Power Rangers Super Ninja Steel "Echoes of Evil"

learned:

* this sucks. not the show. just this. this in general. all of this.

* Sledge: why did we survive? it makes no scientific sense! were the toy sales really that bad?
Chip Lynne: see i wanted to do this clever thing where instead of a Ranger from the past season making an appearance we get the villains of the past season to come back. mixes it up.
Sledge: does this mean my marriage to Poisandra is annulled? please.

* Odius: finally! it takes this age of MeToo to finally get a strong female monster as the lead villain. who are you?
Shinigami: just think of me as your Shinigami. from TMNT? same network.
Odius: and you?
Poisandra: Poisandra.
Odius: you are my other bitch. it's good to be king.
Sledge: oh thank you, kind madam. i am at your service. i've been trying everything to get that battleaxe off me.
Poisandra: you said you wanted me to craft a battleaxe for you, you bastard! well the joke's on you! i'm gonna use this battleaxe to kill you!
Sledge: easy easy, calm down, babe, the sex was fantastic. even when we realized our body parts don't fit together.

* Sledge: you like rocks, honey?
Poisandra: god yes.
Sledge: i got the perfect rock to drop you off on.

* Cosmo: let's start this show up again!
Odius: but why? for fuck sake why? what even is the point?
Cosmo: veg out. lay like broccoli.

* Shinigami: the Super Ninja Steel...
Odius: please, i can't take you seriously if you use the word "Super." just call it Purple Stuff.

* Rangers: hey everybody! welcome back to school! we all had pretty uneventful summers.
Pink: not me. i fucked every single person who lives in this town. i didn't want to, but everyone kept saying i looked like a porn star.

* Dad: ah the memories. i remember coming this school 20 years ago.
the brothers: don't you mean "coming to", dad?
Dad: no, coming. i came here as a janitor. i came all over the woman who is now your Principal. have you ever wondered why you get straight As despite never being around on test days cos you're fighting intergalactic crime?

* Victor and Monty: Billy Mays here. with this new glue stick, i mean Fabreze stick you, too, can ward off monsters. we're rich and back in our Sherlock Holmes getup for still some reason. here's a million dollars, Principal.
Principal: who do you think you are, Robert Redford?

* Rangers: hey! Mick! back so soon?
Mick: i accidentally burned my entire hometown down fiddling where i shouldn't have been fiddling. ancient space city full of untold history, shame. i'm gonna lay off the experiments awhile if you don't mind, can't help you. that Lioness girl from before is dead. my parents disowned me.
Rangers: can we ride the space taxi?

* Brody: i've been working on my acting in the interim.
Country Singer: what?
Brody: can't you tell?

* Mick: is it Prism Nexus or Nexus Prism? anyway it's damaged, shattered in the middle like my broken heart.
Pink: want a sympathy fuck? i hate seeing you like this, Mick.
Mick: *crying* i, uh, got rejected by Neighbours. they said i had the talent but not the look. not the look they were going for. so it seems this is the only work i'm ever gonna find. i'm not gonna be the next Paul Hogan.

* Australian woman: the Monster Repellent Stick is a sham! i'm most likely a huge star on an Australian soap but this is the first you Americans are seeing of me. not naked anyway.

* Principal: well well well, you're a couple of hucksters. reminds me of my stupid virginity-taker janitor boyfriend here at this school. turns out he was a professional virginity-taker. i got taken. he claims he disappeared. disappeared my ass in a skirt.
Victor and Monty: PLEASE let us come back to school and complete our edumacation.
Principal: fine. here are your syllabi.
Victor: syllabi?
Principal: syllabuses?
Monty: fuck that mess. education is too hard. i'm gonna become a prison tattoo-artist. Australia is crawling with prisoners.

* Pink: look at my ass in these jeans. ridiculous. my ass is so phat i got TWO phones, one for each buttock cheek.

* Pink: *pinching nose* what stinks!?
Mick: it smells like your vagina when you fucked me.
Pink: yeah well at least i don't got a leprechaun taint.

* oh, that's a cool Surfboard Zord tho