Power Rangers Super Ninja Steel "Reaching the Nexus"

notes:

* Chip Lynne: FINALLY this show is over!
Madame Odius: hey. i was a good character, your writers were cowards. i could have done something revolutionary, like be a female villain who at the same time is also for #MeToo and who had experienced sexual assault in the workplace.
Chip: it's a kid's show.
Odius: exactly. the only hope this world has is the younger generation. i'm trying to save the Earth here you know. "Reaching the Nexus"? that's the best you could do for this epic finale?
Chip: it was better than "Nexus Power."
Odius: it should have been called "Odius: Study of a Woman".

* doomy voiceover guy at the beginning: omg that was fun! i've never had to say so many strange words in my life!

* Chip: just......before we start...i asked for an hour and was denied, so, you know...

* Odius: i am triumphant! i am Hitler at that armistice with the railcar and everything.
Chip: it's a kid's show.
Odius: oh, sorry. Badonna, what's taking so long?
Badonna: the stupid humans are marching instead of just running to their spot.
Odius: they're like cattle. cattle to be sucked up by UFO beams.

* Badonna: okay, you've reached onboard inside the ship, you can stop marching now, it's creepy.
Odius: they look like gooses.

* Hayley: OMG they killed Calvin!
Sarah: he's mindcontrolled, that's all. let's go rescue the other humans who are not already lost like Calvin.
Hayley: he's Catholic so he'll be fine. wait, is the beam supposed to affect the entire world or just our town?
Chip: budget. it's supposed to be the whole world but......well we don't have all the budget in the world now do we.
Hayley: next time vote republican.

* Sarah: what are you doing?!
Hayley: my boyfriend. i feel i turned him into this with my rejection.
Sarah: hey, women get enough hate without adding this, let's not pile on and Ariana Grande this thing.
Hayley: without Calvin with me what's the point of saving the world? I DID IT ALL FOR LOVE!!!
Sarah: do you think they'll recognize us without our Ranger gear on?
Hayley: yes. every New York actor looks the same when they're on line.
Sarah: yeah, that's the thing: what do New Yorkers say when they're waiting at the Apple Store? online or on line?

* Odius: oh you are such a good little boy, Mick! lead us to your secret hideout.
Mick Kanic: yes, mistress.
Odius: oooh, i like that! what are you doing later this century? we've got all the time in the world.
Redbot: have to hurry! dammit! this suitcase buckle won't budge! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
*EXPLOSION*
Redbot: stop! malfunction! malfunction!
Mick: is that all you have to say to me? after all those times i fixed you!? saying malfunction won't help!

* Victor Vincent: we refuse to be your clowns any longer!
Cosmo Royale: wanna play with my balls?
Monty: *puppy-dog wag of his head*

* Odius: wait, the Nexus was here this whole time!? why didn't anyone tell me!?
Redbot: oh shit, i'm not feeling so well. i've got the Bumblebee fever. ALL HAIL MEGATRON i didn't mean that!!! *tries to cover mouth but realizes his robot arm is missing...*

* Sarah: oh, i get it, i see how it is, this is gonna be the ladies teaming up and saving the day, i love it! FOR MADAME ODIUS!!!
Chip: also, there's this thing onboard the ship that prevents you from changing into your Ranger gear cos budget.

* Sarah kicks ass.
Sarah: yeah i do. i beat all those men with just my ass! i defeated them with just my plainclothes karate, i don't even need to be a Ranger anymore, i'm that good!
bunch of burly men take care of the rest.
Sarah: who the fuck are you guys horning in on my territory and shining feminist moment?
men: we're the extras and heavies on set you never see on film, the stuntmen and the ones who wear all the ridiculous rubber costumes.
Victor and Monty: and our bodyguards. we can't be seen roaming around New Zealand or we'll get killed.

* Hayley: you hit me, Calvin! we're breaking up again!
Calvin: i cannot let you cross the streams. shoot me in the face if you must but not the hair, please, don't touch the hair. you'd do this to your only lover?
Hayley: i've got the gun this time. woman power!...……...no, move your face, i'm aiming for the beam.

* Calvin: what was i thinking? i could NEVER get a girl as hot as you again! you've got the phattest butt i've ever seen.
Hayley: it was my fault, honey.
Calvin: no me. i didn't take feelings into consideration like a good millennial. next time you ask me for my opinion, i will stay silent.
Hayley: i want an honest man, those are the sexiest kind. Calvin honey, do these white jeans make my butt look fat?
Calvin: *pinching Hayley's cheeks* let's go save the world, chubby-cheeks.
Hayley: ya big goof.

* Calvin: now Victor and Monty, we need YOU to save humanity, cos the Rangers are all at their dayjobs.
Victor: sure. if me and Monty get to be the Gold and Silver Rangers.
Calvin: whatever you want, i mean you two are PROBABLY gonna be in the Christmas special, right?

* Victor: hey bad guys, boom voyage!
Monty: yeah yippee ki yay motherfuckers!!!
Chip: HAHA!!! I DID IT! i made Victor and Monty the heroes of this show! this is for all the guff for two years! suck it, redditors!!!

* Dad: i am NOT your father.
Brody: we know, dad, you're mindcontrolled.
Dad: no i mean i am so incensed over what you did to your mother!
Levi: what do you mean?
Brody: i didn't do anything to her! in fact...…….yeah what happened to our mother? she was never mentioned.
Dad: i will KILL you boys for what you did to her! i am not your father anymore!
Levi: what? we just kissed her.
Dad: yeah you kissed her alright...

* Odius: that's fine craftsmanship, slave.
Mick: i aim to please on the star, ma'am.
Odius: no i mean your butt.
Mick: i meant icky cookie.

* Mick: i'm not much into fighting, so i'm leaving now and my fixing of Redbot will be offscreened.
Dad: speaking of offscreened, i guess i'll go search for our mother. hope she isn't dead or it'll be a waste.

* Calvin: i love you, Hayley. till the world explodes.
Hayley: Degrassi reference, nice.
Mick: um, are you planning to do something, Calvin? something i should know about?
Calvin: *strokes his mustache* only something dastardly: i'm gonna declare love in this wretched world. let's fuck, Hayley.
Chip: kid's show. we won't even allow a kiss between a long-standing couple.
Sarah: which is weird cos we film porn here at night.
*Calvin and Hayley sit down and fuck*

* Odius: this is my true form! I AM AIZEN-BUTTERFLY!!!
Chip: *taps his watch* hey guys, we got, like, one minute for this the final boss battle, so let's hurry this along.
Preston: okay, i hope my magic works at this crucial and critical time this time.
Chip: we'll fix it in post if it doesn't. CGI isn't a four-letter word to me.

* principal: well shit, i didn't get ONE line this entire last episode!
mayor: sucker.
Victor: we did it, Monty! i got my 50th trophy!
Monty: Victor, you're not holding the trophy, you're holding me...

* Rangers: wow, that Nexus Star is turning into a Beast and flying away...
Redbot: fucking rock monster, good riddance.
Rangers: so that's it. do we stay friends?
Rangers: nah. let's go our separate ways, the world is a cold and lonely place…

* Rangers: so you're STAYING, Mick???!
Mick: of course. what could be more interesting than teaching metalshop at a community college? outer space adventures, pashaw……………………….plus my parents are dead but i didn't want to ruin the mood…

* Sledge: so there WILL be a Christmas special, right?
Chip: seems likely.
Sledge: you better not Doctor Who us! my girlfriends are coming to this party.
Chip: Poisandra?
Sledge: that's my wife, i'm talking about bringing Victor and Monty.
Chip: Sledge, buddy, Victor and Monty are wearing clown makeup, they're not girls.