Saturday Night Live Cameron Diaz / Bruno Mars / Mark Ronson Episode Discussion

learned:

* Executive Order: that was the first SNL political skit that got my juices flowing since.....ever. i hate politics. i still do, but that was a real shot at government's shoulder done with an unassailable fist: Schoolhouse Motherfucking Rock! poor Obama, he MUST be doing something wrong when even SNL doesn't care anymore.

* Back-Home Ballers: as a male version of this, i would welcome any of these ladies home with an awkward conversation and a bowl to smoke.

* High School Theatre Show: this made me chuckle nervously cos i really want to be part of an inscrutable indie-theatre company someday. when the audience cringes, i know i have done my job...

* Bruno Mars and Mark Ronson. or rather, the reverse: first of all: energy for days, like Woody Harrelson energy after Woody finds out pot is legal. second of all, Bruno was willing to take a back seat to Mark's ax-grinding and Mystikal's frenetic flourishing. that's rare. i mean, Bruno was truly one of the guys here, a team player, he didn't have a solo showcase, he was the headless headliner, not Chuck E. Cheese but rather one of the Pizza Time Players.

* Dr. Dave and Buggles: my body tells me whether something is funny when it laughs despite itself. that's what happened here. look out for the cute ones, i'm tending to an adorable new baby kitten at my house so i feel the good doctor. that's the signpost up ahead! your next stop: the sign has a penis thrown at it.

* Night Murmurs: let me see if i can help: Pepsi is sweeter than Coke, it's slightly more disgusting to swallow down on a hot day, your stomach is trying to reject all that fizz and sugar and shit but it's a hot day so it eventually has to go with it. you feel slightly more discouraged at yourself when you plop that six-pack of blue cans of Pepsi on the grocery counter than the bright red cheery cans of Coke. your mood matches those blue cans.

* can we talk about the two skits cut for time on last week's show, Tweet and the Pentagon Robot? i really enjoyed Tweet and liked Robot. Tweet was a nice destruction of tweeters' sense of importance, and the lonely scientist who builds a hot female companion is straight out of Twilight Zone. once again SNL decides to leave out its best material. rule of thumb going forward: everything you cut comes back to cut you.

* was i seeing things late at night or did one of the bumpers have Cameron Diaz fucking a Thanksgiving turkey and the two of them smoking about it afterwards? this will replace our family tradition of taking a tryptophan nap after the meal from now on...