learned:
* do I have to keep doing these?
* no, seriously, I mean if I got paid that'd be one thing...AV Club TV Club, call me.
* Chris Pratt, Chris Pratt, whatcha think about that?
* Anna Faris lets us into their bedroom.
* Ariana Grande was not doing She-Ra, she was doing Cat Valentine. I can't hate on her second song, though, that groovy beat was grooving.
* MORE LESLIE JONES!
* I'd go down on a guy for eternal life in Heaven. (it's the reverse of selling your soul to Satan.)
* I usually think adding raunchy sex to something makes it better, but the He-Man skit and video-game-tester skit have proven me wrong.
* if Marvel owned Star Wars: Darth Hulk, Tony Stark rejects the Force cos he only believes in science, and Leia ditches the slave-girl bra for a more empowering tight black leather catsuit from Black Widow.
* no, no, no, Cecily Strong as the one and only Weekend Update anchor. replace Kenan with Che, and have Jost be the Cute Guy At The Party Who's Just There. that wasn't difficult, was it?
* goodnight, Magical Unique Voice Never To Be Duplicated Again.
NOTES FROM MY NETHER / only the finest programs of television / your host this evening is early and wears no robe, 83optics on youtube but you know him better as THE LATE PHOENIX / come and mull over the monastery mulled wine, see what's on / N O T E S
Monday, September 29, 2014
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Law & Order SVU "Girls Disappeared" Episode Discussion
learned:
* do i have to keep doing this?
* no, really, i mean what's the point? what's the point of this show continuing?
* Carisi: i'm the new kid on the block, you can tell from my heavy heavy New York accent.
Liv: i wanted an empath.
Carisi: i fucked Counselor Troi once, does that count?
Liv: why have you been fired 4 times?
Carisi: they were all jealous Star Trek nerds. and they couldn't understand me what with my heavy heavy New York accent.
* Carisi: listen, baby, you're a whore! we're trying to save your life here! it's either life---us---or death--- going back to your organizaton. it seems pretty black and white. choose. choose now!
girl: that's racist. i'm not a whore. i mean i am, but...
Liv: Carisi, what the fuck was that in there?
Carisi: don't worry, boss, i got this, i have a degree in psychology i printed up from the internet.
* Liv: where's my baby?
babysitter: i thought we'd get some fresh air outside. we're outside.
Liv: outside? are you crazy? from now on, my kid is to stay inside, playing video games forever.
* Amaro: so, we got a deal?
thug: sure, sure.
Amaro: let me have your pizza slice there to seal the deal........ew! this tastes like shit! did you spike this, you traitor?!
thug: no, it's just New York pizza, it tastes like cardboard.
* Liv: hey Carisi, back there when you were pretending to solicit the prostitute, you were scarily realistic wanting the rough sex.
Carisi: i wasn't acting back there, boss.
Liv: first thing when we get back, you're fired. and i'm placing a call to Counselor Troi.
* do i have to keep doing this?
* no, really, i mean what's the point? what's the point of this show continuing?
* Carisi: i'm the new kid on the block, you can tell from my heavy heavy New York accent.
Liv: i wanted an empath.
Carisi: i fucked Counselor Troi once, does that count?
Liv: why have you been fired 4 times?
Carisi: they were all jealous Star Trek nerds. and they couldn't understand me what with my heavy heavy New York accent.
* Carisi: listen, baby, you're a whore! we're trying to save your life here! it's either life---us---or death--- going back to your organizaton. it seems pretty black and white. choose. choose now!
girl: that's racist. i'm not a whore. i mean i am, but...
Liv: Carisi, what the fuck was that in there?
Carisi: don't worry, boss, i got this, i have a degree in psychology i printed up from the internet.
* Liv: where's my baby?
babysitter: i thought we'd get some fresh air outside. we're outside.
Liv: outside? are you crazy? from now on, my kid is to stay inside, playing video games forever.
* Amaro: so, we got a deal?
thug: sure, sure.
Amaro: let me have your pizza slice there to seal the deal........ew! this tastes like shit! did you spike this, you traitor?!
thug: no, it's just New York pizza, it tastes like cardboard.
* Liv: hey Carisi, back there when you were pretending to solicit the prostitute, you were scarily realistic wanting the rough sex.
Carisi: i wasn't acting back there, boss.
Liv: first thing when we get back, you're fired. and i'm placing a call to Counselor Troi.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)