The Haunting Hour "Return of the Pumpkinheads" Episode Discussion

learned:

* girl: mom, mom, MOM!!! like, oh my god, mom, like, my friends are gone, mom, Kristen is, omg, fuck this place, mom, fuck my life, i don't want to live on this planet anymore, mom, not in this house.
mom: hush up, girl, you're not in the valley anymore, you're in the country.

* girl: Kristen, i hear a scratching sound on my window, you hear that?
Kristen: yes i do, i'm the one making it...

* boy: dad, what are you doing here?
Steve Bacic: i used to be the father to some kid on this show, it was spooky like this one but a different show, same company but different, and well, long story short, i just hope that show's not canceled now that we're on Discovery Family.
boy: i don't want to do anything, dad! i don't want to do anything anymore! this place has transformed me from star football player to goth.

* skeleton boy: don't say i didn't warn you.
boy: scram, kid, ya bother me.
skeleton boy: i wasn't talking to you, wannabe. i was addressing the cute girl.
girl: warn us about what?
boy: the high fructose corn syrup i'm sucking off this lollipop will cause more damage to my head than if my head were turned into a pumpkin.

* mom: remember?
girl: when i used to lick the spoon? yeah, good times i guess, at our old house anyway.
mom: learning to use your tongue will come in handy in your future. you shouldn't put too much stock in the house itself, the location. i've heard that some houses are living entities that trap homesick girls.
girl: the horror-movie chic of this place is going to your head. take off that ridiculous costume, mom, you're embarrassing me in front of Kristen. besides, you sound like a sheep, not a witch.
mom: did you call me a bitch?
girl: no, witch.
mom: did you call me a sheep?
girl: um, yes.
mom: i'll have you know i didn't vote this last election.

* ornery woman: where's my son?
boy: skeleton boy?
ornery woman: yeah, that's my son!
boy: are you his mom...or dad?
ornery woman: how dare you!
boy: sorry, it's dark out here.

* boy: quick, get in the car! they're coming!
girl: i want my parents back! the way they were! i never thought i'd be saying that!
boy: who knew?
girl: haha, that was funny. please Mom and Dad, i promise to wear my seat belt from now on.
boy: we're long past seat belts. we need to get our folks to a hospital.
girl: really? do you really think an ordinary doctor can cure this? we need a witch doctor.
boy: shut up, Meg!
girl: what?
boy: shut up and drive!