Power Rangers Super Ninja Steel "Happy To Be Me"

notes:

* sounds like a McDonald's jingle, which isn't a bad thing

* Tynamon: i'm better than you!
Madame Odius: yes that's what the media would have you believe. as long as i know i'm smarter than you i win. we can't compare beauty cos we wear masks.
Badonna: your chances of success are teeny-weeny...like your weeny!
Tynamon: you girls really know how to hit a man where it hurts. i don't know if i'm gonna survive this era...

* Mick: hey Levi, i got a new Lion Upgrade 1-Up thingee for you.
Brody: hey why does Levi get all the booty? I'M supposed to be the leader.

* director Chip Lynne: sigh. so it's gonna be one of those episodes. the ol' switcheroo. the ol' standby, switching voices...it's funny for awhile but it's hell in the editing bay getting all the mouthflaps to correspond to the different voice, it's like i'm doing an anime, it starts to look ridiculous after a while...

* Levi with new voice: i sound like Kermit the frog! okay, fellow Rangers, i DARE you not to laugh and crack up and corpse and have to use MOUNDS of extra tape to get through these scenes.
Chip Lynne: it's cool, this is MUCHO material for the Bloopers Reel we'll show at the Christmas party.

* Victor: wait you're contagious?! nevermind, run!
Victor: i can't run, feeling faint...
Monty: i gave you cooties when i kissed you, Victor.
Victor: i thought I kissed YOU...

* Levi: can you help me out with your magic?
Preston: sorry, bud, i just can't take you seriously with that voice.
Levi: that's what i used to say about your voice. nevermind, just use one of those heaving heavy bulging tomes you carry around without a backpack!
Preston: i have to take them back to the library, they're really old. i'm gonna bankrupt all my dad's wealth paying for the late fee.

* Preston: *chanting* Metreon...
Levi: you turned me into Pinocchio! you idiot! why can't you do magic correctly? don't you study it all day?!
Preston: sorry, i forgot how to read ever since i married my girlfriend Sandy...

* Boy Levi: i have but one request: get me out of these ridiculous clothes, they were silly even when i donned them as an adult. especially when i donned them as an adult. and let me have one last hug with both babes on either side of my small shoulders, i want one more two-grab of their juicy asses.

* Boy Levi: great. well ain't this precious. this is my big acting break and the audience doesn't get to hear my actual voice. what a waste!
Chip: tough break, kid. *haahahahahahahah* but because we don't hear your voice it's not an official gig in the books and this means we don't have to pay you! *evil-smiles*

* Principal: what dumbfuckery are you up to now?
Victor and Monty: we dressed up as those men in hazard suits from 28 Days Later...
Principal: not cool, very inappropriate, you're trying to bring up Trini's death again!? let her rest in peace for goddess sake! 9/11 will never be the same.
Monty: are you coughing, Principal?
Principal: why yes i am.
Principal: wow, that was the best acting i've ever gotten to do on this show. i have a broader range but director Chip Lynne never lets me show it. makes sure to keep me clamped down tightly, always bringing me down...

* bully kid: give us back the ball, you European communist! what the fuck is your voice, boi!!!
Levi: fuck you. shit, it sounded like i said frog you.
Tynamon's voice actor: i take offense at that, you soccer midgets! i have a very distinguished voice that has played on stages from Iowa to Iceland and the New Zealand Shakespearean Opera House!!!
Levi: i want to play with you guys.
bully: you can't.
Levi: but this is National Day of Play on Nickelodeon, i cannot be denied!

* Levi: hey girl. like my gold uh silver chain?
Pippi Longstocking: yeah it's retro '80s, which is cool to our cohort i guess.
Levi: thanks for sticking up for me.
Pippi: can i be the Sixth or Seventh Ranger?
Levi: yeah i'm sure you'll be old enough to do Beast Wars. that was a nice role-reversal with the woman protecting the man, i like it, very progressive, i can't say liberal in these times.
Pippi: the kids make fun of me.
Levi: your red hair?
Pippi: no they think it's cool i have no soul. it's because i have no father. well i have a father but he's never around so i have no father. it's not that he's "lost at sea", he's lost-at-sea in his muddled mind, he has major major depression.
Levi: i'm an orphan, too. but i wasn't left a cool second-storey shantytown mansion like you were to run around in alone with no parental supervision and stay at somehow without paying rent.
Pippi: i pay with bloody pirate gold. i grew up too fast, i come back from one of my excursions with my two dirty European best friends boy and girl to find my mansion has been converted to a frat house...

* Boy Levi: *crying and making the whole house cry* i've learned something...i am ME whomever i am!
the Rangers and Mick all cry profusely. even Redbot cries real tears made of the salt of the ocean where Pippi's dad's ship shipwrecked.
Preston: presto-change-o!
Levi: i'm back! i'm a man again! that lesson just before? fuck it.

* Monster: i'm gonna flatten this Earth...

* *Rangers Zord sequence*
Rangers: whoa! this is like the set for that new live-action Aladdin!
Rangers: Will Smith.
Rangers: plays Aladdin, right? to avoid whitewashing.
Rangers: no, plays the Genie.
Rangers: whaaaaaaa? they should just use Robin Williams's voice.

* Chip: the lesson? DON'T LITTER, KIDS. if the Rangers hadn't been stupid enough to leave the gold star ninja thingee on the ground, none of this would have happened.

* Pippi: you don't really pay attention to the lyrics of your songs, huh? really feel the lyrics deep down in your soul?
Levi: nah, my manager writes them.
bully: can we play with you kids?
Levi looks at Pippi who smiles.
Pippi: fuck you.
Levi pats Pippi on the head.
Levi: good girl. that's my girl. okay, for this special soccer occasion, i've brought in the big guns.
bully: guns! *covers his head*
Levi: a golden Quidditch flying orb thing.
Pippi: dude i'm not a witch cos i have ginger hair. where's YOUR broom!?

* Victor: this show is for adults, we're rollin' round the mud like pigs as a representation of modern politics. augh! it's getting all in my mouth!
Sarah: *smiling* just another day on the porn set of Power Rangers Super Ninja Steel!