Doctor Who "Oxygen"

learned:

* when you know a second in that this is gonna be good

* yes, BBC America, Star Trek TNG is on your channel now, you have the rights we get it.

* woman: i want to have your baby.................oh my mic isn't working..........you actually have an excuse, you're not just being a typical man.

* man: i've had nightmares about my mother-in-law being a zombie in space...

* i take back everything i've ever said about Nardole. Matt Lucas is a genius.

* Professor Doctor: welcome to Introductory Death 101...

* the Doctor: where are my crisps?
Nardole: you don't fool me, you don't have to eat!
the Doctor: y'know those sunglasses i liked to wear last season? well i'm gonna really need them...

* the Doctor: this episode is sponsored by Alien: Covenant. this episode is better than Alien: Covenant.

* the Doctor: i'm not saying Communism is better, it's just that things are a bit trickier up here in space.

* Nardole: so those things are literally empty suits?
the Doctor: like the President.
Nardole: the current one or...?
the Doctor: all Presidents generally.

* the Doctor: my sonic screwdriver's broken.
Nardole: save it. you'll need a walking cane later...

* Nardole: i recognize that computer voice. i fucked her.
Bill: you fucked Velma from Scooby-Doo?
Nardole: that's what online dating is, right?

* the Doctor: o death, where is thy sting?
Bill: Shakespeare?
the Doctor: or the Bible, they're interchangeable at this point.

* Bill: i'm not racist, just nostalgic. you look like a Smurf.
blue man: i talk as plainly as i can to avoid standing out. hasn't worked.

* black woman: head black bitch in charge here! if you want the job done right ask a woman! who the hell are you?!
the Doctor: who you will regenerate from if Viola Davis is busy.

* Bill: i have to suffocate in the vacuum of space? i didn't sign up for this!
the Doctor: now you know how i feel.

* smartsuit: your organic components will be deactivated. your life is in our hands.
Bill: at least let me keep the afro.

* Bill: can you still answer questions?
the Doctor: i'm blind, not dumb.
Bill: what is beyond space? what is after the void?
the Doctor: me.
Bill: so you're God?
the Doctor: i'm God the way Uncle Grandpa is God.

* okay, story time. the exchange of the blindness being only "temporary" brings up my VERY FIRST experience looking at a Doctor Who thing. i remember that scene vividly, the Companion thinks she is blind after a mission and asks the Doctor to kill her per her home-planet tradition. the Doctor, Tom Baker i'm sure, gives a wry smile and says the blindness is only temporary. that was the start of it all for me, the subconscious link to present day.

* Bill: wait, you're leaving me to die? i didn't sign up for this!
the Doctor: you'll get double-pay for this episode, they have the money, i'm leaving soon.

* crew: but the first crewmate died, remember?!
the Doctor: that's not my fault, he should have known the horror-movie rules. never be the first one.

* man: thanks, love. well you know what they say, 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Shakespeare. or something.
woman: *zombie gurgle*

* Nardole: look at me when i'm scolding you! look into my eyes! i am your mother!
the Doctor: i can't. like physically can't. *fist pump* i FINALLY have an excuse! this is why i'll have to regenerate! it's almost over, Matt!
Nardole: so who's the Thirteenth?
the Doctor: this year's Christmas special will be animated. like we go to an animated planet or something. at the end of the two hours, the camera will pan up to my old blind wrinkled face. and it will morph into.............Mr. Magoo!!!