zig gets more badass, his acting improves.
* making coffee is a unique skill, just ask any Starbucks barista.
* Drew is hot but dumb as rocks. Clare has a lot going on upstairs.........if you know what I mean...
* the only good thing that might come out of this Alli/Leo storyline is how it all ends: Alli's dad murders Leo in cold blood on the street in broad daylight.
* if this show continues on any longer, I'm gonna need a rubber room.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Saturday Night Live Jonah Hill / Bastille Episode Discussion
learned:
* y'know what, just let Leo host the thing the rest of the night, might as well, he's there, y'know.
* Bastille: you saw it, too, Harry Potter was in the chorus. also: pretty pretty violins.
* dude screaming in the bathroom at the boss dinner: take it from a depressive, mental illness is hilarious.
* Me: other titles considered were Narcissism and When Masturbation Goes Wrong.
* Inside SoCal: the dude on the left, okay, that was crazily accurate, he hit all the mannerisms and the marks and the pauses and the cadences of a certified SoCal guy, take it from me, born and raised in L.A. this skit was the indie version of the Californians skit, i loved it.
* y'know what, just let Leo host the thing the rest of the night, might as well, he's there, y'know.
* Bastille: you saw it, too, Harry Potter was in the chorus. also: pretty pretty violins.
* dude screaming in the bathroom at the boss dinner: take it from a depressive, mental illness is hilarious.
* Me: other titles considered were Narcissism and When Masturbation Goes Wrong.
* Inside SoCal: the dude on the left, okay, that was crazily accurate, he hit all the mannerisms and the marks and the pauses and the cadences of a certified SoCal guy, take it from me, born and raised in L.A. this skit was the indie version of the Californians skit, i loved it.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Law & Order SVU "Jersey Breakdown" Episode Discussion
learned:
* Disney Channel just got dark...
* kid, you better tell Liv exactly what happened, Liv is sporting the frogmouth.
* she works at a steak house? oh, THAT steak house!
* bridge? New Jersey? governor of New Jersey?...nah, couldn't be...
* ---Liv: i thought you were in L.A..
---Connie: my show got canceled, remember?
---Liv: oh yeah, forgot, i've been so busy over here making new episodes.
---Connie: don't take this the wrong way, but they should have kept the mothership show and gotten rid of SVU, it's stale as hell now.
---Liv: hey, did you forget about Lewis?
---Connie: why is everyone exiting your show?
---Liv: *pause* we had Lewis and everything...
---Connie: i'm prettier than you...
* Rollins, hit only on 2, 4, and 20, my great-great-great ancestor told me that during a fever dream i had recently after eating oysters for breakfast.
* if you're gonna go through with the grand showboating of a harakiri ceremony, the least you can do is take an extra few minutes to leave a note.
* what could it be? what's going on with Amaro? why did Amaro's ex-wife call Liv? what's with the wine?...i'm holding out hope for a threeway...
* Disney Channel just got dark...
* kid, you better tell Liv exactly what happened, Liv is sporting the frogmouth.
* she works at a steak house? oh, THAT steak house!
* bridge? New Jersey? governor of New Jersey?...nah, couldn't be...
* ---Liv: i thought you were in L.A..
---Connie: my show got canceled, remember?
---Liv: oh yeah, forgot, i've been so busy over here making new episodes.
---Connie: don't take this the wrong way, but they should have kept the mothership show and gotten rid of SVU, it's stale as hell now.
---Liv: hey, did you forget about Lewis?
---Connie: why is everyone exiting your show?
---Liv: *pause* we had Lewis and everything...
---Connie: i'm prettier than you...
* Rollins, hit only on 2, 4, and 20, my great-great-great ancestor told me that during a fever dream i had recently after eating oysters for breakfast.
* if you're gonna go through with the grand showboating of a harakiri ceremony, the least you can do is take an extra few minutes to leave a note.
* what could it be? what's going on with Amaro? why did Amaro's ex-wife call Liv? what's with the wine?...i'm holding out hope for a threeway...
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Saturday Night Live Drake Episode Discussion
learned:
* WHAT?! THERE'S A NEW CAST MEMBER?! AND SHE'S A BLACK WOMAN?!
* yeah, that sun with the baby face? yeah, sorry, but I always found that creepy as f***.
* as the musical guest: first song: sick beat. second song: there's gonna be a sex break during the commercial break, if you know what I mean...too bad they can't film that, but then it wouldn't be a proper break.
* Weekend Update: I am definitely down for some naked nonsense with "Arianna". let me just get my that special bike...
* don't blame her/him, Indiana Jones is cool 'n' all, but have you tasted Rice-a-Roni chicken flavor? that shit is fucking tasty.
* I was expecting the Sasheer spotlight to drown out anything Drake did, but if turns out this was Drake's show tonight from the jump. there wasn't a clever "look at us! we hired a black woman" sketch, not even a quick mention of race or gender, she just fell seamlessly into the cast with nary a whisper, which is a good thing. turns out my boy can act, be funny, do impressions, and sing, but we all expected that, he was on Degrassi after all. speaking of barely mentions, Degrassi did get a shout-out but not a sketch...well, not a direct sketch anyway. too Canadian for SNL to bother with?
* WHAT?! THERE'S A NEW CAST MEMBER?! AND SHE'S A BLACK WOMAN?!
* yeah, that sun with the baby face? yeah, sorry, but I always found that creepy as f***.
* as the musical guest: first song: sick beat. second song: there's gonna be a sex break during the commercial break, if you know what I mean...too bad they can't film that, but then it wouldn't be a proper break.
* Weekend Update: I am definitely down for some naked nonsense with "Arianna". let me just get my that special bike...
* don't blame her/him, Indiana Jones is cool 'n' all, but have you tasted Rice-a-Roni chicken flavor? that shit is fucking tasty.
* I was expecting the Sasheer spotlight to drown out anything Drake did, but if turns out this was Drake's show tonight from the jump. there wasn't a clever "look at us! we hired a black woman" sketch, not even a quick mention of race or gender, she just fell seamlessly into the cast with nary a whisper, which is a good thing. turns out my boy can act, be funny, do impressions, and sing, but we all expected that, he was on Degrassi after all. speaking of barely mentions, Degrassi did get a shout-out but not a sketch...well, not a direct sketch anyway. too Canadian for SNL to bother with?
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Law & Order SVU "Amaro's One-Eighty" Episode Discussion
learned:
* yeah, i know who Fin goes home to, that mondo-stacked babe, right?
* i hate to be the party killjoy here, but there's really a simple solution to all this: when cops are at a dinner party, don't serve alcohol.
* wow, this is gettin' me all philosophical. i mean, if i had to make the stark choice between either living paralyzed or dying, i'm not sure i'd choose life. sad but true.
* Liv's boyfriend is a better actor when he's the bad guy...
* "Rev, the cameras are over there. Pics Or It Didn't Happen applies even with religion and social justice."
* dude, not cool, Oscar could have been in that trash can.
* don't tell me they cut Richard Belzer's Munch cameo for time! :(
* "Liv, do something with this place...yes, sure, i meant to carry on the noble tradition of this police unit, but really i meant add some pink-unicorn wallpaper or something to this room, i fucking love pink unicorns."
* all is right with the world. did you see the preview for next week? the All-Time Goddess is back: Alana de la Garza :) google her and behold her beauty for eternity...
* yeah, i know who Fin goes home to, that mondo-stacked babe, right?
* i hate to be the party killjoy here, but there's really a simple solution to all this: when cops are at a dinner party, don't serve alcohol.
* wow, this is gettin' me all philosophical. i mean, if i had to make the stark choice between either living paralyzed or dying, i'm not sure i'd choose life. sad but true.
* Liv's boyfriend is a better actor when he's the bad guy...
* "Rev, the cameras are over there. Pics Or It Didn't Happen applies even with religion and social justice."
* dude, not cool, Oscar could have been in that trash can.
* don't tell me they cut Richard Belzer's Munch cameo for time! :(
* "Liv, do something with this place...yes, sure, i meant to carry on the noble tradition of this police unit, but really i meant add some pink-unicorn wallpaper or something to this room, i fucking love pink unicorns."
* all is right with the world. did you see the preview for next week? the All-Time Goddess is back: Alana de la Garza :) google her and behold her beauty for eternity...
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Law & Order SVU "Psycho/Therapist" Episode Discussion
learned:
* I KNEW IT! i knew there'd be a Liv/shrink ship: Link! Liv's dreams are quite fertile and telling: the shrink as her absent father figure? that kiss was strangely...okay.
* y'know, Pablo's performance would win a comedy award if this wasn't about such a serious matter.
* yes, Lewis, it was a transporter. yes, you are in fact Houdini, keep 'em comin', i love madman logic. oh, i guess you can't say Star Trek transporter with that belonging to CBS and all...
* the spit: we all saw spit coming out of Lewis's mouth. Lewis i'm sure sees it more as drool. he's fantasizing about having sex with Liv right now wherever he is the sick bastard. except, it's not sex, it would actually be rape.
* four months later: Lewis is still master-manipulatin'. first, that female juror, then the attractive prison doctor, and then the season finale where he undoubtedly comes back and...does that...to her! I know women fall for bad boys, but...
* I KNEW IT! i knew there'd be a Liv/shrink ship: Link! Liv's dreams are quite fertile and telling: the shrink as her absent father figure? that kiss was strangely...okay.
* y'know, Pablo's performance would win a comedy award if this wasn't about such a serious matter.
* yes, Lewis, it was a transporter. yes, you are in fact Houdini, keep 'em comin', i love madman logic. oh, i guess you can't say Star Trek transporter with that belonging to CBS and all...
* the spit: we all saw spit coming out of Lewis's mouth. Lewis i'm sure sees it more as drool. he's fantasizing about having sex with Liv right now wherever he is the sick bastard. except, it's not sex, it would actually be rape.
* four months later: Lewis is still master-manipulatin'. first, that female juror, then the attractive prison doctor, and then the season finale where he undoubtedly comes back and...does that...to her! I know women fall for bad boys, but...
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