Degrassi "Thunderstruck" Episode Discussion

learned:

* confession time: AC/DC were one of those bands I never got when I was young. all of my friends raved about them, so I finally listened to a sample tape, and......nothing. they've never done anything for me, they haven't stirred my soul and burst my heart the way Nirvana, NIN, and the Pumpkins do. I can appreciate that they are historic, but, y'know, that's about it. I mean, I like shorts and all.....well I did when I was younger, I only wear pants now.

* Chewy: so what, you're gay now? bi?
Miles: I'm just a dude having fun, riding a hedonistic wave of uncertain pleasure, puddle-jumping like Johnny Manziel, seeking my next high. Bieber is my BFF.
Chewy: that's the problem, man, you hurt everyone you love, and I thought I was your BFF.
Miles: hey Chewy, you're dead.
Miles shoots Chewy.
Miles: Degrassi just got real again, motherfuckers!

* Zoe: strip.
Maya: so you can ruin my life online again, you bitch?!
Zoe: no, so you won't catch cold. and honestly I want to compare boobs.
Maya: you stole my boyfriend, you bitch.
Zoe: um, no, you stole my boyfriend.
Maya: that's true. so, know any '80s theme songs?
Zoe: no, why would I?

* Eli: I promise, you breaking up with me freed me, I could walk the streets of New York alone, getting lonelier and lonelier.
Clare: but you fucked Lenore, right? I mean, her name is Lenore!
Eli: the goth side of me was tempted, but she was no Eclare. nothing will ever be as epic as Eclare: the Twilight of it, the hearse, the all-time opposites-attract of it, that one time I went crazy...
Clare: I'm not your soul mate, Eli, Paint Girl is.
Eli: I know, right? where the hell did she go? do you want to eat my hot dog?
Clare: what?
later, in Eli's dorm room:
Eli: don't worry, we'll sleep in the same bed but head-to-feet.
Clare: our body parts are aligned perfectly for coitus.

* Becky: did you fart?
Drew: depends, is this a comedy or a drama?
Becky: drama.
Drew: then no, it's deadly methane gas.
Drew breaks the wheel trying to turn it.
Drew: now it's a comedy.

* college-admissions lady: Clare, you are an IMPRESSIVE young woman. I can tell you have BIG plans. you're ready to get out there into the world and MILK it for all it's worth.
Clare: stop staring at my tits!

* Clare on the phone:
Clare: hello? this is she. am I okay? oh good, that's a relief.
Clare hangs up the phone.

Degrassi "Believe, Part 2" Episode Discussion

learned:

* personally, I don't believe in life after love.

* Becky: is that a bear? a woodsman? a witch?
Drew: I'm confused, which color bear do you lie down in front of?
Becky: Drew! save us and I'm yours.
Drew: right...shoot the woodsman, eat the witch's apple, pour honey all over your naked body, got it.
Becky: don't bears love honey?
Drew: that's only in cartoons.
Becky: oh look, it was just my mother.......
Becky runs away.

* Zoe starts to sing out loud in front of the class.
Perino: Zoe, this isn't the Buffy musical episode yet. wait for your Vegas special.

* Chewy: you want me to perjure myself on the stand?
Miles: I don't know what that word means, but you have to lie!
Chewy: why?
Miles: it's for young love, that's the most important thing in the world, parents just don't understand.
Chewy: that makes sense. prison doesn't seem so bad now. Will Smith has a way of putting things in perspective.

* Zoe: I'm going to kill myself.
Zig: but there's no coming back from that. it gets better. give me the pills.
Zoe: sweet.
Zig: I know I am.
Zoe: no, I meant the candy. these aren't pills, they're large white mints. and what I meant was that the mints are to die for.
Zig: we're gonna make a cute couple. what's our ship name?
Zoe: either Zivas or Zzig or Zzoe or Zovak.
Zig: how about just zzzzzzzzzzzzz?
Zoe: huh? did you say something? I was dozing off.

* Tristan: want me to tweet out this selfie of you alone in the courtroom?
Zoe: no. and I'm not alone, you're here. and it's not a selfie, you took it.
Tristan: it's already trending.
Zoe: I told you not to tweet it!
Tristan: you now have more followers than Gaga.
Zoe jumps up into the air.
Zoe: yeah, bitch! how does THAT taste, you Madonna wannabe?!

Degrassi "Believe, Part 1" Episode Discussion

learned:

* Becky: are you telling me to lie?
female lawyer: not if I want to be disbarred.
Becky: so I repeat, are you telling me to lie?
female lawyer: yes, lie. I hate being a lawyer, that was my mother's dream, I wanted to be an artist.
Becky's mom: yes, Becky, lie.

* Perino: can anyone tell me what this object is?
Becky: what about all the drama happening outside, Mr. Perino?
Perino: wrong answer, it's called a compass. drama won't get you into college.
Becky: didn't Saved By The Bell have College Years?

* Maya: Zig, I hate to admit it to myself, but somehow I still like Miles.
Zig: oh Maya, oh sweet sweet Maya, it is possible to resist you, you know.
Maya walks away...
Zig: but not dat ass, damn!

* Vince: time for you to continue doing jobs.
Zig: I don't sell anymore, fam, I cook.
Vince: meth?
Zig: what? no! onions and stuff.
Vince: you must have onions if you think it would be that easy to quit the life. you should have gone to Florida.
Zig: oh yeah? what's in Florida?
Vince: like bath salts and stuff.

* Becky: declination, ever heard of it?
Drew: actually no, I'm a dumb jock, my brother always said so.
Becky: great! I hadn't thought about Adam's tragic death in ages, thanks a lot!
Drew: I'm only on this show to hook up with literally every girl at Degrassi. you're next.

Degrassi "Out of My Head" Episode Discussion

learned:

* Tristan: why is there a strange woman taking notes in the room with us?
Simpson: she's the director of this episode. did that creepy teacher touch you?
Tristan: yes. i liked it.
Simpson: did he make you do things? cum in mouth? anal?
Tristan: I'm not talking.
Simpson: spit roast? any form of sanchez?

* Tristan: why is your dress a whole bunch of tampons?
Zoe: Imogen said it'd be like that cool thing TLC did with condoms, but with tampons.
Tristan: what's TLC?
Zoe: a tv channel.

* Frankie: why'd you call me a monster, bitch?
Chewy: I didn't, bitch, I called you Frankenstein, it's a play on your name. what do you think of that, bitch?
Frankie: yeah? how'd you like it if I called you Chewbacca, bitch?
Chewy: I'd growl cos that is who I am in the sack, that's why I'm your bae.
Frankie: fuck, you pretty dangerous for a dork.
Chewy: I'm the dork with the ding-dong dick that's gonna wreck dat ass tonite.

* Jack: wait, this whole mess was cos you thought I meant "nice" to mean "not nice."
Imogen: yep.
Jack: nice.
Imogen: so what did you mean just there?
Jack: my sweet lesbian lover, have you ever heard of the classic sitcom misunderstanding?
Imogen shakes her head.
Jack: I'll lend you some of my Three's Company DVDs.

* Tristan: I hate you, you slut!
Maya: whoa, snitch I can understand, but slut?
Tristan: I can see your entire belly. the '80s called, they want that shirt back.
Maya: ah, the '80s, back when this show still mattered.
Tristan: you're dead to me.
Maya: you'll thank me later. and I'm not a slut. belly, yes, belly-button ring, not yet.
Tristan: what about Cam, Miles, Zig, and every other boy at this school?
Maya: I thought you weren't talking to me. anyway, I can't help it if they like me. it's a moot point, Drew is my future husband.

Degrassi "Hypnotize" Episode Discussion

learned:

* Frankie: Mom, I'm ugly.
Mom: no, honey, you're hot, and I'm not just saying that cos I'm your mom. take a look around our home and the Degrassi school and the city and its surrounding suburbs and our universe in general, have you noticed something? every single person you meet is a babe, there's not a scary-looking runt in the entire global litter. it's very unsettling.

* Tristan (lip-synching): we are Degrassi,
we go there.
well, we used to,
back in the '80s
and the first wave of this New Generation,
but now we're just a teen soap for girls,
by the way, when did this show become just for girls?
it was once a good high-school drama for all.
Degrassi, once great, how the mighty have fallen.
Skins UK, come back, every teenager is calling.

* Tristan: I'm mature, but this is still creepy.
Mr. Yates: would it help if I replaced the absinthe with orange juice?

* black girl: everyone wants to bed Jack, she's smoking! literally.
Imogen: pot is bad, but I want a girlfriend badder.
Jack: worse. you're cute and you're dressed as an indie Minnie Mouse so I'll let that one slide. was it worth it now that I'm yours?
Imogen: no. all I crave now are nachos. I hate nachos.

* Jack: open your mouth.
Imogen: you sound exactly like a guy I used to fuck.
Jack: I'm gonna fill your mouth with smoke. it's like the other stuff except less gross and less healthy.