learned:
* I love you, Justin!
* Family Feud: did Justin let slip the closely-guarded secret that Jimmy sniffs...his nose?
* twin-bed sex music video: so then that scene with Cecily Strong and Mike O'Brien in bed together wasn't just for the skit, that was a little peek into their private life...
* Justin as the musical guest: now see, 1984 wouldn't have been so bad to get through if it had been like this.
* it is true that Ebenezer Scrooge seemed gayer when he was younger. as his mom would say, "sure, we know, Ebenezer was always such a happy boy!" that was lifted directly from the Three's Company where Jack's mom visits.
* Baby, It's Cold Outside: awwww, Show is being sweet again...
* this episode's bill will be astronomical with all the celebrity cameos they stuffed in. the least they could have done was have a massive ice ending at the end. wouldn't it have been gnarly to see Madonna on skates?
* Drake: there better be a Degrassi skit, I'm waiting for that SNL Degrassi skit, it's the only thing I'm living for...
NOTES FROM MY NETHER / only the finest programs of television / your host this evening is early and wears no robe, 83optics on youtube but you know him better as THE LATE PHOENIX / come and mull over the monastery mulled wine, see what's on / N O T E S
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Saturday, December 21, 2013
The Haunting Hour "Uncle Howee" Episode Discussion
learned:
* so far, more cool than scary. I mean, five-year-old me would have LOVED it if Grover from Sesame Street would have talked directly to me through the tv screen using my name. that would have been magical, not dark.
* dude, at least get a new plate for those gross fish sticks...
* "my mom is such a drag, she's like this nurse or something that helps sick and injured people. I know, bro, I know, she just doesn't get me, slackers who want to see movies have rights, too, ya feel me?"
* again, not scary, who WOULDN'T want to be friends with the Ice King?
* if you ever wanted to know how Spongebob would sound like truly menacing...
* this piece was ruined by the brother's bad acting. he was trying to be your typical bored, put-upon teenager, but he was too lackadaisical and not spiteful enough. the writing called for him to be a bully, but it came out as him just being a pathetic sad sack. the sister didn't ever really seem threatened by him, she saw him for the powerless loser that he was.
* series finale? if so, it had a good run. yes, this last season was definitely not as sharp as the previous two, but overall, this was a good effort. I'm a sucker for these kinds of shows, I'll always watch and be a fan of young-adult Canadian anthologies, the tv landscape is poorer whenever we don't see grey skies, weirdness, and smart-mouthed kids from broken homes. remember also, this is horror, but horror for kids, they can't really go all the way with things, y'know? no episode in this series freaked me out to the point where I couldn't go to sleep that night, but you could tell they tried, and they cared. they were giving it their all to make a good show, not just another show. it showed.
* so far, more cool than scary. I mean, five-year-old me would have LOVED it if Grover from Sesame Street would have talked directly to me through the tv screen using my name. that would have been magical, not dark.
* dude, at least get a new plate for those gross fish sticks...
* "my mom is such a drag, she's like this nurse or something that helps sick and injured people. I know, bro, I know, she just doesn't get me, slackers who want to see movies have rights, too, ya feel me?"
* again, not scary, who WOULDN'T want to be friends with the Ice King?
* if you ever wanted to know how Spongebob would sound like truly menacing...
* this piece was ruined by the brother's bad acting. he was trying to be your typical bored, put-upon teenager, but he was too lackadaisical and not spiteful enough. the writing called for him to be a bully, but it came out as him just being a pathetic sad sack. the sister didn't ever really seem threatened by him, she saw him for the powerless loser that he was.
* series finale? if so, it had a good run. yes, this last season was definitely not as sharp as the previous two, but overall, this was a good effort. I'm a sucker for these kinds of shows, I'll always watch and be a fan of young-adult Canadian anthologies, the tv landscape is poorer whenever we don't see grey skies, weirdness, and smart-mouthed kids from broken homes. remember also, this is horror, but horror for kids, they can't really go all the way with things, y'know? no episode in this series freaked me out to the point where I couldn't go to sleep that night, but you could tell they tried, and they cared. they were giving it their all to make a good show, not just another show. it showed.
Spooksville "The Dark Corner" Episode Discussion
learned:
* Watch me bug Watch with my double negatives and wrong plurals: can you not not believe we have to wait 'til March for new Spooksville? I am not one of the sheeps, I love this show for personal reasons, not just 'cause it's the hot fad currently.
* I'm afraid to look up Scandinavian fire drill on urbandictionary...it's something sexual, huh?
* Ann never stepped foot in a library, she used magic to read all the spells for her. who needs books?...except for spell books of course. Ann isn't another tragic case of illiteracy, she's a witch, she's a success story...
* Ninja Ex Machina
* Adam, I hate to break up this touching scene, but that isn't your mother...that's a stunt double.
* this show is literally the ONLY reason I have to live for the next three months...
* Watch me bug Watch with my double negatives and wrong plurals: can you not not believe we have to wait 'til March for new Spooksville? I am not one of the sheeps, I love this show for personal reasons, not just 'cause it's the hot fad currently.
* I'm afraid to look up Scandinavian fire drill on urbandictionary...it's something sexual, huh?
* Ann never stepped foot in a library, she used magic to read all the spells for her. who needs books?...except for spell books of course. Ann isn't another tragic case of illiteracy, she's a witch, she's a success story...
* Ninja Ex Machina
* Adam, I hate to break up this touching scene, but that isn't your mother...that's a stunt double.
* this show is literally the ONLY reason I have to live for the next three months...
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Saturday Night Live John Goodman / Kings of Leon Episode Discussion
learned:
* booty would solve my holiday blues...
* Dance of the Snowflakes: I just realized this skit was dumb...
* Three Wise Guys: that isn't how it happened? also, how does this recounting square with the universe being a hologram?
* Kings of Leon: hold up, I guess I got the wrong impression here, I always thought this band oozed sexual energy and women the world over would offer their soaked panties to them whenever. what we got was more subdued---good, but subdued--with a lead singer in a pink sweater.
* Weekend Update: will Stefon be there on Seth's last day?...
* yes, I'd enjoy watching Phylicia Rashad sleep...
* Shallon is a tragic figure for me, she's the one who is too cool for her own good. she sees the world so clearly, but will end up a premature death from slipping on a banana peel or something.
* are the Last Call skits supposed to be disgusting? I find them hot. I relate to them. that's me on screen.
* speaking of subdued, the audience was subdued all night, not much for John Goodman, and surprisingly the Sex Kings of Leon got more of a polite clap than a female roar of rapture. holiday blues? they only started to pick up with the Last Call skit, but that's just 'cause they were drunk...
* booty would solve my holiday blues...
* Dance of the Snowflakes: I just realized this skit was dumb...
* Three Wise Guys: that isn't how it happened? also, how does this recounting square with the universe being a hologram?
* Kings of Leon: hold up, I guess I got the wrong impression here, I always thought this band oozed sexual energy and women the world over would offer their soaked panties to them whenever. what we got was more subdued---good, but subdued--with a lead singer in a pink sweater.
* Weekend Update: will Stefon be there on Seth's last day?...
* yes, I'd enjoy watching Phylicia Rashad sleep...
* Shallon is a tragic figure for me, she's the one who is too cool for her own good. she sees the world so clearly, but will end up a premature death from slipping on a banana peel or something.
* are the Last Call skits supposed to be disgusting? I find them hot. I relate to them. that's me on screen.
* speaking of subdued, the audience was subdued all night, not much for John Goodman, and surprisingly the Sex Kings of Leon got more of a polite clap than a female roar of rapture. holiday blues? they only started to pick up with the Last Call skit, but that's just 'cause they were drunk...
Saturday, December 14, 2013
The Haunting Hour "Toy Train" Episode Discussion
learned:
* Velcro, Velcro is the answer to the shoelaces conundrum.
* did you notice that the man who knew the father as a kid during the train incident slightly flubbed his line but they kept it in anyway? I like that, it adds a certain realistic, documentary feel to the piece.
* the kid with the wild hair who turns out to be the father as a kid looks like Lord of the Flies right before they all went feral.
* I'm with the wild-child kid, the pound sign does look like a menacing closed fist ready to punch...
* everyone's first exposure to elongated coins: Disneyland.
* Velcro, Velcro is the answer to the shoelaces conundrum.
* did you notice that the man who knew the father as a kid during the train incident slightly flubbed his line but they kept it in anyway? I like that, it adds a certain realistic, documentary feel to the piece.
* the kid with the wild hair who turns out to be the father as a kid looks like Lord of the Flies right before they all went feral.
* I'm with the wild-child kid, the pound sign does look like a menacing closed fist ready to punch...
* everyone's first exposure to elongated coins: Disneyland.
Spooksville "The No-Ones" Episode Discussion
I guess there's no ignoring Spooksville anymore. it's simply a great horror/supernatural show, imbued with the distinctive Canadian grey skies of shows like early The X-Files and harkening back to quality '90s shows where the young characters were interested in more than becoming singing stars. Katie Douglas is a revelation as short, whipsmart Sally. for someone so young, this girl already has seasoned acting chops.
learned:
* the alien girl: perfect exotic alien look, not the most emotive actress, the scene at the end where she really needed to sell her high-drama stakes came out flat. she was a little too quiet and mumbly for me.
* Watch mentions the Autism Spectrum, which I'm noticing more and more the longer I encounter folk online...
* only Sally is small enough to fit into small wagons and, well, tiny mouse holes I suspect next.
* Ann and Sally are forever linked, so Ann kissed Adam along with Sally during that CPR kiss. I'm just building the catfight tension between the two girls for next time, I love it when these two rivals are forced to share scenes together. deep down you know they're learning to care for each other like sisters...
* touching scene with Watch and his mom. Mom talks about accepting yourself, Watch promises to be a better son. I always get choked up during those awkward family moments of half-hugs and the use of the term "better son."
* wow, that was one sumptuous kiss on the cheek there! Sally immediately points to the mistletoe as the reason, but this definitely gives those Satch shippers something to ponder.
learned:
* the alien girl: perfect exotic alien look, not the most emotive actress, the scene at the end where she really needed to sell her high-drama stakes came out flat. she was a little too quiet and mumbly for me.
* Watch mentions the Autism Spectrum, which I'm noticing more and more the longer I encounter folk online...
* only Sally is small enough to fit into small wagons and, well, tiny mouse holes I suspect next.
* Ann and Sally are forever linked, so Ann kissed Adam along with Sally during that CPR kiss. I'm just building the catfight tension between the two girls for next time, I love it when these two rivals are forced to share scenes together. deep down you know they're learning to care for each other like sisters...
* touching scene with Watch and his mom. Mom talks about accepting yourself, Watch promises to be a better son. I always get choked up during those awkward family moments of half-hugs and the use of the term "better son."
* wow, that was one sumptuous kiss on the cheek there! Sally immediately points to the mistletoe as the reason, but this definitely gives those Satch shippers something to ponder.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Saturday Night Live Paul Rudd / One Direction Episode Discussion
learned:
* i know, right? The Sound of Music has been in my consciousness all week ever since the live event, i've been singing all the old songs again and confirming to myself that this is the greatest musical of all time. i've stabbed myself with so many nostalgia arrows, it...well, yeah, and i guess SNL felt the same way as me and had to express it in a skit.
* One Direction: when they sing individually, their voices are awkward and low. when they sing together, they produce an angelic, brilliant, loud chorus. not sayin' anything fishy is going on backstage, just sayin'.
* the Black Christmas movie for white people: racist...but that was exactly the point...right?
* the "NEXT!" critic who hates everything has a creepy obsession with Jesus.
* that was the most cynical portrayal of Santa i've ever seen...though i accept the new Mrs. Claus...
* yes, Paul Rudd, i agree, after the Cecily/Nasim thing hit our imaginations, we all need to take a play-with-yourself break. i'll be right back in one minute to this scintillating review...
* was it just me, or were they actually EARLY one minute at the end of the show? that, like, never happens.
* i know, right? The Sound of Music has been in my consciousness all week ever since the live event, i've been singing all the old songs again and confirming to myself that this is the greatest musical of all time. i've stabbed myself with so many nostalgia arrows, it...well, yeah, and i guess SNL felt the same way as me and had to express it in a skit.
* One Direction: when they sing individually, their voices are awkward and low. when they sing together, they produce an angelic, brilliant, loud chorus. not sayin' anything fishy is going on backstage, just sayin'.
* the Black Christmas movie for white people: racist...but that was exactly the point...right?
* the "NEXT!" critic who hates everything has a creepy obsession with Jesus.
* that was the most cynical portrayal of Santa i've ever seen...though i accept the new Mrs. Claus...
* yes, Paul Rudd, i agree, after the Cecily/Nasim thing hit our imaginations, we all need to take a play-with-yourself break. i'll be right back in one minute to this scintillating review...
* was it just me, or were they actually EARLY one minute at the end of the show? that, like, never happens.
Saturday, December 7, 2013
The Haunting Hour "Bad Egg" Episode Discussion
learned:
* it's the egg-as-your-child trope, gird your loins.
* THIS IS AN UNAUTHORIZED AREA THAT PROTECTS SENSITIVE MATERIAL AND LIFE FORMS, IT GETS FUMIGATED HOURLY FOR CIGARETTE SMOKING SMOKE
* there's a thin line between joking around in class and serial killer: the boy with the fro
* there's a thin line between military rigor and serial killer: the father
* come on, Cigarette Smoking Man, i thought you were smarter than this! you sifted through the boy's laundry but didn't check the white bag over his shoulder?
* the mom wants nothing to do with her family, she wants to just go back to her ladies (read: lesbian orgy).
* the ending: yep, see, serial killer, but at least he'll have a cool sidekick along with him on his spree.
* it's the egg-as-your-child trope, gird your loins.
* THIS IS AN UNAUTHORIZED AREA THAT PROTECTS SENSITIVE MATERIAL AND LIFE FORMS, IT GETS FUMIGATED HOURLY FOR CIGARETTE SMOKING SMOKE
* there's a thin line between joking around in class and serial killer: the boy with the fro
* there's a thin line between military rigor and serial killer: the father
* come on, Cigarette Smoking Man, i thought you were smarter than this! you sifted through the boy's laundry but didn't check the white bag over his shoulder?
* the mom wants nothing to do with her family, she wants to just go back to her ladies (read: lesbian orgy).
* the ending: yep, see, serial killer, but at least he'll have a cool sidekick along with him on his spree.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
The Haunting Hour "My Robot" Episode Discussion
learned:
* ABA: Anybody But Alabama...
* ---"you're sounding like a weirdo again."
---"but i AM a weirdo."
---"a robot? really?"
---"the internet, man, you can find anything there."
---"what else can you find on the internet?"
---"uh...nevermind."
* this one touched upon what many nerds/loners/outcasts do during middle/high school to escape the pain of loneliness and rejection, they make up a force, a being, a robot or monster that is on their side, that is bigger and stronger than the bullies, who can save them and fight their hopeless battles for them. except in this case, it's not made up, the robot is real.
* theory disproven: this episode was good despite the lack of female (except for the robot herself as i learned later from imdbing the credits :P)
* preview: Cigarette Smoking Man on The Haunting Hour. the two sci-fi streams cross and my nerd brain explodes.
* this one really really reminded me of classic black-and-white Twilight Zone. the robot used was a throwback to a '50s/'60s-era robot Rod Serling did use in his episodes.
* nice switcheroo with the lesson: at first, you're all sympathizing with the mini-Jon Heder who's essentially a slave to this nightmare computer with legs. then, he passes it off to his friend. so, it turns out the protagonist of our story is a d**k. oh, maybe i'm being too harsh, guess he's just a kid who wanted his freedom, pizza, and parents back, can't really blame him i suppose. was that bowtie contraption he takes off in the end a forcefield or something, a barrier that prevented the robot from killing the nerd? that wasn't explained. so, from outcasts will go to dangerous lengths for protection and companionship. to do not make friends with weird nerds.?
* ABA: Anybody But Alabama...
* ---"you're sounding like a weirdo again."
---"but i AM a weirdo."
---"a robot? really?"
---"the internet, man, you can find anything there."
---"what else can you find on the internet?"
---"uh...nevermind."
* this one touched upon what many nerds/loners/outcasts do during middle/high school to escape the pain of loneliness and rejection, they make up a force, a being, a robot or monster that is on their side, that is bigger and stronger than the bullies, who can save them and fight their hopeless battles for them. except in this case, it's not made up, the robot is real.
* theory disproven: this episode was good despite the lack of female (except for the robot herself as i learned later from imdbing the credits :P)
* preview: Cigarette Smoking Man on The Haunting Hour. the two sci-fi streams cross and my nerd brain explodes.
* this one really really reminded me of classic black-and-white Twilight Zone. the robot used was a throwback to a '50s/'60s-era robot Rod Serling did use in his episodes.
* nice switcheroo with the lesson: at first, you're all sympathizing with the mini-Jon Heder who's essentially a slave to this nightmare computer with legs. then, he passes it off to his friend. so, it turns out the protagonist of our story is a d**k. oh, maybe i'm being too harsh, guess he's just a kid who wanted his freedom, pizza, and parents back, can't really blame him i suppose. was that bowtie contraption he takes off in the end a forcefield or something, a barrier that prevented the robot from killing the nerd? that wasn't explained. so, from outcasts will go to dangerous lengths for protection and companionship. to do not make friends with weird nerds.?
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Saturday Night Live Josh Hutcherson / HAIM Episode Discussion
learned:
* this is new tonight? i'm still solely focused on that Doctor Who special...
* i'd rather watch a real-life Battle Royale between SNL cast members than this SNL show. the Doctor thing again...
* Josh Hutcherson isn't short, the world is too long.
* HAIM: if Veruca Salt were an indie, experimental, garage band. R.I.P. Corey Haim.
* anyone else get that lack of video with the audio alignment debacle at the start of the bugs-interview skit? or was it just me buggin'?
* two skits tonight made me cry rather than laugh: the animal hospital one wasn't funny, i just thought back to my late Persian kittie. the one where the dude held up the obsolete video-camera recorder reminded me of my late great beautiful father. he used to do that with the recorder, too, sometimes forgot to take off the black cap before recording. love you all.
* last skit: love conquers all...except cannibalism.
* this is new tonight? i'm still solely focused on that Doctor Who special...
* i'd rather watch a real-life Battle Royale between SNL cast members than this SNL show. the Doctor thing again...
* Josh Hutcherson isn't short, the world is too long.
* HAIM: if Veruca Salt were an indie, experimental, garage band. R.I.P. Corey Haim.
* anyone else get that lack of video with the audio alignment debacle at the start of the bugs-interview skit? or was it just me buggin'?
* two skits tonight made me cry rather than laugh: the animal hospital one wasn't funny, i just thought back to my late Persian kittie. the one where the dude held up the obsolete video-camera recorder reminded me of my late great beautiful father. he used to do that with the recorder, too, sometimes forgot to take off the black cap before recording. love you all.
* last skit: love conquers all...except cannibalism.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
The Haunting Hour "Dead Bodies" Episode Discussion
learned:
* i know i'm only getting to this now, but that bike in the opening credits really should have been fixed by now.
* i know, i know, we all miss Mr. Young...
* ---"aren't you gonna study for the SATs?"
---"i'd rather **** my bad-boy boyfriend."
---"honey, he's just gonna use you."
---"joke's on you. it's just the PSATs."
---"yeah, well, you're lucky you're hot 'cause you can't act worth ****"
* dude, seriously, trust me, it's better you don't know what a blog is, the world of blogs leads you down a lonely path of typing tv-show reviews alone in your room on a Saturday night.
* "it's just car oil on my wrist, it's just car oil on my wrist..."
* "Anna, don't freak out. remember when you told me Two-Face was your favorite Batman villain?..."
* "SHAKE MY HAND NOW! I CANNOT STAND TO HAVE AN IMPOLITE GIRLFRIEND!!!"
* was anyone else getting an E.T. vibe at the end there?
* "i will have my revenge! or, actually, y'know, just the comb will do. it's Hell, but you still gotta look good."
* i know i'm only getting to this now, but that bike in the opening credits really should have been fixed by now.
* i know, i know, we all miss Mr. Young...
* ---"aren't you gonna study for the SATs?"
---"i'd rather **** my bad-boy boyfriend."
---"honey, he's just gonna use you."
---"joke's on you. it's just the PSATs."
---"yeah, well, you're lucky you're hot 'cause you can't act worth ****"
* dude, seriously, trust me, it's better you don't know what a blog is, the world of blogs leads you down a lonely path of typing tv-show reviews alone in your room on a Saturday night.
* "it's just car oil on my wrist, it's just car oil on my wrist..."
* "Anna, don't freak out. remember when you told me Two-Face was your favorite Batman villain?..."
* "SHAKE MY HAND NOW! I CANNOT STAND TO HAVE AN IMPOLITE GIRLFRIEND!!!"
* was anyone else getting an E.T. vibe at the end there?
* "i will have my revenge! or, actually, y'know, just the comb will do. it's Hell, but you still gotta look good."
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Degrassi "Spiderwebs" Episode Discussion
learned:
* ATTENTION ANYONE READING THIS: COLLEGE IS A FRAUD. IT WON'T MAKE YOU SMARTER, SEXIER, BETTER-LOOKING, MORE ATTRACTIVE, MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE, MORE LEARNED, A BETTER, MORE WELL-ROUNDED, COMPASSIONATE PERSON. IT'S JUST A WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME. SPREAD THE GOOD WORD. TRANSMISSION OUT.
* i thought a turkey dump was when the turkey...oh nevermind...
* the big black bug on top of Peter Piper's head picked a peck of pickled seashells by the seashore.
* the Degrassi Family Feast takes a dark turn when Zoe pops her head into the oven and...it wasn't a prop oven, it was real...it was a real oven...
* Bianca: okay, Drew, i pretended for one day, it's over now, i have to go.
Drew: but B, i'm lost without you. i mean, look at you, there is no way in hell i'll ever ever land a sizzling hot babe like you again.
Bianca: what about Clare?...
Drew: like i was saying, never ever again.
Bianca: sorry Drew, but college opened my eyes, i can see clearly now, the rain is gone. i mean, no offense, but i can do so much better.
Drew: 'til the world explodes?
Bianca: been meanin' to talk to you about that. that's just an expression, right? you aren't gonna do anything crazy 'cause of this, right?
Drew: yeah. just answer me one thing, babe.
Bianca: anything, babe.
Drew: y'know that whole extended tv special we did that revolved around us and all the machinations we went through and all the adventures and everything? looking back, what was the point of all that?
Bianca: i'm calling the writers on my cell right now...
* memory time: while i appreciate the long break, it seems there won't be a Degrassi Christmas special this year. that saddens me. i remember distinctly back when the film L.A. Confidential was in theatres during the holidays, i watched the movie with my mom in the pouring rain, and although it was a good flick, i wanted to get home from it as quickly as possible so as not to miss the Degrassi Christmas episode at 6PM. this Degrassi: The Next Generation thing was still novel to me at the time, and i must say, after that Christmas special, i was really cemented into the show, i fell in love with all the characters and i felt invested in all of their plots. in short, i cared, i really cared.
happy holidays from the late phoenix
* ATTENTION ANYONE READING THIS: COLLEGE IS A FRAUD. IT WON'T MAKE YOU SMARTER, SEXIER, BETTER-LOOKING, MORE ATTRACTIVE, MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE, MORE LEARNED, A BETTER, MORE WELL-ROUNDED, COMPASSIONATE PERSON. IT'S JUST A WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME. SPREAD THE GOOD WORD. TRANSMISSION OUT.
* i thought a turkey dump was when the turkey...oh nevermind...
* the big black bug on top of Peter Piper's head picked a peck of pickled seashells by the seashore.
* the Degrassi Family Feast takes a dark turn when Zoe pops her head into the oven and...it wasn't a prop oven, it was real...it was a real oven...
* Bianca: okay, Drew, i pretended for one day, it's over now, i have to go.
Drew: but B, i'm lost without you. i mean, look at you, there is no way in hell i'll ever ever land a sizzling hot babe like you again.
Bianca: what about Clare?...
Drew: like i was saying, never ever again.
Bianca: sorry Drew, but college opened my eyes, i can see clearly now, the rain is gone. i mean, no offense, but i can do so much better.
Drew: 'til the world explodes?
Bianca: been meanin' to talk to you about that. that's just an expression, right? you aren't gonna do anything crazy 'cause of this, right?
Drew: yeah. just answer me one thing, babe.
Bianca: anything, babe.
Drew: y'know that whole extended tv special we did that revolved around us and all the machinations we went through and all the adventures and everything? looking back, what was the point of all that?
Bianca: i'm calling the writers on my cell right now...
* memory time: while i appreciate the long break, it seems there won't be a Degrassi Christmas special this year. that saddens me. i remember distinctly back when the film L.A. Confidential was in theatres during the holidays, i watched the movie with my mom in the pouring rain, and although it was a good flick, i wanted to get home from it as quickly as possible so as not to miss the Degrassi Christmas episode at 6PM. this Degrassi: The Next Generation thing was still novel to me at the time, and i must say, after that Christmas special, i was really cemented into the show, i fell in love with all the characters and i felt invested in all of their plots. in short, i cared, i really cared.
happy holidays from the late phoenix
Law & Order SVU "Rapist Anonymous" Episode Discussion
learned:
* HE CAME, THEN HE WENT, THEN HE CONQUERED.
* nice foreshadowing at the beginning there with her hand touching his leg beneath the table.
* the 13th stepper's credo: let go, let God, and help out your fellow group members...the hot, female group members...
* "you're not my father!...and you're not my daddy...yet...let's see what the writers have in store for us..."
* loved the fade-to-black after Liv under her breath says "wow" to Rollins's slam of Liv having to go to therapy. that scene could have worked fine with just a close-up of Liv's worried, stern face---you know that face Liv always does---but it's like Mariska couldn't help herself and had to react vocally. that struck me as funny :)
* Cragen has had enough prostitutes and now wants to settle down...
* last scene: don't worry, Rollins hasn't relapsed, it's just that she takes Go Fish very very seriously.
* HE CAME, THEN HE WENT, THEN HE CONQUERED.
* nice foreshadowing at the beginning there with her hand touching his leg beneath the table.
* the 13th stepper's credo: let go, let God, and help out your fellow group members...the hot, female group members...
* "you're not my father!...and you're not my daddy...yet...let's see what the writers have in store for us..."
* loved the fade-to-black after Liv under her breath says "wow" to Rollins's slam of Liv having to go to therapy. that scene could have worked fine with just a close-up of Liv's worried, stern face---you know that face Liv always does---but it's like Mariska couldn't help herself and had to react vocally. that struck me as funny :)
* Cragen has had enough prostitutes and now wants to settle down...
* last scene: don't worry, Rollins hasn't relapsed, it's just that she takes Go Fish very very seriously.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Saturday Night Live Lady Gaga Episode Discussion
learned:
* OMG, look who's coming out! it's Madonna!.......oh.......
* Gaga as the musical guest: R. Kelly, you ARE the father.
* skit which made me involuntarily laugh: the Lincoln-era failed speech-writer...first with Jesus, and then his screw-up, great stuff. it's true, those that can't do...are critics.
* imagine if the Mr. Senior skit was actually done by Bill Cosby...
* Blockbuster was never magical to me. Circuit City was, though. that's where i first spotted a high-school girl fairy with a tramp stamp, a tiny stuffed bear in one arm, and her bulky, football-player orc boyfriend on the other.
* last skit: a sobering commentary on the fleeting nature of even mega-fame...plus, i like future stuff, so...
* OMG, look who's coming out! it's Madonna!.......oh.......
* Gaga as the musical guest: R. Kelly, you ARE the father.
* skit which made me involuntarily laugh: the Lincoln-era failed speech-writer...first with Jesus, and then his screw-up, great stuff. it's true, those that can't do...are critics.
* imagine if the Mr. Senior skit was actually done by Bill Cosby...
* Blockbuster was never magical to me. Circuit City was, though. that's where i first spotted a high-school girl fairy with a tramp stamp, a tiny stuffed bear in one arm, and her bulky, football-player orc boyfriend on the other.
* last skit: a sobering commentary on the fleeting nature of even mega-fame...plus, i like future stuff, so...
Saturday, November 16, 2013
The Haunting Hour "Long Live Rock & Roll" Episode Discussion
learned:
* imagine what Nirvana would sound like today in 2013...
* okay, so he's a pervert, but he's good...a good guitar player, not a good pervert...well, actually, he is a good pervert. the point is...
* kid, do not make any deals with Keith Richards. Keith Richards snorted his own father's ashes up his nose.
* it was Jesus, Jesus was the mischievous rascal who sabotaged Satan's guitar string. Jesus, you devil you :)
* so, is the 27 Club real? did famous musicians like Hendrix and Cobain sell their souls to Keith Richards---uh, Satan---in order to gain guitar-god immortality but in exchange they had tragically short lives? seems legit to me. the real question is why wouldn't you join such a club? i mean, life here on Earth really isn't all that great, right? why not go out a legend instead of living a long life as an unknown?
* testing my theory: see, this was a good episode. it flowed, didn't it? why?: because it had a female presence amongst the boys, the cute bass-player girl. see? see?
* imagine what Nirvana would sound like today in 2013...
* okay, so he's a pervert, but he's good...a good guitar player, not a good pervert...well, actually, he is a good pervert. the point is...
* kid, do not make any deals with Keith Richards. Keith Richards snorted his own father's ashes up his nose.
* it was Jesus, Jesus was the mischievous rascal who sabotaged Satan's guitar string. Jesus, you devil you :)
* so, is the 27 Club real? did famous musicians like Hendrix and Cobain sell their souls to Keith Richards---uh, Satan---in order to gain guitar-god immortality but in exchange they had tragically short lives? seems legit to me. the real question is why wouldn't you join such a club? i mean, life here on Earth really isn't all that great, right? why not go out a legend instead of living a long life as an unknown?
* testing my theory: see, this was a good episode. it flowed, didn't it? why?: because it had a female presence amongst the boys, the cute bass-player girl. see? see?
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Degrassi "Black or White" Episode Discussion
learned:
* Gray, life is gray.
* Becky has a nice ass...that's what Show is showing me right now...
* y'know, there isn't just one correct interpretation of The Bard. for instance, Romeo and Juliet was meant to be played as a comedy. if you really think about it, it makes sense, that ending is hilarious.
* wait, but Eli had an out, Clare thought he was talking about the cigarettes, not the cheating sex. props for going the honesty-is-the-best-policy route anyway. they could have easily avoided the issue with a Three's Company misunderstanding dodge.
* Drew, aren't you forgetting something? all you had to do was shove Winston into the Degrassi Black Hole and he would have disappeared forever. problem solved.
* the promo for next week's fall finale is a red herring. we all know that the two supercouples Drianca and Eclare will eventually get past all of their bumps in the road and be there for the double-wedding series finale...(Simpson and Oh)...
* Gray, life is gray.
* Becky has a nice ass...that's what Show is showing me right now...
* y'know, there isn't just one correct interpretation of The Bard. for instance, Romeo and Juliet was meant to be played as a comedy. if you really think about it, it makes sense, that ending is hilarious.
* wait, but Eli had an out, Clare thought he was talking about the cigarettes, not the cheating sex. props for going the honesty-is-the-best-policy route anyway. they could have easily avoided the issue with a Three's Company misunderstanding dodge.
* Drew, aren't you forgetting something? all you had to do was shove Winston into the Degrassi Black Hole and he would have disappeared forever. problem solved.
* the promo for next week's fall finale is a red herring. we all know that the two supercouples Drianca and Eclare will eventually get past all of their bumps in the road and be there for the double-wedding series finale...(Simpson and Oh)...
Law & Order SVU "Military Justice" Episode Discussion
learned:
* take a picture in the holding cell? no kid would think that was fun...
* that mother kissed her daughter like she was her third cousin removed whom she hadn't seen since wintering in Paris in '97.
* Barba: Amaro, don't show me that file!
Amaro: but...
Barba: do i have to order you in Spanish?!
* Amaro says goodbye to his daughter with the Spock salute...
* Amaro to ex-wife: are you sure you're not setting me up?
ex-wife/mole: i'm not...i'm not...i'm not...i'm not...i said it four times.
Amaro: but then who were you having dinner with in that shady scene they showed on tv?
* that thing y'know where you're actually immersed in the episode and not just waiting for the episode to end/spending the hour not paying attention to the episode as much as trying to come up with the five points you're going to type as your review here at his blog the next day...yeah, that was this episode, it was good, and i know why: Shiri Appleby isn't just another pretty face, she's a damn good actress, she even does drunk convincingly well, which isn't as easy as it seems.
* take a picture in the holding cell? no kid would think that was fun...
* that mother kissed her daughter like she was her third cousin removed whom she hadn't seen since wintering in Paris in '97.
* Barba: Amaro, don't show me that file!
Amaro: but...
Barba: do i have to order you in Spanish?!
* Amaro says goodbye to his daughter with the Spock salute...
* Amaro to ex-wife: are you sure you're not setting me up?
ex-wife/mole: i'm not...i'm not...i'm not...i'm not...i said it four times.
Amaro: but then who were you having dinner with in that shady scene they showed on tv?
* that thing y'know where you're actually immersed in the episode and not just waiting for the episode to end/spending the hour not paying attention to the episode as much as trying to come up with the five points you're going to type as your review here at his blog the next day...yeah, that was this episode, it was good, and i know why: Shiri Appleby isn't just another pretty face, she's a damn good actress, she even does drunk convincingly well, which isn't as easy as it seems.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
The Haunting Hour "Coat Rack Cowboy" Episode Discussion
learned:
* so this is the good Jonas, right?
* dude, the older brother in this episode is Fred!, older Fred without the annoying voice...he's still annoying, just without the voice.
* "sorry for all the spitting, i'm a heavy smoker as you might have guessed..."
* "you want to be filled with lead or biscuits?!...in this saloon, it's the same thing, 'cause the biscuits they serve here are as hard as lead."
* psychology is mightier than the gun.
* this episode was...dull. i know why: no females, no little sister or mom to balance out the scenery. not sayin' just sayin'. we as an audience take things like that for granted, but when there are both sexes present, the dialogue seems to run more smoothly, the whole production is more...alive somehow. i wonder how it'd be with an all-female, no-male episode...
* so this is the good Jonas, right?
* dude, the older brother in this episode is Fred!, older Fred without the annoying voice...he's still annoying, just without the voice.
* "sorry for all the spitting, i'm a heavy smoker as you might have guessed..."
* "you want to be filled with lead or biscuits?!...in this saloon, it's the same thing, 'cause the biscuits they serve here are as hard as lead."
* psychology is mightier than the gun.
* this episode was...dull. i know why: no females, no little sister or mom to balance out the scenery. not sayin' just sayin'. we as an audience take things like that for granted, but when there are both sexes present, the dialogue seems to run more smoothly, the whole production is more...alive somehow. i wonder how it'd be with an all-female, no-male episode...
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Degrassi "Barely Breathing" Episode Discussion
learned:
* "Dallas, i'm coming in, i'm pulling back the drape...three questions before i unshield my eyes: threesome? orgy? can i join?"
* they were obviously pulling their slaps during the bitch-fight...
* see? i keep telling you: real, inescapable pain produces the best guitar-driven songs.
* ---"you have to promise, no more alcohol?"
---"i swear, no more getting drunk...but i will get drunk...on life..."
---"you mean more babes without names?"
---"you know it!"
*brofist*
* ---"you have to turn the other cheek."
---"but Mom, a creep grabbed my ass at school today!"
---"then you have to turn the other...ass cheek...wait, that can't be right...........there will never be another Jesus, huh, honey?"
---"no, Mom, that's the point..."
* okay, the Leo thing: now we all know how this sad tale will end, Alli will give Leo an umpteenth chance, Leo will let her down again, he'll hit her again or worse, and the lesson will be learned the hard way. that's fine, but predictable. how about, writers, how about after all this drama, this time, this very moment in time, for the next few episodes, you have Leo go to therapy and actually really come out of it a recovered and healthy person. he actually, *gasp*, doesn't hit Alli anymore. it's a tale of redemption rather than tragedy. i know, i know, ratings and everything...
* "Dallas, i'm coming in, i'm pulling back the drape...three questions before i unshield my eyes: threesome? orgy? can i join?"
* they were obviously pulling their slaps during the bitch-fight...
* see? i keep telling you: real, inescapable pain produces the best guitar-driven songs.
* ---"you have to promise, no more alcohol?"
---"i swear, no more getting drunk...but i will get drunk...on life..."
---"you mean more babes without names?"
---"you know it!"
*brofist*
* ---"you have to turn the other cheek."
---"but Mom, a creep grabbed my ass at school today!"
---"then you have to turn the other...ass cheek...wait, that can't be right...........there will never be another Jesus, huh, honey?"
---"no, Mom, that's the point..."
* okay, the Leo thing: now we all know how this sad tale will end, Alli will give Leo an umpteenth chance, Leo will let her down again, he'll hit her again or worse, and the lesson will be learned the hard way. that's fine, but predictable. how about, writers, how about after all this drama, this time, this very moment in time, for the next few episodes, you have Leo go to therapy and actually really come out of it a recovered and healthy person. he actually, *gasp*, doesn't hit Alli anymore. it's a tale of redemption rather than tragedy. i know, i know, ratings and everything...
Law & Order SVU "Dissonant Voices" Episode Discussion
learned:
* OMG, it's that dude who won American Idol, the one Simon to this day still can't believe won American Idol. and now he's the one playing Simon. that's some insider casting!
* wait, the mothers all know how to furiously text? isn't the older generation not supposed to be as tech-savvy as the younger one? i mean, if Grandma can skype faster than her granddaughter, the natural order of the world is upset and we're all doomed.
* ---"i saw your name in the paper."
---"what does that have to do with anything, my shrink?"
---"no, nothing, it's just that i have a famous client. i'm screaming like a teenage girl on the inside right now."
---"hey man, isn't this supposed to be the fame-and-the-pursuit-of-fame-are-toxic episode?"
---"i know, i'm sorry, i'm being unprofessional...*giddy-on-the-inside face*"
* what those two boys were forced to do was wrong. on the other hand, they did spin a pretty convincing yarn. they are destined to be fine actors one day...
* okay, the acting of Billy Porter, the accused music teacher: i dunno, i guess i'm not in the Broadway loop, but i was thoroughly confused by this performance. i mean, it was either ultimately brilliant or terrible. a lot of his mannerisms and the way he talked seemed disjointed with the grim reality of the scenes, like he couldn't quite shake off his Broadway mode of being over-the-top and big and showy all the time. at the same time, the fact that he was rusty and uncomfortable and not polished does line up with a lowly music teacher who wouldn't be media-savvy and really just wants to go hide and not talk to anyone again. this is why acting is so frustratingly awesome both to critique and to do, it's those nuances which keep you guessing and coming back for more.
* OMG, it's that dude who won American Idol, the one Simon to this day still can't believe won American Idol. and now he's the one playing Simon. that's some insider casting!
* wait, the mothers all know how to furiously text? isn't the older generation not supposed to be as tech-savvy as the younger one? i mean, if Grandma can skype faster than her granddaughter, the natural order of the world is upset and we're all doomed.
* ---"i saw your name in the paper."
---"what does that have to do with anything, my shrink?"
---"no, nothing, it's just that i have a famous client. i'm screaming like a teenage girl on the inside right now."
---"hey man, isn't this supposed to be the fame-and-the-pursuit-of-fame-are-toxic episode?"
---"i know, i'm sorry, i'm being unprofessional...*giddy-on-the-inside face*"
* what those two boys were forced to do was wrong. on the other hand, they did spin a pretty convincing yarn. they are destined to be fine actors one day...
* okay, the acting of Billy Porter, the accused music teacher: i dunno, i guess i'm not in the Broadway loop, but i was thoroughly confused by this performance. i mean, it was either ultimately brilliant or terrible. a lot of his mannerisms and the way he talked seemed disjointed with the grim reality of the scenes, like he couldn't quite shake off his Broadway mode of being over-the-top and big and showy all the time. at the same time, the fact that he was rusty and uncomfortable and not polished does line up with a lowly music teacher who wouldn't be media-savvy and really just wants to go hide and not talk to anyone again. this is why acting is so frustratingly awesome both to critique and to do, it's those nuances which keep you guessing and coming back for more.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Saturday Night Live Kerry Washington / Eminem Episode Discussion
learned:
* cold open: way to go, Show! that's how you do it! you attack the no-black-woman thing head on instead of skirting it or ignoring it. humor soothes all wounds and racial divides. i like that, that's a good life lesson generally.
* Nasim watch: yes, love, love, more Nasim, always more Nasim...and yes, i am a fan of all the pelvic thrusts...and the kiss...
* Eminem: were you like me? did you think from that opening shot that Rick Rubin was really Eminem dressed up as Rick Rubin as a late Halloween prank?
* the Shaq impression was a nostalgia arrow for me back to the good ol' days...of Mad TV.
* the ice cream skit at the end there belonged on adult swim, not SNL. i say that lovingly. in my life, i will always prefer thinking surreally than laughing.
* Kerry Washington is a fantastic actress! she's quite disarming and unassuming when you watch her being her real-life self, but when it's time to act, boom!: masterclass. she goes from character type to way-different character type with ease. i knew of her of course, but this was the first time i was actually seeing her perform. she's gained a new fan. and it doesn't hurt that she's hot, has great legs and a nice big...well, yeah...i'm going to go watch Scandal now...okay, that's a lie, but the rest of it was true.
* cold open: way to go, Show! that's how you do it! you attack the no-black-woman thing head on instead of skirting it or ignoring it. humor soothes all wounds and racial divides. i like that, that's a good life lesson generally.
* Nasim watch: yes, love, love, more Nasim, always more Nasim...and yes, i am a fan of all the pelvic thrusts...and the kiss...
* Eminem: were you like me? did you think from that opening shot that Rick Rubin was really Eminem dressed up as Rick Rubin as a late Halloween prank?
* the Shaq impression was a nostalgia arrow for me back to the good ol' days...of Mad TV.
* the ice cream skit at the end there belonged on adult swim, not SNL. i say that lovingly. in my life, i will always prefer thinking surreally than laughing.
* Kerry Washington is a fantastic actress! she's quite disarming and unassuming when you watch her being her real-life self, but when it's time to act, boom!: masterclass. she goes from character type to way-different character type with ease. i knew of her of course, but this was the first time i was actually seeing her perform. she's gained a new fan. and it doesn't hurt that she's hot, has great legs and a nice big...well, yeah...i'm going to go watch Scandal now...okay, that's a lie, but the rest of it was true.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
The Haunting Hour "Lovecraft's Woods" Episode Discussion
learned:
* Lovecraft, i'm feeling all horror already.
* Jessica McLeod is cool! she answered me one time on youtube :)
* the light worked inside the shack because the owner, a notorious environmentalist, picked out from the store like the greatest energy-saving light bulb of all time...
* ---"are you okay? you look pale."
---"no, i'm okay. it's just my pale goth makeup."
* okay, here's my goth spiel: i'm afraid this episode and the recent South Park Goth Kids episode came too late to match the reality of 2013. there are no more goths anymore, no more emos. i've learned through facebook that everyone is just a nerd now. that being said: i am goth forever, i'm going down with the gloom 'n' doom ship, i can't envision a future me not liking Nine Inch Nails...
* this is obviously impossible to prove, but i did realize the monster with the long black hair was the future self of the goth girl with the long black hair before the show revealed it. now this may not seem like much to my brilliant readers out in the audience here, but you must understand, i'm slow on the uptake. for example, it took me twenty years to realize the name Beatles had the word Beat in it, i really was only ever focused on the cricket nature of the band name.
* this is without a doubt the best episode of the season and one of the best episodes of the entire series. y'know, whenever you talk about time, it's golden, it always works, it never gets old. time loops, time travel, this stuff is endlessly fascinating because there are no easy explanations as to how time travel would exactly work in real life. plus, if you take things far enough, you start getting into immortality and how that butts up against religion and the afterlife. wouldn't actual time travel in fact negate Heaven once and for all? anything that reminds me of Fry from Futurama being his own grandfather gets a gold star in my book.
* Lovecraft, i'm feeling all horror already.
* Jessica McLeod is cool! she answered me one time on youtube :)
* the light worked inside the shack because the owner, a notorious environmentalist, picked out from the store like the greatest energy-saving light bulb of all time...
* ---"are you okay? you look pale."
---"no, i'm okay. it's just my pale goth makeup."
* okay, here's my goth spiel: i'm afraid this episode and the recent South Park Goth Kids episode came too late to match the reality of 2013. there are no more goths anymore, no more emos. i've learned through facebook that everyone is just a nerd now. that being said: i am goth forever, i'm going down with the gloom 'n' doom ship, i can't envision a future me not liking Nine Inch Nails...
* this is obviously impossible to prove, but i did realize the monster with the long black hair was the future self of the goth girl with the long black hair before the show revealed it. now this may not seem like much to my brilliant readers out in the audience here, but you must understand, i'm slow on the uptake. for example, it took me twenty years to realize the name Beatles had the word Beat in it, i really was only ever focused on the cricket nature of the band name.
* this is without a doubt the best episode of the season and one of the best episodes of the entire series. y'know, whenever you talk about time, it's golden, it always works, it never gets old. time loops, time travel, this stuff is endlessly fascinating because there are no easy explanations as to how time travel would exactly work in real life. plus, if you take things far enough, you start getting into immortality and how that butts up against religion and the afterlife. wouldn't actual time travel in fact negate Heaven once and for all? anything that reminds me of Fry from Futurama being his own grandfather gets a gold star in my book.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Degrassi "Who Do You Think You Are" Episode Discussion
learned:
Oh Ms. Oh,
where did you go?
what was it like inside that Hole,
that certain Black Hole?...
* Leo watch: well, you knew this was going to happen, everyone saw this coming a mile away. don't get me wrong, abuse will always be a relevant issue, but it's been done to death in these types of shows. i'm looking at it purely from an artistic perspective. art needs to be different to stand out, y'know? you've got to literally flip the script sometimes or things get stale quickly. if they won't show a healthy or recovered person on tv, how about delving into exactly what Leo's demons really are? why is he so angry? that would help to flesh out the character, to give him a soul, not in any way to excuse his behavior, but to not doom him to cardboard-bad-guy status forever.
* ---"um, i'm pregnant."
---"wait, can oral get you pregnant?"
---"i don't know."
---"can anal get you pregnant?"
---"i don't know. is that what we did?"
---"i don't know."
---"this is not good."
---"yep."
* really, Show? a new episode on Halloween Night? at least make it a Halloween episode. no? *sigh*
* Ms. Oh,
Oh Ms. Oh,
where did you go?
what was it like inside that Hole,
that certain Black Hole?...
* "sure, the music video is cool...if you like porn...i mean, i do happen to like porn...but that's not the point..."
* Leo watch: well, you knew this was going to happen, everyone saw this coming a mile away. don't get me wrong, abuse will always be a relevant issue, but it's been done to death in these types of shows. i'm looking at it purely from an artistic perspective. art needs to be different to stand out, y'know? you've got to literally flip the script sometimes or things get stale quickly. if they won't show a healthy or recovered person on tv, how about delving into exactly what Leo's demons really are? why is he so angry? that would help to flesh out the character, to give him a soul, not in any way to excuse his behavior, but to not doom him to cardboard-bad-guy status forever.
* ---"um, i'm pregnant."
---"wait, can oral get you pregnant?"
---"i don't know."
---"can anal get you pregnant?"
---"i don't know. is that what we did?"
---"i don't know."
---"this is not good."
---"yep."
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Saturday Night Live Edward Norton / Janelle Monae Episode Discussion
learned:
* you can be Method and do SNL, it's just...well, you're gonna be REALLY tired at the end of it.
* the thing is, PSL can stand for so many things...
* okay, this is a good development, more Nasim...even as a clueless cool kid...and a clueless cool virgin...i know, i know, but it's still more Nasim.
* Janelle Monae: while not my scene, i can appreciate this music. at least she's trying to be original, which is not the case with 99% of the bands out there. okay, 98%, i was being too high-and-mighty critic there. oh, and yes: best teeth ever.
* i don't need no books: porn taught me how to gyrate, son!
* most awesomely uncomfortable skit of the night: the slave freed 12 days ago. more of this, SNL, please, more substance, less fluff. you know it's good when the audience takes awkward pauses, not knowing if they should laugh.
* one Nerd, a booger, i ate my boogers like they were Nerds...when i was a kid...yeah, *looks up*, when i was a kid...
* you can be Method and do SNL, it's just...well, you're gonna be REALLY tired at the end of it.
* the thing is, PSL can stand for so many things...
* okay, this is a good development, more Nasim...even as a clueless cool kid...and a clueless cool virgin...i know, i know, but it's still more Nasim.
* Janelle Monae: while not my scene, i can appreciate this music. at least she's trying to be original, which is not the case with 99% of the bands out there. okay, 98%, i was being too high-and-mighty critic there. oh, and yes: best teeth ever.
* i don't need no books: porn taught me how to gyrate, son!
* most awesomely uncomfortable skit of the night: the slave freed 12 days ago. more of this, SNL, please, more substance, less fluff. you know it's good when the audience takes awkward pauses, not knowing if they should laugh.
* one Nerd, a booger, i ate my boogers like they were Nerds...when i was a kid...yeah, *looks up*, when i was a kid...
Saturday, October 26, 2013
The Haunting Hour "Worry Dolls" Episode Discussion
learned:
* is it just me or is Katherine McNamara young in this? it's jarring because i just saw her recently on Kickin' It and other stuff looking, well, like her normal self. guess they filmed this two years ago or something and just got around to broadcasting it to the masses. no worries, though...
* slam dat door in the nanny's face! me? i would have loved to have a nanny when i was a kid growing up an only child. everyone needs a Mary Poppins to bounce his ideas off of, a reinforcement of the beauty of childlike wonderment and a promise to the impressionable youth that life still has a bit of magic in it...
* AM drama: urbandictionary term of the night
* again with the theme of a broken family. this time, the solution is so creepy that it's better just to leave things status-quo. everybody thinks their parents are weird, but what to do when your parents are really actually weird?
* those worry dolls were scary because they were simple. their "mouths" were but straight black lines: expressionless, robotic, zombie-like, only interested in carrying out their ancient duty, damn the consequences.
* i get it, the girl is worried that the worry dolls will come back, so they do. but according to the rules of this episode, i suppose she could continually burn them in the fireplace, worry about them, burn them, and so on. it's a vicious circle. the only way to break the cycle is to stop worrying that you will never break this cycle...
* is it just me or is Katherine McNamara young in this? it's jarring because i just saw her recently on Kickin' It and other stuff looking, well, like her normal self. guess they filmed this two years ago or something and just got around to broadcasting it to the masses. no worries, though...
* slam dat door in the nanny's face! me? i would have loved to have a nanny when i was a kid growing up an only child. everyone needs a Mary Poppins to bounce his ideas off of, a reinforcement of the beauty of childlike wonderment and a promise to the impressionable youth that life still has a bit of magic in it...
* AM drama: urbandictionary term of the night
* again with the theme of a broken family. this time, the solution is so creepy that it's better just to leave things status-quo. everybody thinks their parents are weird, but what to do when your parents are really actually weird?
* those worry dolls were scary because they were simple. their "mouths" were but straight black lines: expressionless, robotic, zombie-like, only interested in carrying out their ancient duty, damn the consequences.
* i get it, the girl is worried that the worry dolls will come back, so they do. but according to the rules of this episode, i suppose she could continually burn them in the fireplace, worry about them, burn them, and so on. it's a vicious circle. the only way to break the cycle is to stop worrying that you will never break this cycle...
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Degrassi "Everything You've Done Wrong" Episode Discussion
learned:
* if i had to list everything i've done wrong, i'd type forever...which might be a good thing...it'd keep me distracted from doing other things i'd have to then put on the list.
* the placebo effect doesn't work. i used to buy a whole mess of expensive weight-gain-powder canisters from GNC. i thought in my head all those shakes were truly adding muscle to my thin frame. they didn't. turns out it might as well have been regular chocolate-milk powder. whole thing was a waste of time and money.
* take it from me, anyone who's reading this: don't lie. don't start with a lie, start with the truth. Shakespeare was right, once you lie, you're doomed, because it's impossible to keep covering the initial lie up. you start to become proficient in lying. you start to lie about everything, even stupid stuff you should never lie about. you end up like me, blogging instead of going outside.
* i'm really liking Chewy as the comic relief, he's doing a great job in that role, the annoyingly oblivious act hasn't worn thin yet. although: talk to me after his requisite wearing of a Chewbacca costume in the Halloween episode to see where things stand...
* "i'm many things, Clare, but actress is not one of them." that line was so meta, it gave me chemo brain.
* i dunno, YOLO is a weak mantra for the post-millennials. it doesn't take reincarnation into account for one thing. also, we Gen-Xer '90s kids were much cooler in our plaid and our "oh well, whatever, nevermind."
* "i'm gonna do this ridiculous downward-dog thing until i can be confident enough to show my butt in the front row..."
* if i had to list everything i've done wrong, i'd type forever...which might be a good thing...it'd keep me distracted from doing other things i'd have to then put on the list.
* the placebo effect doesn't work. i used to buy a whole mess of expensive weight-gain-powder canisters from GNC. i thought in my head all those shakes were truly adding muscle to my thin frame. they didn't. turns out it might as well have been regular chocolate-milk powder. whole thing was a waste of time and money.
* take it from me, anyone who's reading this: don't lie. don't start with a lie, start with the truth. Shakespeare was right, once you lie, you're doomed, because it's impossible to keep covering the initial lie up. you start to become proficient in lying. you start to lie about everything, even stupid stuff you should never lie about. you end up like me, blogging instead of going outside.
* i'm really liking Chewy as the comic relief, he's doing a great job in that role, the annoyingly oblivious act hasn't worn thin yet. although: talk to me after his requisite wearing of a Chewbacca costume in the Halloween episode to see where things stand...
* "i'm many things, Clare, but actress is not one of them." that line was so meta, it gave me chemo brain.
* i dunno, YOLO is a weak mantra for the post-millennials. it doesn't take reincarnation into account for one thing. also, we Gen-Xer '90s kids were much cooler in our plaid and our "oh well, whatever, nevermind."
* "i'm gonna do this ridiculous downward-dog thing until i can be confident enough to show my butt in the front row..."
Law & Order SVU "October Surprise" Episode Discussion
learned:
* for a split second, i thought that was Britney Spears.
* hey, at least it wasn't e-meth. it could have been, SNL and Law & Order are both NBC.
* "murder my vagina". speaking of, can't wait for the Amanda Bynes episode.
* even the most powerful man is putty in the hands of a sexy blonde cop.
* loyalty is good, but a little selfishness keeps you out of jail.
* sexting: it's all fun 'n' games 'til a head gets poked out...
* for a split second, i thought that was Britney Spears.
* hey, at least it wasn't e-meth. it could have been, SNL and Law & Order are both NBC.
* "murder my vagina". speaking of, can't wait for the Amanda Bynes episode.
* even the most powerful man is putty in the hands of a sexy blonde cop.
* loyalty is good, but a little selfishness keeps you out of jail.
* sexting: it's all fun 'n' games 'til a head gets poked out...
Saturday, October 19, 2013
The Haunting Hour "The Funhouse" Episode Discussion
learned:
* divorce/the broken family is a prevalent issue that runs throughout many of the episodes of this series, in every season. i've often wondered if this is what the writers are really trying to get at here, that monsters are monsters, but the real-life pain of divorce/separation is what haunts and scares kids the most.
* ---"wanna have some fun?"
---"what kind of fun are you talking about?"
*pause*
---"no, not that kind of fun..."
* dude, come on, enough with the tines of the fork screeching on the plate, it's worse than nails on a chalkboard. go tear up family photos again, or go do your drugs, i mean, go to the funhouse.
* "where have you been all night?"
it's so sad when the younger sister has to be the mother.
* no, no, that ending was limp, it's gotta have more punch to it. creepy dude running the funhouse just disappears, no questions asked? yeah, how did he know about family dinner night? sure, he could be the father himself disguised...but he also could be your standard stranger stalker. also, not all anger disfigures one's face. anger can be good and fruitful, it can fuel someone to action, to right a wrong, to stand up against injustice. i mean, Trent Reznor turned his rage into the most beautiful art of all time.
* divorce/the broken family is a prevalent issue that runs throughout many of the episodes of this series, in every season. i've often wondered if this is what the writers are really trying to get at here, that monsters are monsters, but the real-life pain of divorce/separation is what haunts and scares kids the most.
* ---"wanna have some fun?"
---"what kind of fun are you talking about?"
*pause*
---"no, not that kind of fun..."
* dude, come on, enough with the tines of the fork screeching on the plate, it's worse than nails on a chalkboard. go tear up family photos again, or go do your drugs, i mean, go to the funhouse.
* "where have you been all night?"
it's so sad when the younger sister has to be the mother.
* no, no, that ending was limp, it's gotta have more punch to it. creepy dude running the funhouse just disappears, no questions asked? yeah, how did he know about family dinner night? sure, he could be the father himself disguised...but he also could be your standard stranger stalker. also, not all anger disfigures one's face. anger can be good and fruitful, it can fuel someone to action, to right a wrong, to stand up against injustice. i mean, Trent Reznor turned his rage into the most beautiful art of all time.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Degrassi "You Oughta Know" Episode Discussion
learned:
* did you know that "You Oughta Know" by Alanis is considered the first emo song?
* Winston, i feel ya, potato chips are the root of all evil. so, like Light, why don't you take this potato chip...and EAT IT!!!
* wait, when girls comment back to you, that doesn't mean they're in love with you? i really really really need to get off youtube and live a real life.
* long-distance relationships...just don't ever work out...especially on teen soap operas...
* swell?
* did you know that "You Oughta Know" by Alanis is considered the first emo song?
* Winston, i feel ya, potato chips are the root of all evil. so, like Light, why don't you take this potato chip...and EAT IT!!!
* wait, when girls comment back to you, that doesn't mean they're in love with you? i really really really need to get off youtube and live a real life.
* long-distance relationships...just don't ever work out...especially on teen soap operas...
* swell?
Law & Order SVU "Wonderland Story" Episode Discussion
learned:
* those that looked weird smiling at the party for Munch: Cassidy, Cragen, Fin...Liv
though it was nice to see the team not dour and sour all the time for once.
* ---"can we have a man-to-man chat?"
---"sure."
---"you know, she's Czech, her blood runs hot..."
---"so you're racist as well as a rapist. you're a racist rapist."
---"chat was a bad idea."
* Fin already hates all of these people, and that one-liner is already a classic.
* "welcome to a wondrous underground world of enchantment. Alice In Wonderland is...
...wait, what? i had nothing to do with that. look, i'm just following orders, i do this because i'm bored out of my skull working all day at that deathly quiet library, i need some excitement in my drab life or i'll disappear. don't tell my mom, please? it's a big step-up for me to go from mom's basement to a water tower..."
* okay, if you'll indulge me for a minute: that last scene of Munch there at the end took me back to simpler times when i was at college. i was sitting in the middle of a mostly-abandoned auditorium in my drama class, just a few other students there who decided to wake up at 10AM, their voices pierced the hollow cavern of a classroom. as the teacher('s assistant) taught acting theory while putting her feet up on stage, i dreamed of when this class would end and i would have the rest of the night off to prepare for a special Homicide two-hour movie i couldn't wait to get to and watch. good times, good times. i treasure those good, comforting memories, those times when i didn't have a care in the world, when tv was my only concern, it helps to combat the sorrow when i think of where i am now...
though it was nice to see the team not dour and sour all the time for once.
* ---"can we have a man-to-man chat?"
---"sure."
---"you know, she's Czech, her blood runs hot..."
---"so you're racist as well as a rapist. you're a racist rapist."
---"chat was a bad idea."
* Fin already hates all of these people, and that one-liner is already a classic.
* "welcome to a wondrous underground world of enchantment. Alice In Wonderland is...
...wait, what? i had nothing to do with that. look, i'm just following orders, i do this because i'm bored out of my skull working all day at that deathly quiet library, i need some excitement in my drab life or i'll disappear. don't tell my mom, please? it's a big step-up for me to go from mom's basement to a water tower..."
* okay, if you'll indulge me for a minute: that last scene of Munch there at the end took me back to simpler times when i was at college. i was sitting in the middle of a mostly-abandoned auditorium in my drama class, just a few other students there who decided to wake up at 10AM, their voices pierced the hollow cavern of a classroom. as the teacher('s assistant) taught acting theory while putting her feet up on stage, i dreamed of when this class would end and i would have the rest of the night off to prepare for a special Homicide two-hour movie i couldn't wait to get to and watch. good times, good times. i treasure those good, comforting memories, those times when i didn't have a care in the world, when tv was my only concern, it helps to combat the sorrow when i think of where i am now...
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Saturday Night Live Bruce Willis / Katy Perry Episode Discussion
learned:
* is there a 5-Hour Energy for wannabe actors with their own youtube channel? asking for a "friend".
* boy dance party: finally, some signs of life tonight. i dance like that, but alone in my room. if i don't shake my junk, who will?
* Weekend Update: loved Cecily's making the McDuh arches sign with her fingers :)
* Weekend Update: okay, assuming that guy's tats are real and not painted on just for the skit, this was my favorite of the night. i can heartily relate, i've got some permanent ink that isn't bad, but wasn't quite how i'd envisioned them in my mind looking on my body. i was this close---"Closer"---to getting that NIN one...but hey, i'll always love Nine Inch Nails ;)
* Centauri Vodka: i mean, what? how?...why?...how did this get green-lit?...how did this make the final cut?...it was so bad, it was...bad.
* Katy Perry: she gave me a seizure...for two reasons.
* is there a 5-Hour Energy for wannabe actors with their own youtube channel? asking for a "friend".
* boy dance party: finally, some signs of life tonight. i dance like that, but alone in my room. if i don't shake my junk, who will?
* Weekend Update: loved Cecily's making the McDuh arches sign with her fingers :)
* Weekend Update: okay, assuming that guy's tats are real and not painted on just for the skit, this was my favorite of the night. i can heartily relate, i've got some permanent ink that isn't bad, but wasn't quite how i'd envisioned them in my mind looking on my body. i was this close---"Closer"---to getting that NIN one...but hey, i'll always love Nine Inch Nails ;)
* Centauri Vodka: i mean, what? how?...why?...how did this get green-lit?...how did this make the final cut?...it was so bad, it was...bad.
* Katy Perry: she gave me a seizure...for two reasons.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
The Haunting Hour "Detention" Episode Discussion
learned:
* yep, all the school tropes are present and accounted for at the start: queen bee, jock, outcast, and nerd...oh, and burnt-out teacher. are there well-rounded characters at a fictional school anymore? stay tuned...
* this is so true, this is something i've always thought: once you graduate, you still never leave high school. it's absolutely accurate, college and the real work-and-family world are simply bigger high-school models. all of your insecurities and habits in high school form an identity that hardens in those four years and remains with you the rest of your life, whether or not you think you're "not that person anymore". you never overcome the trauma of high school :(
* the Twilight Zone line is apt. at least they acknowledge the all-time master everyone copies from relentlessly with this type of show.
* speaking of, anyone reading this, check out The Outer Limits episode "Abduction"---the '90s series, not the '60s one. it's very similar with the high-school tropes and the sci-fi and such. "Abduction" was the first modern Outer Limits episode i watched and i was hooked on that series afterwards, i had to go back and watch every single episode, which i eventually did. you will, too, i promise, it's worth it.
* okay, so there is a little melting of tropes: the outcast likes the jock('s jokes), the jock really wants to be a comedian, the queen bee would rather be the outcast than carry the burden of her queen-sized pressure, and of course the nerd/teacher is a demon or angel or something. sweet ending. unfortunately, in real life, things mostly don't work out this well at school, that's what's really scary. real life is scarier than any show...
* yep, all the school tropes are present and accounted for at the start: queen bee, jock, outcast, and nerd...oh, and burnt-out teacher. are there well-rounded characters at a fictional school anymore? stay tuned...
* this is so true, this is something i've always thought: once you graduate, you still never leave high school. it's absolutely accurate, college and the real work-and-family world are simply bigger high-school models. all of your insecurities and habits in high school form an identity that hardens in those four years and remains with you the rest of your life, whether or not you think you're "not that person anymore". you never overcome the trauma of high school :(
* the Twilight Zone line is apt. at least they acknowledge the all-time master everyone copies from relentlessly with this type of show.
* speaking of, anyone reading this, check out The Outer Limits episode "Abduction"---the '90s series, not the '60s one. it's very similar with the high-school tropes and the sci-fi and such. "Abduction" was the first modern Outer Limits episode i watched and i was hooked on that series afterwards, i had to go back and watch every single episode, which i eventually did. you will, too, i promise, it's worth it.
* okay, so there is a little melting of tropes: the outcast likes the jock('s jokes), the jock really wants to be a comedian, the queen bee would rather be the outcast than carry the burden of her queen-sized pressure, and of course the nerd/teacher is a demon or angel or something. sweet ending. unfortunately, in real life, things mostly don't work out this well at school, that's what's really scary. real life is scarier than any show...
The Haunting Hour "Seance" Episode Discussion
i love this show, i really do. it takes me back to when shows were...well, good. it's a nostalgia arrow's path to shows like Goosebumps and Are You Afraid of the Dark?, back when characters were interesting, stories were well-plotted, and you just cared about tv, you couldn't wait to come home, sink your teeth into some pizza, and become immersed in a scare. plus, you got to see future Hollywood stars when they were young, before they were famous, that's always a treat. man, even the pizza tasted better during the '90s...
learned:
* okay, i normally side with the little guy, the one being persecuted, but that little sister is really, truly annoying at the start of this.
* nothing good ever ever happens at a saw mill...
* it's not blood, it's ketchup, but its rancid, expired ketchup, so...yeah, it was smart either way not to test it.
* that is some scary....................................................hair.
* hey, at least the guy with the axe has a sense of humor.
learned:
* okay, i normally side with the little guy, the one being persecuted, but that little sister is really, truly annoying at the start of this.
* nothing good ever ever happens at a saw mill...
* it's not blood, it's ketchup, but its rancid, expired ketchup, so...yeah, it was smart either way not to test it.
* that is some scary....................................................hair.
* hey, at least the guy with the axe has a sense of humor.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Degrassi "You Got Me" Episode Discussion
learned:
* oh, Degrassi, you got me, you got me, *clutches chest in over-the-top, over-dramatic death sequence*.
* whoa, Zig...i mean...he's a '50s street tough now.
* life is about two things: sex and death. for men, life is about one thing: sex. notice Drew's hallucination: sure, the hallucination is about the death of Adam, but really, Drew is mostly being affected by the person delivering that message: Clare, his forbidden fruit.
* side effects of sleeping pills: lost memory, oversleeping, and late-night cell-phone sexy stuff
* Leo check: still in check, flashes of anger, but mostly flashdancing
* the look of the dance, combined with all the film promos, got me in the mood to see Carrie again...the original classic, the good one.
* oh, Degrassi, you got me, you got me, *clutches chest in over-the-top, over-dramatic death sequence*.
* whoa, Zig...i mean...he's a '50s street tough now.
* life is about two things: sex and death. for men, life is about one thing: sex. notice Drew's hallucination: sure, the hallucination is about the death of Adam, but really, Drew is mostly being affected by the person delivering that message: Clare, his forbidden fruit.
* side effects of sleeping pills: lost memory, oversleeping, and late-night cell-phone sexy stuff
* Leo check: still in check, flashes of anger, but mostly flashdancing
* the look of the dance, combined with all the film promos, got me in the mood to see Carrie again...the original classic, the good one.
Law & Order SVU "Internal Affairs" Episode Discussion
learned:
* Show, please don't turn this nice Liv/shrink connection they have going here into something tawdry down the line. don't have the shrink be secretly lusting after Liv or something...................the shrink is gonna be revealed as a creep, huh?
* i guess i'm in the minority here, but Mayhem's (Cassidy's) acting is just...off. i don't know if this is from the actor or the way the character is written, but i feel that he should go for it more. i just get the sense every time he's onscreen that he just doesn't believe in either himself or the character, he's holding back, not going for broke with his words or his actions, not feeling it, ya feel me? there's something artificial about the whole thing.
* sex is like pizza: even when it's bad or "just for work", it's still good.
* Nadia Dajani has an excuse for turning crazy: she was the ex-wife of Jon on Delocated.
* Liv talking to Nadia's character about married men ultimately not leaving their wives for their mistresses: see? i keep telling you, it all comes back to Stabler, he's like an eternal ghost in the room as this show churns ahead, you will never exorcise him despite his absence, his presence sticks to the walls.
* NO, MUNCH, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* Show, please don't turn this nice Liv/shrink connection they have going here into something tawdry down the line. don't have the shrink be secretly lusting after Liv or something...................the shrink is gonna be revealed as a creep, huh?
* i guess i'm in the minority here, but Mayhem's (Cassidy's) acting is just...off. i don't know if this is from the actor or the way the character is written, but i feel that he should go for it more. i just get the sense every time he's onscreen that he just doesn't believe in either himself or the character, he's holding back, not going for broke with his words or his actions, not feeling it, ya feel me? there's something artificial about the whole thing.
* sex is like pizza: even when it's bad or "just for work", it's still good.
* Nadia Dajani has an excuse for turning crazy: she was the ex-wife of Jon on Delocated.
* Liv talking to Nadia's character about married men ultimately not leaving their wives for their mistresses: see? i keep telling you, it all comes back to Stabler, he's like an eternal ghost in the room as this show churns ahead, you will never exorcise him despite his absence, his presence sticks to the walls.
* NO, MUNCH, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Saturday Night Live Miley Cyrus Episode Discussion
learned:
* oh, so that's where the whole tongue thing comes from, from Chuck E Cheese on her suit...or is it the other way around?
* poor Hannah Montana :(
* out of all the cast members that could have been in the naked "Wrecking Ball" skit...
* Miley as the musical guest: after the "big butts" lyric, i was like, okay, yeah, this is cool, i'm buyin' into this.
* Mornin' Miami: the best skit of the night for me, funny and just long enough without it becoming repetitive and tedious. which of course now means that this successful skit will be run into the ground Californians-style.
* the power of friendship > sex with Miley Cyrus
* oh, so that's where the whole tongue thing comes from, from Chuck E Cheese on her suit...or is it the other way around?
* poor Hannah Montana :(
* out of all the cast members that could have been in the naked "Wrecking Ball" skit...
* Miley as the musical guest: after the "big butts" lyric, i was like, okay, yeah, this is cool, i'm buyin' into this.
* Mornin' Miami: the best skit of the night for me, funny and just long enough without it becoming repetitive and tedious. which of course now means that this successful skit will be run into the ground Californians-style.
* the power of friendship > sex with Miley Cyrus
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