* Rod Serling himself would be proud of this gorgeous series. this stuff is so good it should be in black and white.
* Eric: i don't like it when i play the straight guy, i want to get wacky like you. here's my pitch for next episode, i call it Eric and Tim's...
Tim: now THAT is scary.
* Eric: my name is Eric and i'm a diaperholic.
Tim: that's disgusting! hi, Eric, i know where you live.
Eric: this is supposed to be anonymous.
Tim: then why did you say your name? what do you think this is, the internet?
Eric: the internet isn't anonymous anymore, the drones know all.
Tim: the drones got nothing on my Uncle Sal's fist.
* Eric: why are you spitting out your food and drink?
Tim: i don't eat, i connoisseur. here's your cure, it's a placebo of sugar water. go to the bathroom.
Eric: you're right, it worked! i went in there and smelled the diaper and smelled chocolate! i immediately retched cos i hate chocolate. the sugar water is making me feel better, i'm not sluggish anymore, i got a pep in my step.
Tim: see? the power of the mind.
Eric: no, i'm diabetic.
* Tim: remember, i want this to be crystal clear, i said catfish, right?
Eric: catfish, got it. it's a little out of my way, but...
Tim: take my hearse. if you screw up, you're already in your final resting place.
* mafia don: no fries?! no drink?! catfish?! i said crawfish!
Eric: Tim, help me out, you said catfish.
Tim: no, i said crawfish................................but you're getting catfished right now.
* Eric: i will do my best to make the red sauce.
Tim: it better be the best sauce ever or you'll already be in your final resting place.
Eric: how's that?
Tim: we'll make the sauce your blood.
* Mama (singing): Camptown Races...........London Bridge Is Falling Down.........99 Bottles of Vino On the Wall Next To Your Mounted Head........ABCDEFG.....
crowd: Freebird!
Mama leaves the stage and returns in a Catholic schoolgirl uniform.
Mama: Oops, I Did It Again...
Tim: Mama, did you like the sauce?
Mama: i thought it was..................................terrible.
the mafia shoots Eric.
Eric (writhing): why?
Mama: sorry, i don't like Italian food.
* Tim: people are people, unchanging as the tides or a heart attack from too much rich, cholesterol-laden food.
Eric: that is so sad and determinist.
Tim: tell you what, you don't gotta dumpsterdive at no hospitals no more, i'll supply you.
Eric: how?
Tim: from my own private stash, i wear adult diapers....................(iris out)
Eric: catfish, got it. it's a little out of my way, but...
Tim: take my hearse. if you screw up, you're already in your final resting place.
* mafia don: no fries?! no drink?! catfish?! i said crawfish!
Eric: Tim, help me out, you said catfish.
Tim: no, i said crawfish................................but you're getting catfished right now.
* Eric: i will do my best to make the red sauce.
Tim: it better be the best sauce ever or you'll already be in your final resting place.
Eric: how's that?
Tim: we'll make the sauce your blood.
* Mama (singing): Camptown Races...........London Bridge Is Falling Down.........99 Bottles of Vino On the Wall Next To Your Mounted Head........ABCDEFG.....
crowd: Freebird!
Mama leaves the stage and returns in a Catholic schoolgirl uniform.
Mama: Oops, I Did It Again...
Tim: Mama, did you like the sauce?
Mama: i thought it was..................................terrible.
the mafia shoots Eric.
Eric (writhing): why?
Mama: sorry, i don't like Italian food.
* Tim: people are people, unchanging as the tides or a heart attack from too much rich, cholesterol-laden food.
Eric: that is so sad and determinist.
Tim: tell you what, you don't gotta dumpsterdive at no hospitals no more, i'll supply you.
Eric: how?
Tim: from my own private stash, i wear adult diapers....................(iris out)
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