Power Rangers Super Ninja Steel "Fan Frenzy"

notes:

* it should have been called "Fan Furry"

* hey, not all stalkers are men...

* Chazz: being your fan saved me from suicide.
Levi: that's a lot of pressure, man, i'm just a lukewarm cowboy singer, you know?
Chazz: this thing you signed for me...
Levi: ...that was my manager. i'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, kid, but your Instagram is a lie.

* agent: i'm offering you a million dollars for the chili-burger deal of a lifetime!
Levi: do i get those pants, ma'am?
agent: the only catch is you have to eat a million chili-bugers. you're gonna be fat from now on. fat and happy.

* agent: YOU want the contract?
Victor Vincent: i'll take it! what do i have to do?
Monty: Devil's Threesome with you? *puppy tongue*
agent: burger porn.
Victor: porn is so passe. we see porn being produced here every night. nobody pays for porn anymore.
agent: it's a tough business, kid, do you want to be rich or do you want to be famous?

* Mick: leave me alone now, Calvin, i want to be alone in my happy place.
Calvin: you don't have to hide in a hardware store, Mick, you have a home, you have a family.
Mick: you guys don't make me feel welcome there.
Calvin swats the spy fly without knowing it, thus ending the episode.

* Dreadwolf: don't take those out of me! I WANT MY FLAWS!!! I WANT MY FLEAS!!!

* Rangers: are you okay, Mick?
Mick: no. no i am not okay. my parents are dead. i'm a teacher. my life sucks.

* Rangers: what are you gonna teach us today in metalshop, Mick?
Mick: about all of those new feelings your body is having...

* Chazz: hey man, just one selfie.
Levi: in a hurry but okay. i won't give you any way for you to distribute it online, though.
Chazz: so this selfie is worthless, why'd we even take it? sharing is caring.

* Chazz: hey man, autograph a bunch of this swag shit so i can pawn them.
Levi: look, man, i know you don't have any friends. nobody has any friends!!! EVERYBODY'S FRIENDS ARE IMAGINARY!!!

* Sarah: what's wrong with Mick? i can't tell the difference, he's always hairy. he always looks like a werewolf.
Hayley: i like men with hairy chests. like those alpha males sitting up in bed in '80s movies after sex.
Calvin: not cool, girl, you know i need my chest clean like a bottom to surf.

* Madame Odius: Halloween episode?
Chip Lynne: don't start that up again, witch.

* Dreadwolf: not even close! i mean NOT EVEN CLAWS!!!
Brody: you're just a dog!
Dreadwolf: you call your mom a bitch with that mouth? a dog is just a wolf who was shown love.

* friends: we'll only be friends with you if you do indeed know Levi. think of us as real instagram friends.

* Victor: this is not the SHOOT i was anticipating...

* Chip Lynne: cut. yeah i'm not sure we can do the whole teenage werewolf thing, copyright.
Victor: it's okay, Chip, i'm a teen but i have no attitude.

* Chazz: now that i'm a werewolf, i've broken out of my shell! i've GAINED CHAZZ CONFIDENCE!!!

* Levi: i'm sorry, son. i was a bitch. without you fans i'm like Burt Reynolds without his Gator Mansion. how can i make it up to you? tell me.
Chazz: sing.
Levi starts singing.
Chazz: *HOWL!!!* OW! my ears!!! that song is so bad it hurts my now-sensitive ears!!!

* Calvin swings his girlfriend around and uses her like a mace-and-chain weapon.
Hayley: FINALLY! finally you do something with me that's hot and that can be repeated in bed! this wife-carrying game is sexy!

* Dreadwolf: bow before the power of my vines! i heard you coming! through the grapevine!
Preston: Vine is dead!

* agent: i don't get it. we got the celebrities, why aren't our chili-burgers selling?
Chip: it's because your buns are white.

* Victor: damn you, Monty, why must you always pour cold water on my dreams? i was just about to audition for the "Thriller" video.
agent: good news, 1 million dollars. bad news, it's 1 million New Zealand dollars so it's practically worthless.
Victor: look, i like you. you're like the milf i never knew i wanted. those baggy pants make your butt look big. you look like my mom so if i fucked you it would bring in a lot of new feelings of excitement. but i can't. i can't right now. i'm saving myself. for Monty.

* Levi: hey man, we're friends now. the lesson is, if you're a fan, stalk until you become part of the inner circle. just one favor?
Chazz: anything!
Levi: write and sing my next song.