Power Rangers Ninja Steel "Gold Rush"

learned:

* Becca Barnes: Chip, you HAVE to promise me we won't let Jordi Webber go! he can't just be a guest  star, he's too damn handsome, i need to look at his face daily!

* Levi Weston: i'm a country singer. my last name has "west" in it. my first album went Gold...

* Sarah: i'm first in line for the train...
Hayley: no, dammit, i'm first! i'm first! i've got to win something! if the writers won't give it to me i'll give it to myself!

* girl: i'm Levi Weston's biggest fan hence my fan costume.
Victor: dumb girl. stupid girl.
Monty: cut it out, Victor, that's the daughter of the president of Saban.

* Levi: thanks for saving me out there. i don't have friends who aren't hangers-on and just in it for the fame. i guess you could say i'm kinda like Justin Bieber.
Brody: yeah we already did the boy Ranger thing to varying success.

* lady: thanks for fixing my mode of transport.
Levi: cute kid you got in the seat there.
lady: it's yours, Levi.
Levi: i can't raise a kid, i'm the Gold Ranger.

* monster: where's the Gold Star?!
Levi Weston's manager: is this cos i'm black?
monster: no it's cos you're the Black Ranger...

* reporter: the Gold Ranger makes his triumphant appearance to the world!
Calvin: i'm the Yellow Ranger! me! the Gold Ranger's suit is more of a Mustard Yellow, he's the Mustard Yellow Ranger.

* Levi: i don't need a bodyguard anymore, i can fight this monster alone, for i am the Gold Ranger!
Brody: so you're not going to pay me?

* Brody: what happened?
Levi: Madame Odius kidnapped me. i let her cos she was cute. i'm into fucking rubber suits.

* flashback:
Madame Odius: come with me, Gold Ranger. i shall make you a pop idol.
Levi: but i don't know how to sing.
Madame Odius: hence you will be the perfect pop idol.

* Gold Ranger enters headquarters.
Redbot: watch yourself, that first step's a doozy. it's like a giant fan. it will slice you up into pieces. it did to me and i'm not human.

* Gold Ranger: hey what's my zord gonna be?
Mick: i was thinking either a cowboy hat or a guitar.
Redbot: or a bull cos you're full of bull.

* Sarah: it's good to have you on the team, Levi. dibs.
Hayley: dammit! i really hate you, Sarah!
Sarah: hey you decided to be in a relationship from the start. that really hampered your character development.
Hayley: *sigh*

* Victor: okay okay so now i'm the "Big Fan". where's my backstage pass? where the groupies at? where are the green M&Ms and the bubbles? hey Monty turn the fan off, i'm starting to fly away.
Monty: off button? there's no off button.
Victor: why the fuck wouldn't you include an off button?!
Monty: budget cuts. ratings. this show isn't doing as well as expected.

* lady: y'know i just realized that Levi didn't actually sing this episode.
Madame Odius: he can't sing.
lady: my child is a lie.
Madame Odius: tell me about it. it's getting harder and harder these days for us women to find someone worthy to jill off to.