Archer 1999 "Mr. Deadly Goes to Town"

notes:

* okay, at first i thought the title was all wrong, should have been comes to play-on-words with cum or something and all the past 1930s film references, the ones starring Gregory Peck, but THEN i got it: see it takes me awhile to get things. now this is actually one of the most brilliant titles ever.

* Archer: you know i hate black holes! they make me think of Mother's vulva!
Archer: pencil-pusher! *throws pencil at Cyril*
Cyril: hey.

* Lana: IMMINENT DEATH sign...
Malory: relax, it's just one of those universal eternal-gravitation machines you see on the desks of all the heads of Fortune 500 companies, all of the Mad Men i slept with...i remember the florid smell of all their couches...

* Lana: don't do that! don't keep hitting the death-dust snowmen to make snow angels!
Krieger: i'm choking on my own death dust! this is the death-dust of my own clone! what a surreal experience!

* Mr. Deadly: i look like Pinhead without the pins...but i'm a walking pin in a grenade…

* Mr. Deadly: think of me as Deidara...in space.
Pam: you're not fooling anyone, dude, you can't reanimate a dead corpse.

* Adam Reed: turns out, not only didn't i write all the episodes this season, i wrote LESS THAN half of them! i really was like my character Ray this season: i just said fuck you to all the work and i'm eating my cake in my room! ALL the cake!

* Pam: Circuit Dick...
Krieger starts to cry.
Pam: sorry, dude.
Krieger: you just made me think of Circuit City…

* Mr. Deadly: i got bored...
Archer: that's the cause of all the misery in the world...and universe.

* Mr. Deadly: my destiny is to die.
Lana: that's the destiny of everyone.
Cheryl: is anyone else turned on right now?
Ray: wanna borrow my geisha fan?

* Archer: SPAGHETTIFICATION!!! what is it?
Pam: that's when you visit the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Archer: huh, um...…...actually, Pam, that is kinda technically correct.
Archer: TIME DILATION!!!
Pam: relax, dude, i'm not pregnant by you.

* Pam: i just like to eat spaghetti. it's a Jimmy Buffett thing.

* Malory: do androids dreams of electric sheep?
Krieger: only when they're plugged in i mean i'm plugged in.
Malory: what the hell have you been doing all this time in your secret lab??!
Krieger: trying to make Tang taste better. it's a lost cause.

* Krieger: okay, audience, here is the tennis ball i made which will feature as the deus-ex-machina bloody fish thing, i dunno, i fell asleep when they were discussing Hitchcock at Berkeley…

* Archer: if i'm such a loser, why'd you marry me?
Lana: i'm actually secretly in love with your mother. Malory's debasement of my race, ethnicity, and gender really turn me on. it's an ancient primal feeling i can't explain to you.

* Mr. Deadly: the ice cream's good, but do you have it in unicorn flavor? that butterfly had such a salty mouth cos it almost drowned at sea.
space pirates: they fact that we're gay make us MORE manly.

* space pirates: is this a kimono?
Ray: YAAAAAYYYY i'm finally gonna get a plot!

* Mr. Deadly: fine, let's do this. why are you holding up the peace sign? i told you i'm bad with gestures.
Cheryl: no, two cocks.

* Mr. Deadly: so you want to discuss our feelings now?
Cheryl: no, i fuck like a man. let me sleep now, supervisor!
Mr. Deadly: sorry about all the cum, i've been backed-up for like billions of years and it all just came out in one sitting.
Cheryl: tis my frothy morning vanilla shake.

* Mr. Deadly: what's your name?
Cheryl: i'm that mom in those shampoo commercials who butts into all of her neighbors' business. and especially her own daughter's business.

* Mr. Deadly: i can't believe you sacrificed your life to save mine. not all of humanity belongs in the space dump.
Lana: thank you but i kinda hoped Archer would have saved me after i jumped in front of you. oh well *sigh*

* Krieger: quick, Archer, throw the tennis ball!
Archer: i don't play anymore after the whole O.J. thing.
Malory: i'm cancelling your club membership, Sterling.

* Archer: we didn't cause that explosion and the loss of an entire civilization, right?
Krieger: actually, we were all on that space station that just exploded...
Cheryl: YAY the Fourth of July Fireworks came early!!!