The Venture Bros. "The Saphrax Protocol"

notes:

* Sirena: Hank, baby...i still love you...i've always loved you.......it's just............well............i have a brother complex......

* okay, so the sets of brothers for the series finale are as follows:
Rusty and the Monarch
Dean and Hank
Watch and Ware
The Monarch and Gary
Gary and his first butterfly partner when Gary wasn't so full of himself yet and just a number
Sheila and Kimberly and a joint butterfly-vibrator
Saphrax and Alatheus

* soldiers breaking in: wait, we're supposed to be teleporting, not cloning!

* me: Brock, baby, this brutal violence is unbecoming for the show. The Venture Bros. should be fun and whimsical and wordplay-wimey and script-saturating and joke-agander and intellectually-stimulating and you have to read your reference manual for a good 30 minutes after. here, come aboard the flying spaceship in the sky where the villains are ACTUALLY cosplaying like they're supposed to.

* The Monarch: wait, so do i have to dress up to do this play?
Red Mantle: yes, this is a very serious production of USC college theatre.
The Monarch: like i wear the clothes over my Monarch costume?

* Gary raises his hand.
Red Mantle: yes?
Gary: i get to do the scene where Saphrax beds Sheila. Sheila Saphrax sex scene, it's all very sibilant. is it Red Mantle as in the stage or Mantel as in hot lava?
Red Mantle: both, whichever.

* Watch: OMG Rusty is our boss's brother!
Ward: he's not the boss of me.
Watch: i wish we had had this scantron-reader way back in Season 1. do you think Doc and Jackson always knew they were brothers even back then?
Ward: had to. i wish we didn't have scantron tests when i went to college. i have a degree but it's from USC Theatre so i dunno. that's like the equivalent of starring in one American Pie: The Cartoon commercial along Hollywood Blvd.. this was during the 2000 Presidential Recount in Florida, chads were the big thing, the professors all thought i was dumber than i really was cos they couldn't read my chads.

* Hank: so being my subconscious evil-villain Mexican conquistador alter-ego is my true form? that can't be good.
Action Man: i was the bear. and i'm your spirit guide through Purgatory, Dante.
Hank: i'm fine with you as my soul mate. i don't want to talk about Sirena, she's not here. what's the better scifi masterpiece, Barbarella or The Empire Strikes Back?
Action Man: if you're a Dem, Barbarella, Repub, ESB.

* Action Man: you must chosoe correctly on you path to escape this place.
Hank: i LOVE Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Books! dad had them implanted in my brain-bed since i first slept!
Action Man: do you betray your brother or slice open Yoda and crawl inside him? both are equally hard.

* Hank: you know my mother!!!? what's her name!!!?
Action Man: Stormy St. Clair.
Hank: oh come on! that's obviously her porn name! what's her real name?!
Action Man: the restraining order prevents me from revealing.
Hank: did she have us before or after the restraining order?

* Hank: i want to betray brothers-in-arms and become evil smoothly like Lando.
Action Man: only black guys get to be that cool. have you ever had a Colt 45?
Hank: i don't remember.

* clerk: what are you doing here, Hatred?
Hatred: i'm literally taking up space and time. you look familiar, who are you?
clerk: Awkwafina. we all look the same.
Hatred: yeah that's your porn star name but what's your real name?
Awkwafina: i'm a female Asian rapper, that's all you need to know. i hosted SNL and i'm not Lucy Liu.

* hey, to the redditor who wanted to see Phineas Phage again, here you go! it's been almost as long as we've seen Phineas or Ferb.

* Hank: the Force or Matmos?
Action Man: the Force (R), Matmos (D).
Phage: go jump in a lake, kid.
Hank obliges.
Phage: WAIT you forgot your meds!
Hank: intentionally. i want to write a bestseller young-adult-fiction book about terminal illness for teenage girls so i went off them and let's see what happens.

* Dean: i was a crap brother. i ate your cereal that one time...and i ate your girlfriend's cereal.
Hank: i'm in a coma but can you put all that in a pdf file? it's too long. i can still hear you.
Dean: this is really disappointing the fans right now, they thought you'd turn and they don't want to give me the opportunity to have them hear me babble on about brotherly bond and love and forgiveness to quell the situation with mollifying mawkishness.
Hank: okay, Dean, i'll forgive you IF you get Sirena back for me.
Dean: that's the thing, Sirena's not here...she's not here for some reason...

* Dean: i liked that 98 Degrees song...
Hank: you only liked that song out of guilt when that boyband guy died of cancer...

* Awkwafina: see he's gone. "gone". i'm trying to make a joke.

* Hank: you'll never see me again, brother, but i can see you. i live now in the shadows and ice and snow and stuff. and wind. i must betray my family to get stronger.
Dean: that's dark, bro. as in Darkman. i wish you'd have gone with the Incredible Hulk sad music by the side of the road with the hitchhiker thumb instead. like The Galaxy.
Hank: i think i brought the wrong mask for my dramatic-reveal episode tag...

* Gary: i'm Level 10!!!
Sheila: that's a 01, 01, clerical error clerical error! clerical error like the Nixon Tapes.

* The Monarch: *hangdog* i was given the chance to shiv my brother. but i couldn't go through with it. you know i never realized how much Rusty and i look alike. look at our faces, it's the same face. that just shows how great my Monarch cosplay was that the audience never noticed all these years.
Rusty: and my glasses helped to hide it, too.

* Red Mantle: haha, it was all a test! you see me laughing? i never laugh.
The Monarch: phew!
Red Mantle: now hand in your scantron.
The Monarch: scantron? do you take red hands instead?

* The Monarch: so Sheila baby, you and Kimberly, huh? you kept it a secret.
Sheila: you've never called me a name, any name, you've never addressed me by anything other than baby.
The Monarch: your name's too long to name.
Sheila: i don't want to talk about her......she's not here, not here in this episode.......we never find out how Kim's story ends with that robot wizard of hers that looks like if French from Hot Streets got Rick and Morty money............hoping it'll be addressed next season..............in three years...........Rick and Morty time.............