The Venture Bros. "The Bellicose Proxy"

notes:

* another stellar James Bond title

* Sirena: what's super science?
Dean: science for nerds.

* Brock: i used to be cool. then everyone figured out i look like Trump.

* is slice-of-life Venture Bros. as epic as epic Venture Bros.?

* Monarch: we're teachers. we don't need to enroll.

* Watch and Ward: every room in here was once a bathroom.

* Watch and Ward: we signed up for the Devil's Threesome but a lowlevel named Monty got the job lucky bastard.
Monty: i practiced by watching that Texas teacher orgy scandal online.

* S-464: you'll never break me. not even with your hypnotic blue eyes.
Sheila: first comes the butter. then the cheese. then the fat. then the powdered sugar...
S-464: MAKE IT STOP! scary. i am glucose-intolerant and intolerant of all foods.
Sheila: and then, y'know, the caged mask over the nose and about the eyes and we lock the cage and lock in on your eyes and send the rats in.
S-464: this will be a pleasure. George Orwell was my distant cousin thanks to 23 and Me.

* Sheila: the mission is clear, retrieve this mellon-collie eternally-sad man's woman. if i know anything about arching, it's the woman's mind.
S-464: are you making fun of my head?

* Monarch: hey Gary, i'm on a boat!
Gary: dead meme. oh look, i recognize this ship! it had that glassbottom for parties.
Monarch: what exactly is the glassbottom for? to see your doom and demise?
Gary: why do they paint the bottom of boats?
Monarch: Gary, are you sure you could be doing something with your life? i mean other than in costume? you seem smart enough to write for a blog.

* Gary: whatever happened to Roy Scheider?
Monarch: got eaten by that big fish.

* St. Cloud: i'm St. Cloud. i never got over the fact they said i was too short and fat to be a Final Fantasy hero. want to help me remove my rubber panties?
Monarch: panties are by definition meant to be lacey.

* St. Cloud: like my new costume?
Monarch: it's not the clothing that's the problem, it's your voice.
Gary: thanks, St. Cloud! nobody listens to my voice anymore! you're my favorite arch!

* dressing-room montage set to Rocky music.
Sheila: no. no. no. YES! no.
S-464 takes off his head.
Sheila: whoa, that's a little too radical even for San Francisco! where'd you come up with that look?
S-464: Carlos Reygadas. the ending of Post Tenebras Lux that to this day no one has the fuckingest clue what the hell that movie was about other than the rugby stuff which is evident.

* Billy: i'm scared of these boilerplate death threats! there's a boilerplate in my head! that's why i talk funny.

* Brock: no bathroom is safe from a bullet to the back. never go to the bathroom again.

* Monarch: we just happen to be training on a tennis court............you know i've never felt more powerful than when i sit here up high on this chair umpire's chair. i feel like a big baby.

* St. Cloud: of course all of this gas is coming from my small butt.
Monarch: you should have named yourself Red Swan. that's a good Hyde song that everyone inexplicably pisses on.

* Sean Connery: do not make me repeat my views on women on your face! i'm James Bond!
Mrs. Sean Connery: i'm ready to brawl with you, St. Cloud! i took my Ensure this morning.
St. Cloud: please, madam, don't drink that chalky dank milk, it transformed Jamie Lee Curtis from a hot gilf to an old woman with white hair.

* Monarch: what is your power?
St. Cloud: inherited wealth. some might call it presidential.
Monarch: sigh, that beats mine, which is Never Giving Up.

* St. Cloud: i've never laughed in my life. much less menacingly.
Monarch: pretend this tennis ball is your balls and your arch is the chair umpire and you're John McEnroe.
St. Cloud: be the ball?
Monarch: no, watch The Venture Bros., it's hilarious.

* Watch and Ward: hacking. it's basically just typing. but more like playing Tetris while typing.

* Kimberly McManus: you converted this Nerf gun into a real gun? that's just sick. you're under arrest for ruining childhoods!

* Sheila: okay, toots, put up your dukes. girlfight, that's what everyone here came to see. you know i brought the mud, let's do this thang. i'm gonna kick your big beautiful rounded butt!
Kimberly: i'm pleased to learn a woman is appreciating my awesome ass, makes it easier to accept the compliment. Power Ranger mode activate!

* Pete: where'd you get the gas?
St. Cloud: The Joker when he hung up his evil laugh.
Pete: he's not a villain anymore?
St. Cloud: no, he met Bruce at an earlier age and they became thunder buddies.

* S-464: explain to me the meaning of love.
Kimberly: wanna fuck?

* Sheila: i'm sorry, Monarch, i cannot be with you anymore.
Monarch: why, beloved?
Sheila: i'm like your teacher at that school, we don't want another Texas thing. plus i've fallen for another. Alex Trebek looks really hot with that salt-n-pepa Grizzly Adams beard.