Power Rangers Super Ninja Steel "Doom Signal"

notes:

* Madame Odius: hey! this episode was gonna be titled "Under Odius's Spell"! that's sexist!
Chip Lynne: the title we went with appeals more to boys...……………...oh, yeah, sorry, now i see what you mean...we got so many alternate titles i lost count...

* Brody: previously...………..on Super Ninja Steel.....
Chip: hey Brody, that was good! you do your best acting when it's offscreened.

* SPOILERS: this episode is like 75% battle, there's hardly any dialogue and characterization, so this may be a short review.

* Odius: oooh, i like the new set, so futuristic and open-air!
Chip: we went to the House of the Book...……..and took a picture of it.
Mick: i'm almost done with the repairs. your car should be running in working order clean-as-a-whistle in no time. why didn't you ask Calvin to do this?
Badonna: oh i got plans for that surfer! he's gonna be my rebound when i dump Brax cos he dies.
Chip: goddammit.
Badonna: oh, sorry.
Odius: what you get.

* Mick: yaas queen, i'm wondering...
Odius: yes, cabana boy?
Mick: nobody will EVER want to watch this Power Rangers show i mean monster show, it's after Halloween.
Odius: it won't be monsters, it'll be humans. i'm gonna create my space army of invading hordes out of human flesh!
Mick: are humans really that gullible and stupid?
Odius: let's just say i already know Tuesday's results.

* Brody and Levi: thanks for dropping us off, dad.
Dad: aren't you boys a little old to be dropped off? i mean aren't you guys like 30 or something?
Levi: hey Dad, what do you do when you're not dropping us off? you're not a ninja anymore, so...
Dad: Trader Joe's.

* talent scout: i'm the talent scout. i'm not fat, the stage adds ten pounds. i can act skinny. i wear these shades cos i'm blind, makes it easier for me to evaluate talent.

* Hayley: where are my props?
Calvin: sorry, babe, i had to go surfing in the morning. Pearl Jam and Jeremy were there.
Hayley; goddammit!
Chip: i know, right?
Hayley: i'm squarely blaming YOU, Calvin Cheeto, if i don't become rich and famous.
Chip: Power Rangers is one of those middling shows. there's no guarantee it'll be a springboard.
Calvin: it's fine, honey, just use this box of props from Carrot Top. every prop is the same.

* Hayley: Romeo, Romeo...
talent scout: you know this is a comedy, right?
Hayley: i was going for the poison scene as dark comedy.
talent scout: it SOUNDS bad.
Hayley: but i'm hot.
talent scout: it would have worked if you had props. like a Romeo on stage with you.
Hayley: i'm not on speaking terms with my Romeo at the moment.
talent scout: here, use this prop: it's a glass decanter of vinegar for the poison. family heirloom.
Hayley: i get it, i need to eat more salads if i want to get roles.

* Monty: sorry, Victor, it was a reflex.
Chip: that's my best written line all two seasons!
Victor: this is very similar to my role as a doctor in the porn we film here at night.
Monty: HELP VICTOR! my legs are sandwiched together and it hurts!!!
Victor: but it's just prop-legs, right?
Monty: THERE ARE NO PROPS!!!

* talent scout: congrats, you guys are gonna be famous…for fifteen minutes.

* Sarah: OMG they kidnapped Victor and Monty!
Hayley: i don't care, let them go, nobody liked them anyway.
Calvin: damn, girl, you cold. that still gets me hot.

* Badonna: goddammit! i never got to fuck Brax!
Odius: why not?
Badonna: he always had his armor on. his emotional armor.

* Victor: lady i will NOT be a clown my whole life!
Badonna: chill, my dudes. those falling maces are just rubber. huge space-cat toys. this is all make-believe, like Mister Rogers.
Odius: my father was Mister Rogers. we had a falling-out...

* Odius: yes, that's it, you stupid Earthlings! that's it, fall under my spell. befall yourselves into oblivion! get bedeviled and entranced and hypnotized, shocked by the fact Nickelodeon would allow such a lame show to broadcast on its airwaves...

* Brax: I DID IT ALL FOR LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* Calvin: what do you want from me, lady!? i told you my honest opinion, you just didn't like it!
Hayley: have you heard of support?
Calvin: i pay every month, lady! you want the honest truth?
Hayley: yeah!
Calvin: child out of wedlock, i don't get down like that.
Hayley: what? how can a surfer be a Catholic?
Calvin: hey Hay, fishers of men. surfers of men. we cruise for men.
Hayley: oh yeah!? well, well, i wish you had died and Heath Ledger had lived!!!

* Sarah: hey girl, can i take you aside for some girl talk?
Hayley: what.
Sarah: it's just...…...you can't act, girl, never could, you were born to be a stay-at-home mom.
Hayley: thanks, girl.
Sarah: and you know i fucked Calvin last night, right? just getting it all out there, clearing all the air.
Hayley: you always cheer me up with your words. imma call him...that bro bitch already blocked me!!!
Sarah: in Power Rangers, nobody ever stays broken up for long. the lesson here is that you should always STAY in a relationship no matter what forever.

* Calvin: i didn't block Hayley, i just can't do the Home Unlock slide thing. hey what are you guys watching?
Chip and company: bloopers reel, the only good thing from every season.
Calvin: this is so sad. it's making my eyes red from crying.

* Redbot: hey have you guys seen Mick? he's the one with the remote.
Rangers: he's been gone a long time. let's ask the Principal.
Principal: turn away now. go back to where you came from. in your case, Preston, that will require swimming.
Preston: not cool, lady.
Principal: watch tv. preferably something educational. like Connect with English with that ginger Rebecca who has no soul like the rest of us don't now.

* Mick: hey, do you always watch a little Monty Python before you go to bed, too?
Odius: of course, my cabana-bot. you're not as muscular as i'd expect from a mechanic, but you do got a nice bubble-butt.
Mick: i eat a LOT of pizza.

* Preston: Rangers! avert your eyes! don't look, turn away! Mick is on his knees about ready to perform a sex act on Madame Odius!

* Rangers: do we really need to save the Earth? are humans worth saving?
the Rangers teleport away into space, never seen nor heard from again.

* Brody: hey! what's with the close-up of Sarah as the last shot? i thought i was the leader.
Chip: look at those lips!