Power Rangers Ninja Steel "Monkey Business"

learned:

* not about Trump

* Calvin: a vulnerable woman shouldn't be walking the mean streets alone.
Hayley: very funny. i'm a Ranger, remember? where were you? you were supposed to pick me up.
Calvin: didn't you say once you loved me for my absentmindedness?
Hayley: yeah but after Jerry Lewis died it's just not the same.

* monkey monster: they blew the budget with my costume. i'm a monkey with flappy ears with the body of a phone only your parents would understand.
Chip Lynne: those aren't ears.

* Sarah: never realized how short i was till now.
Preston: yo Calvin, if you don't treat yo girl right i'm stealing her.
Principal: hello, i'm here to start the plot. I wonder if an episode will delve into my personal life.

* Calvin: i'll be a better Student Body President than you.
Hayley: but i can fuck better than you.

* Victor: this is my chance to hold onto power forever. i'm running on a platform of cancelling all future elections.
Monty: modern history is so interesting.

* Principal: oh and Sarah, get your fat ass off the desk.
Sarah: jealous of my ass?
Principal: at least i'm married. he put a ring on this cow before i spilled the milk.

* Monkey: now that i can imitate all the Rangers' voices i'll make a killing on those lucrative Power Rangers video games!

* Monkey: and i would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you meddling kids' bikes.

* Calvin: my poster's bigger than yours.
Hayley: but my **** is bigger than yours. plus, your poster says Big Brother.
Calvin: at least i don't have to use bad CGI on my balloon.

* Calvin: hello everyone, class, can you turn the music down? i want to pick up this mic not to drop it but to let you all know i care. i'm using my inside voice. cos we're inside. you trust this voice. make sure to vote twice. i can fix things. i'll fix your heart, girl.
Hayley: that was really sincere. are you sure you're not doing this just to spite me?
Calvin: i spit fire for you, girl. wanna fuck after school on the Principal's desk?
Hayley: sure.
Calvin: can't. can only give you a kiss on the cheek. kid's show.
Hayley: oh yeah, i keep forgetting we're not on 90210.

* Hayley: cupcakes? but that's my grandmother's recipe.
Calvin: sure is. and it tastes oh so fine.
Hayley: you don't understand. my grandmother was part of the struggle. it was for white landowners. she put **** in it.

* Victor: dammit, Monty, this isn't hot sauce, it's strawberry sauce.

* Principal: look at this mess! it's perfect for the porn we're shooting here later tonight!

* Monkey: i heard this and i heard that.
Calvin: wait, who is this?
Monkey: a complete stranger.
Calvin: i'll be right over. i'm in the yellow truck cos i'm the Yellow Ranger.

* Monkey: keep the Pink one tied-up...

* Monkey: i heard he said this and she only did this cos of that.
Hayley: wait, who are you?
Monkey: i'm using a voice modulator.
Hayley: OMG Soundwave is my favorite Transformer! i'll be right over.

* Mick: hello. i'm here to give the moral. you shouldn't trust everything you hear. i'm quitting the show. they really need me over at Neighbours, the ratings are down.

* Monkey: yo folks, meet me at the Plaza.
Levi: holdup. i was born at night but it was last night on a country farm. who is this again?
Monkey: a monkey monster from outer space who likes to gossip.
Levi: he sounds like you, Hayley.
Hayley: fuck you, Levi.

* Hayley: behold! my holes!

* Preston: i'm a motherfucking ninja! i'm a trash man! i don't want to be a magician anymore!

* Hayley: hold on to that burlap sack. i need it for my dress to the Cinderella Ball.

* Monkey: wait! i'm Calvin trapped in this monkey's body!
Hayley: nice try. i know my boyfriend's voice. besides, that's next episode.

* Levi: KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEE....
Preston: Kamen Rider?

* Levi: but first, let me take a selfie.
Monkey: i may be a monkey's uncle, but you're a grown man with a burger phone. do you sell burgers or something?
Levi: i like burgers, okay?

* Hayley: yo my wolf zord can emit some crazy high-pitched frequencies.
Sarah: what is it saying?
Hayley: it doesn't like being trapped in a zoo. it wants its freedom. it wants to go back to Alaska. it wants Alaska to secede and go back to Canada where it belongs.

* Brody: why do we have to go through the Gigantify process every time?
Chip Lynn: gotta sell toys.

* Brody: yo can i try something before you explode?
Monkey: sure.
Brody: anyone got a large coin?

* Monty: don't worry. it's like Carrie but not really.

* Victor: sorry. i know i'm a good actor but these are CGI balloons. CGI balloons. i'm quitting the show.
Monty: you can't, Victor. kids have come up to me at cons and told me we were their favorite characters.
Victor: *crying* thank you. it's tough when you're not appreciated for your work.