Archer 1999 "Cubert"

notes:

* well that got disturbing and uncomfortable at the end

* other candidates for this episode's title: "Ghost Cube", "Wake Up, Archer"

* not Elisha Cuthbert

* Pam: you're a buzzkill.
Lana: i can cut peaches on my ass. my buttocks is a buzzsaw.

* Cheryl: ambergris?
Archer: no that's that Bob's Burgers episode.

* a ranch tub was first featured on the Eric Andre Show...man do i want the Eric Andre Show to come back...

* Malory: ranch? oh you mean white cocktail sauce.

* Cyril: so this is the cube from that Filter video for "Welcome To the Fold".
Archer: i give you credit you know that.
Cyril: you can tell Adam Reed has a pen in his hand at all times writing these scripts, there is always much dialogue about pens.
Archer: penis?
Cyril: hey did you see the Rick + Morty Season 4 trailer i was in at Comic-Con this San Diego?
Archer: um, we weren't invited back to Comic Con. it's not looking good for Season 11...

* if the mirror smiles back at you, is it a mirror?...

* Krieger: throw a fork at it...okay it only works with a spork...
Cheryl: i'm done...sorry, delayed reaction.

* Cheryl: i have fillings...in my vagina...(i also have feelings in my vagina)

* Cheryl: *muffled* having my head in here reminds me of that San Francisco sex dungeon i went to...

* Lana: Archer...no ideas with Cheryl when she's in this vulnerable position, okay?

* Malory: ghosts or magnets, what doth life?
Malory: the only ghost is me...

* Archer: that's a pretty neato scanner you got there, it can do everything!
Krieger: thanks Obama Picard.

* Ray: so what was it like in there?
Cheryl: *munching down on some Wild Berry Froot Loops* oh yeah, so we're all in Archer's dream right now...

* Cyril: before we all eat, let us give grace to the Rain Replicant…*dove flies in space*...

* Krieger: i need a shitload of sanitizing wipes......i eat a lot of barbecue chicken...Kansas-City-style...
Pam: DIBS ON RIBS!!!

* Cyril: *dismissive laugh* what's with the gun?
Ray: it's a silver pistol, i'm doing my best Errol Flynn impression.

* Archer: want me to push you into this locker, Cyril?
Cyril: no, i'll take the foothole, high-school trauma is too much to bear again. i couldn't sing when the basketball players came over.
Archer: whoa! you're a space whore, Lana!
Lana: what the? i'm just wearing my office clothes!
Archer: i'm starting to see things.
Lana: i told you, Vanquish, not Vicodin.

* Michael Gray: i'm Tv's Michael Gray.
Archer: what's a tv?
Michael Gray: you know, i'm related to Linda Gray, the famed '80s voiceover artist?
Archer: like Care Bears?
Michael Gray: NOW we're communicating!

* Pam: wait, is the monster dreaming of Fat Coke Pam or is it the other way around?

* Lana: damn dude! i never thought this show would get so violent against women in this time! next time, let's just read the nudie magazine together! oh, and we're definitely getting a divorce!

* Adam Reed: let's slip in a couple of "space phrasing" jokes in this intense section to lighten the mood.
Pam: what's the code!!?
Krieger: my birthday! but i don't have a birthday! i'm a clone!
Cheryl: hey, so you're a Ken doll, right? no probs, just grow two penises...

* Pam: this is so sad. under other circumstances, i'd take that tit grab as a marriage proposal from you, Archer.
Archer: *weird eyes*
Pam: how do you like them apples?
Archer: Adam's apples?

* me: now we know this whole time MALORY was the one in charge!
Malory: HBIC...…...i don't even know what that millennial term means…

* spoiler: George Coe has been alive this whole time...
George Coe: spoiler: Archer was really Robert De Niro this whole time...