Archer 1999 "Road Trip"

notes:

* ROAD TRIP!!!

* i'm assuming this will be better than the movie...i never saw the movie...watching the Trapt music video for "Echo" is enough...that was Trapt's best song BY FAR

* spoilers: it is. takes awhile to warm up but it is

* Lana: i'm not angry, you're just dumb.
Archer: maraschino cherries?
Lana: nope. just the McDonald's cherries they put on those nutty sundaes.

* after the crash:
Archer: saved the lemon.
Lana: is that a swipe at my puckered asshole?

* Krieger: good news everyone!...Season 11!

* Krieger: eventually...
Lana: everything's eventually...

* Pam: you're a dick!
Archer: no you're a dick. like, you're a big dick, right?
Pam: no i'm a rock-monster thingee!

* Archer: what's your number?
Lana: my number?
Archer: your sleep number. measuring out our honeymoon suite.

* Ray: want me to freshen up your sour?
Malory: yes, please, dear, you're the sweetest. what flavor is this?
Ray: cake-flavored.

* Cyril: hey, at least i'm not as useless as Ray!

* you know one of the animators was figuring out Archer's hair with the mix-n-match palette and the model came back without hair and Adam Reed's like, "fuck it, i can't choose, just leave him bald..."

* Lana: well well well, we now know the cause of all of Archer's angsty assholery all these years: he's had lice in his hair this whole time!

* Archer: oh no. okay cancel the show then. we are NOT entertaining Beta Archer any longer!
rest of the world (and universe): we want the Beta Archer series! we want to learn poetry!

* Cyril: this is insane. this is impossible. this is illogical.
Krieger: put away your Vulcan ears. it's the multiverse.
Adam Reed: over my dead body will Joss Whedon ever touch this my creation!

* Cyril: hey this is like that Star Trek Final Earth Wars episode...
Archer: the 4400...always such an odd number...
Cyril: the Ood...oh, NOW i get it!

* Krieger: that was more gory than Attack on Titan!
Archer: you knew about the Nazi labor camp next door when you were working in your lab, right, Krieger?
Krieger: no! i swear! i was too self-absorbed to ever look up!
Archer: i believe him.

* Archer: i'm not only the president, i'm also a member.
Pam: member *chuckles*
Lana: this show of all shows, PLEASE don't turn me into the angry black woman!
Cheryl: so i'm gonna fuck my own doppelganger. anyone else? want to watch or join in?
Pam: missed opportunity: i could have seen how my Pam doppelganger looked this season without the rock monster!

* blue dinosaur: yes it's me! from the '80s cartoon you watched! remember? you bought my toy. you flushed my spiked horned helmet down the toilet...mom got so mad…

* The Culling: Wes Cullen, if you're out there, i love you, boy, i still think you can be the next Leo DiCaprio...

* Cheryl: The Culling...also known as the USWNT pee test...

* okay that was novel and cool. using the ship's rocket-fuel-launcher fire blasts to singe and incinerate the poor dinosaur's head off...

* Malory: we're gonna do business with the insurance company the Trump way...

* Archer: wait, that was a CLONE!!? that means Beta Archer is ME!!!
Lana: you have a soft spot, you're just acting in front of the camera. i'm not an idiot, that's why i married you.
Archer: what did you do with our wedding photo album? i need to confirm.
Lana: who keeps photo albums anymore?