Power Rangers Super Ninja Steel "Monster Mix-Up"

notes:

* Levi: no, no, not this again, i went through this last time, can i be exempt?
Chip Lynne: if I have to slave away all night in the editing bay, YOU do, too!
Levi: people have actually forgotten what my speaking voice sounds like.
Chip Lynne: at least everyone has forgotten your singing voice!

* i saw that male monster sashay there, i see you, Power Rangers, one big happy Gaga family.

* Redbot: so this is a recap episode, right? i can start reading my novel now, right?
Chip: sure, do what you want.
Redbot: no i mean in front of the camera. it just came out in paperback...BEFORE Chris Matthews's book did!

* Chip: ALL Halloween episodes of your favorite shows MUST be cherished. remember how the holiday episodes were always the best episodes?
Hayley: those were cartoons tho.

* Preston: RAWRRRR. i'm a caveman like my brother! not a predator like the T Rex.
Sarah: Man turned into the worst predator of them all. whoa, Preston! you have an impressive bare hairless chest there for a nerd. i of course am a Female Ghostbuster. but unlike them, i fill into this chocolate-chip-cookie-colored suit like a drink from a tall drink of water. who are you, Calvin?
Calvin: one of the Fire superheroes who are either Marvel or DC and good-looking and young boy with a brood.
Hayley: playing against type, i'm a hippie queen who wants some lean.
Sarah: nobody cares about boys, especially brothers.

* Dracula: i'm supposed to be here in this, it says so in the description in the online guide.
Calvin: maybe you're more of a dark brooding teenager-boy with attitude vampire like me.

* Monsters: we're too lazy to fight, instead we've employed the laziest writing device there is: swapping!
Sarah: at least make it classy like with the keys in the '70s.

* Hayley: why do i have Mick-Jagger-lips on my head?
Sarah: you really don't want to know.

* Chip: yeah so this is complicated. i have to get actors to fill the monster suits who move their bodies empathetically, and the Ranger actors have to pretend to be evil. Rangers, let me see those facial expressions when you learned you would not be getting acting coaches this season. that's it! that's it. looks of disgust and mad eyes.

* Monsters: this tv show is ridiculous.
Chip: hey.
Monsters: we meant Odius's tv show.
Chip: yeah, reality is dead. again.

* Mick: whoa! monsters in the birdhouse repeat monsters in the birdhouse!
Sarah: it's us, Mick, honest!
Mick: tell me something only Sarah would know about me.
Sarah: 1 inch.
Mick: that's my favorite wrench, yes.

* Preston: so we're here in court.............i don't want this to get awkward so close to the election but...........let's have this Hearing be fairer than that last hearing. near-beer only, kids are watching us adults behave.
Chip: and act.

* Court Witch: hello, Ranger stranger, my name is Corwitch! *strokes the underbelly of Preston's chin*
Preston: OH BABY!!!
Corwitch: i'm not your Daddy's Wicked Witch of the West. underneath this green Wicked makeup i'm sure to be some babe on a New Zealand soap opera.

* Monsters Gallery: everyone knows that story! it was on the Foxatron News Channel website!

* pumpkins judges: enough with your lies! we treat justice like a carnival game, whoever's the strongest wins! 10 strikes and you're out, it's literally impossible for a govermment official to break the law!
Hayley: as a black woman i thank you for your leniency. when i get outta these chains and take over the Galaxy and become Queen of my own Beyhive in the Sky imma eat so much pumpkin pie you'll take one look at my belly and think i'm preggers again!

* jack o'judge: does anyone have any garlic?
Corwitch: no, that's just my smelly vagina. a special client ordered it to be that way, complete with sand stuck in there for foreplay.
jack: yes, i'm that client, hence my name. if it's not replete, i can't repeat.

* pumpkins: how DARE you think our barbershop-quartet music STINKS like the insides of us do!
Levi: i've heard better harmonizing at the outside of a church. from gators. the church was sinking into the swamp.
Brody: how can you be in a barbershop quartet? you go to the barbershop? you have no hair.
pumpkins: we once had heads but they were cut off for some ghastly deeds involving carving and deseeding us which is our source of life energy. you could say we each got CLOSE SHAVES.
*the pumpkins force everyone in court to laugh for five minutes*

* Corwitch: we're not gonna give a known criminal from the known galaxy a wand.
Preston: that's not a wand, that's your vibrating wand.

* Mick: okay here's the plan: i'm a shapeshifter...
Sarah: you are?
Mick:...sure. i'll pretend to be that Boisterous Bunch member who's on the loose. the REAL member on the loose is my jock when i'm around Sarah but also i'll let that member loose but he'll be easy to spot afterwards cos he's gone fishin' and will have the fishing net on his head.

* pumpkin-proceedings parliamentarians: we were lied to this whole time! witch, gimme your vibrating wand, we need a break. there's an emergency in the Outer Quadrant: Billy is working on a new album and it sounds exactly like his old stuff...

* mummy cops: we're cops and we look like mummies so that's double the scary.
Hayley: fuck...
mummy cops: hold up. we're like representations of the Nanny State so it's gentle, we're your mommies.

* Rangers: aren't we a little old to be trick-or-treating? in costumes?
Sarah: kid costumes yes. and what's with the orange plastic pumpkin cans? i got better cans. i mean where are our cool empty-pillowcase sacks for candy bags?
Chip: the budget for this was negative. thank god for Party City.
Preston: so we're just trick-or-treating now, huh? loitering on school grounds while school is going down. on campus wandering. there are classes taking place in there as we speak you know. Halloween fell on a weekday this year.
Hayley: the Teacher wore her Elvira costume, we were finally gonna see her tits, but no one came to school today. sad face.
Sarah: wanna trade bracelets, girl?
Hayley: wait, are those those rainbow-colored bracelets for after-the-rave parties? please tell me you didn't get the green one.
Sarah: i'm cool, the baby is fine.
Hayley: so you were 18, right?
Chip: i checked.

* Victor: why were we stuck in detention all episode!? it's Halloween, dammit, i want to see all the street Sailor Moon outfits!!!
Monty: it's still a working day, Victor. schoolday for the rest of us, school is still going on, class is in session. didn't you get sick off chocolate last year?
Victor: that wasn't chocolate. we were gonna debut our costumes for the school! i was gonna be J Lo and you were gonna be my man Alex Rodriguez without a mirror for coke!
Monty: oh no, i hear the Teacher coming this way! i can hear her footsteps from her nine-inch heels! RUN!!!
*Victor and Monty get outta school and Dodge without being seen*