Justice League Action "E. Nigma, Consulting Detective"

learned:

* best title ever

* consulting detective, i'm gonna use that from now on.

* "nique", i'm using that, too.

* Joker: Burns? the hounds thing was mine first. check my first comic when i was still human and mild-mannered and Bruce's friend.

* diner eater: dude, not cool. just cos my eggs and bacon are a face don't mean you can shove my face into that face.

* Wonder Woman: where's Joker?!
stooge: will you go out with me? i'm rich. just turned rich after that bank job.

* Wonder Woman: Nigma's been given a clean bill of health. women don't scour the internet for porn, they check men's medical records.

* Green Arrow: yes but can we trust a pimp?

* Riddler: sorry, toots, you're not my type.
Wonder Woman: no, this is a lasso. not a sex thing at all.
Riddler: that clown stole my act! riddling is my thing. it's my only superpower.
Batman: i can relate.

* Riddler: life itself is a riddle.
Wonder Woman: and what is the answer?
Riddler: dunno. but we're here, right?

* Green Arrow: hey man, i'm not dumb! just never watched Sesame Street as a kid i had a rough childhood.

* Riddler: rebus.
Green Arrow: sounds like a disease.

* Riddler: Sol is our sun's name, connection with the first episode, mon is Jamaican for man, not racist, grunt, you know all about that Wonder Woman, and tee, just one peppermint for me.

* Green Arrow: okay so maybe i am dumb.

* Solomon Grundy: i'm Sol like the sun. i'm actually Chinese but you can't tell on account of my skin condition.

* Riddler: taste it.
Green Arrow: no. i gave up purple stuff long ago. i'm a Sunny D man.

* Wonder Woman: Iceberg Club. where i confessed my love for Batman.

* Penguin: please, Edward, stay.
Riddler: what?
Penguin: no seriously. as you can see, this dump's empty most of the time. i'm hemorrhaging money like sockeye salmon swimming upstream. worst investment of my life. the place is underwater.

* Wonder Woman: finally some action. notice how it's I, the woman, saying this.

* Penguin: like my umbrella gun? sorry.

* Riddler: what kind of pastry?
Green Arrow: CUPCAKE! CUPCAKE!

* Riddler: i don't use maps. i'm a man.

* this episode brought to you by Champ Beans.

* Joker: honor amongst thieves?
Riddler: you stole my heart. ripped it out of my chest and stomped on it.

* Wonder Woman: before we start, can i have that huge Redbottom heel?

* Joker: what's the hangup?
Riddler: you talentless hack!
Joker: don't we have an ongoing comic series about this?

* Joker: behold my sucker!

* Riddler: you're getting sloppy, Joker.
Wonder Woman: that's what she said.

* Joker: are you dumb, Riddler?
Riddler: NO! I WATCHED SESAME STREET!

* Riddler: MISSISSIPPI GODDAM!!!

* Joker: how could you!? never dunk a donut in coffee that ruins it!

* Green Arrow: so are you ready to join the Justice League, Riddler?
Riddler: no but can i stay in the Watchtower bathroom for awhile while i get back on my feet?

* Riddler: crazy as a soup sandwich? what does that even mean?
Joker: it's crazy.