Power Rangers Super Ninja Steel "The Poisy Show"

notes:

* Sledge: come on, Chip Lynne, "Sledge's Last Christmas" would have been a great title.
Madame Odius: *singing* let's hear it for the girls! *do do do do do* get 'em, Poi! get 'em, girl!
Poisy: you my ride-or-die bitch, Odius, i love you like a sister from another mister.
Odius: that is how we both formed and were born. and i am still dead.
Sledge: how about "Blast Christmas"?
Chip: that Sonic thing already took it.

* Chip: what the fuck? why does the wikipedia entry have a rumor instead of the actual byline?

* Sledge: didn't this spaceship get blown up already?
Wrench: tv never dies, sir, it just repeats.
Sledge: don't open your eyes yet, sweetums!
Poisandra: oooh babe, you know how much i love being tied up and blindfolded!

* Poisy: burnt-out tv studio?
Sledge: yeah it's like Regis and Kathie Lee.
Poisy: i'm sure with a paintjob it should spruce right up! i love getting my face painted.

* Principal: i'm in this and those two numbskulls aren't. education pays, bitches.
Sarah: guys, this is a sad occasion, this is the last time we're on tv like this as the Rangers.
Preston: and my last chance with you. don't be sad, it's the Christmas episode everybody! tho i don't celebrate Christmas.
Brody: the Prism Thingee came back? why doesn't it come back more often?

* Levi: look, it's a hologram. i can like Star Wars even though i wear a cowboy hat.
Wes: Rangers, you're my only hope. none of the Power Ranger toys are selling this year, so i need you to mass-produce this hologram and sell that to kids. don't worry, it's safe. there will be the occasional design flaw but it's mostly positive-reinforcement messages with one porn thrown in there in the mix.

* the ninja-star charges and hits our Ranger heroes in the head, except for one, that one bounces off Sarah's ass...

* Snow Bright: omg! look how pretty i am! look at my carved ivory face! i'm so good-looking no one knows if i'm a boy or girl, that's the standard, that's how you know i'm hot. call me Bish, it won't be an insult.
Preston: i've seen these bishonen before, they're bad news! i got hooked on them in 2nd Grade, stunted my growth for five years.

* Snow Bright: look what i did!
Sarah: white stuff...
Snow Bright: i turned y'all into the most kawaii chibi snowmen in the galaxy! you are so cute i don't want to destroy you anymore, i want to eat you!
Sarah: still, still, even in this snowman suit, my ass is bigger than this snowman's ass...
Snow Bright: wait, what's going on?!
Sarah: the snowmen suits are melting, cos they're made from the Frosty material...
Calvin: okay i confess, you are very handsome, Snow Bright.
Hayley: Calvin please! we just got back together!

* Wrench: hey what about Preston who got away?
Snow Bright: leave him, he's Asian, no fighting skills.

* Poisy: more than anything else in the universe i wanted to be a talk-show host!
Brody: that's sad.
Poisy: Sledge had the money, well the pirated space gold. so i clung to him till i could break free on my own, i'm too good-looking to stay with that deadweight. look at me, i've got real rounded black breasts in a heart bra for fuck sake!
Sarah and Hayley highfive Poisy and all three grin ear-to-ear (hard to tell with Poisy).
Poisy: actually all i wanted was this microphone...
Poisy: so first guest, tell us about how unfair my boyfriend is being!
Levi: guys, i got the one power that is more powerful than anything else in space!
Calvin: let me guess, there is no fury like it, even Hell.
Brody: *snickering like a gansta, arms up* get yo bitch bothered, pull the string, and watch her spin!...

* Sarah: want a jellybean? oh shit, this is a recap episode after all! we were doing so well! it was the 9:11 mark...
Sarah: so anyway, the thing about our parents dating was not the biracial thing at all, it was the genetic thing...
Chip: i'm still having trouble clearing that episode for standards.

* Preston: i landed on my brother! chances. in the middle of nowhere. this must be prehistoric times, all i see are trees and a grassy clearing.
Koda: hello. you know me?
Preston: i am your, uh, friend, not brother, there's a difference. you know it's weird seeing a caveman like you in a setting that's not snowing. or a blizzard or something.
Koda: you don't have to speak loud, i'm not deaf!
Preston: do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?
Koda: not really, you speak a slight variant on the Mandarin i know.

* Sledge: little boy blue...
Preston: with Sarah's help, i will become a man.

* Sledge: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! BAD CGI DINOSAUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Preston: huh, when the dinosaur attacks me, the CGI is slightly better and improved, clearer, a variant.
Koda: Jurassic Park blew the budget on the LEGO special and had only this one cell for us to work with.

* Poisy: typical man!
Calvin: i'll never lie again.
Poisy: then you ain't no man!
Hayley: yeah! preach, sista!

* Poisy: call me a bitch!
Sledge: what?! why!?
Poisy: so i can bitchslap you!!!
Sledge: you are so hurtful to me.

* Poisandra: my mother was right about you, you deadass! she told me and said you were a cruel, uncaring cretin. i'm not a monster or villain, i'm just a girl! i just want to see love all over! my father said all you were was a wrench-monkey who worked at a high school garage!
Wrench: hey, some of my best relatives are monkeys.
Sledge: baby, i'm sorry for killing your parents, i thought that was the marriage tradition on your planet...

* Santa: i was watching two ants kissing on the rim of my flying sleigh waiting for you Rangers to appear.
Preston: those ants were just bumping into each other, Santa.
Santa: hey, Koda! Koda is my first and only friend, you're doing what i taught you, right Koda? The First Christmas?
Koda: Koda doesn't get religion.
Santa: it's a good thing i came, this special up till now had nothing to do with Christmas whatsoever. *Santa farts* *Koda covers his nose*

* Snow Bright: cold snap.
Rangers: OH SNAP!!!
Snow Bright: I'M MELTING!!!!!!!!! hey hey hey whoa whoa what's with the acid rain? you just need regular water to melt me. a giant snowman as your zord? you think that scares me?
Rangers, with Sarah: no, but how bout a giant snowWOMAN? *two battering-ram tits pop out of the giant snowoman*
Snow Bright: i didn't have a snowball's chance in...
Chip: ...don't say it!!!
Snow Bright: my name was Snow Blight all along, jus' trollin' ya. to fuck with the selling of toys.
Chip: *waving his roiled fist in the air* copyright.

* Poisy: oh Sledgeums! you're so sweet! you got me a CLOCK!!!

* Koda: you're not my friends......you're family. Sledge killed my family. he was trying to marry me.
Rangers: thanks, Koda! you got us smaller Santa sacks of toys inside the big Santa sack of toys!
Calvin: they're caveman clubs, plastic.
Preston: except for my club. Sarah, please? last chance for any of us.

* Koda: okay, guys, let's go to my homeworld in my hometime and celebrate Christmas! the Koda Christmas Special! no Jesus, just Koda!
Chip: that was our intial pitch to the network, "A Koda Christmas". killed for budget, too much CGI T-rex.
Koda: and now the Power Rangers Christmas Special no one will see cos it's time for Spongebob to come on!

* MEANWHILE in a nondescript forest of trees somewhere, Mick Kanic, Redbot, Monty and Victor roam the Zealand countryside, foraging for food. they have morphed into Beasts...
Mick: i'm the Lion Beast Morpher! hey whatever happened to Caitlin Murphy?...