Justice League Action "Rage of the Red Lanterns"

learned:

* Cyborg: it's just weird when Teen Titans Go comes on after this.

* Batman: many people don't know this, but i don't care for all the fighting. i really just want to be a scientist.

* Diana: why is it changing course?
Superman: please, no more talk of curvature.

* Lobo: i'm smarter than i look. i'm exactly how i sound, i'm a smartass like Bender.

* Lobo: hi. paid you guys a visit cos i need band names...

* Lobo: this story is about stolen rings. why is this show on so early? it should be on daytime with the rest of the soaps.

* Atrocitus: i am Atrocitus. my name is an atrocity.

* Zilius Zox: i am Zilius Zox. i am the first character in DC history who is actually a rip-off of a Marvel character.
MODOK: thank you. that's the one thing i can be proud of in my life. the only thing. the only thing i hold onto.

* Diana: this presents a moral dilemma for us, gang. do we allow our enemy to be slaughtered or are we better than that?
Batman: Geneva Convention still holds even in comics.
Superman: can you believe that smarmy bastard Julian Assange got off?
Diana: oh he gets off. my sisters tell me horror stories.

* Bleez: please, no bleeding jokes. why do i always have to fight the woman?
Diana: cos it's sexier that way.
Bleez: comic-book geeks are women, too.
Diana: my sisters tell me horror stories.

* blue cat: i'm a blue cat. why must i also be a Red Lantern? seems like overkill, i'm already a blue cat.

* Diana: why are you taking the Spider Gauntlet?
Lobo: cos i've been underestimated my whole life.
Diana: joke's on you, unlike most women i'm not afraid of spiders.
Lobo: but do you like the arcade game Gauntlet?
Diana: yes, the Valkyrie was my first idol.

* Atrocitus: the enemy of my enemy is my friend. but Atrocitus has no friends!
Superman: Atrocitus, buddy, i..............sorry, i can't. Atrocitus, that name is just too ridiculous to continue the conversation.

* Skallox: why won't anyone be my friend? is it cos of the devil horns? i like heavy metal.
blue cat: no, it's cos you look like the Devil. you gotta be a cute animal like me.

* Batman: hey cat! do your thing.
Batman: good job, cat! for the record, i'm a dog person.
Dex-Starr: for the record i'm not an alien. just a cat who happens to be blue, like that human from last week's Doctor Who. i think i was named after the Death Star or something. now i will scratch your eyes out.
Batman: foiled, feline fiend! that is why i wear the mask, cat. not to protect my identity, for cat scratches. had a bad experience the first time i went up in a tree.

* Zilius Zox: Zilius Zox means "Throw Under the Bus" in Latin.

* Diana: we have a prison Lobo will never escape from. Alcatraz.
Batman: tourist trap now.
Diana: Guantanamo?
Superman: it's complicated.
Diana: the prison system is outdated anyway.

* Batman: this is why i prefer to work alone.
Diana: still sore over the dump?
Batman: why, Diana? the Wonder Woman/Superman thing is weird, the fans don't want it. we're more natural.
Diana: variety is the spice of life.
Batman: whatever. i've moved on, too. i fucked Bleez and now my dick is red.
Diana: say hi to Robin for me.