Power Rangers Super Ninja Steel "Attack of the Galactic Ninjas"

learned:

* looking back, title should have been more about what this was about, "Romeo and Juliet: The Soap Opera" or something

* Calvin: who's the necklace for?
Preston: Calvin, i fucked your girlfriend.
Calvin: ............
Preston: see? i could get away with it, too. nobody would ever believe me.

* Hayley: Sweetness...
Calvin: what's all that about?
Hayley: Walter Payton, a hero of mine. he was afraid to die.
Calvin: i don't believe you! how would kids our age know who Walter Payton is?

* Cosmo: here are the new characters! Wolverine or something? i already forgot their names.

* Chip Lynne: i cast myself as the stereotypical brusque and regretful school-play director who languishes stuck in this dead-end job with unappreciative no-name talents and wishes he were still on Broadway! pretty perfect and appropriate huh.
Calvin: ..............
Chip: i called for me to be hammy, too, but nobody in the history of earth is hammier than Victor.

* whoa, this is freaky, it's like Romeo and Juliet but none of Shakespeare's lines are used, it's watered- and dumbed-down American patter from the writers, weird as hell.

* Victor Vincent: don't you want the best actors for the production?
Chip: the strange thing is you're a better actor pretending to be Romeo than you are the real-life Chris Sean Reid playing Victor.

* theatre director Chip: you're the understudy. if something happens to Preston...
Monty: can we kill him?
theatre director Chip: at least make it poetic and apt to the play. poison him or something.

* Calvin: where're you going, Hayley?
Hayley: late for class!
Calvin: that's bullshit! this is a school! this is a place of cheating!

* Levi: why are you picking at your food, Calvin?
Calvin: this potato salad tastes like shit.

* Calvin: i can't believe she kissed him! she called him Romeo for some out-of-the-blue reason. odd, she's never called me or anyone else Romeo before.
Sarah: Chip made me wear these Lycra pants huh.

* Brody: cool underground lair! cool talking robot! can you teach me how to punch and kick?
Levi: my brother, you need to learn how to do many many things.

* Mick: spit it out.
Calvin spits in Mick's face.

* Mick: that's a sticky situation.
Calvin: please, Mick, i don't want to hear about your cum. i don't want to hear about how you're getting off to this.

* Brody: what are you looking at?
Sarah: my booty on Instagram. without Lycra pants on.
Brody: wow. want to be in a non-kissing relationship?

* Chip: give me credit. it's no Tommy-and Kim-tongue, but i got a kiss on the cheek past the censors.

* Calvin: so the dropping the wrench on your toe thing was acting?
Mick: Shakespearean roots. don't remind me. i shoulda been in your school play.

* Levi: what are these new bots?
Cosmo: already forgot their names. looks like the writers had an all-night Miyazaki-and-ghost-pepper-pizza session in Chip's office before dawn broke on the day the script had to be in.

* Mick: yeah, i'm gonna leave the fighting to you. i'm but a cowardly mechanic. you know i'm the only one in this little startup company that has insurance.
Rangers: insurance? we're kids, we can't afford insurance.
Mick: i know, i'm the adult in the room. just realize everytine you go out there and fight you guys aren't covered for workplace compensation if you get injured on the job.

* Levi: you aren't stealing my memories again! Chip wanted to but Saban stopped it putting out an official statement saying we already did that.

* Odius: here i am. sigh. maybe next episode.

* on stage:
Preston: Calvin, i fucked Hayley.
Calvin in the audience: what?
Preston: Calvin, you like my acting? Hayley likes it raw.
Calvin: what?
Hayley waking up from her eternal slumber: raw vegetables and fruits.

* Mick: i always cry at weddings.
Sarah: shoot water in my face to evince real tears, that's how they muzzle me on the porn set.

* Calvin: i've been such an idiot. i jumped to conclusions.
Hayley: white men can't jump. you're cute when you're jealous.
Calvin: you have green skin.

* Levi: okay, i'm ready for my close-up! ready to be in this school play!
Mick: you're dressed in that green costume from last week.
Levi: i'm Old Gregg!

* Victor: WE'RE IN SOUTH AFRICA???????!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Monty: not cool to shriek like that, dude, South Africa's racial tensions have quelled quite a bit through the decades.
Victor: where's Simba?

* so i guess Romeo and Juliet is copyrighted?