The Venture Bros. "The High Cost of Loathing"

notes:

* Rusty: Malcolm?
Monarch: yeah, so?
Rusty: as in in the Middle?
Monarch: yeah, so?
Rusty: wanna play the Circle Game?
Monarch: Circle Game?
Rusty: it involves my nuts.

* Sheila shakes the Monarch.
Sheila: time to wake up, honey. honey, get it?
Monarch: bitch don't wake me up when i'm having one of my dreams where i'm somebody!
Sheila: oooh, i love it when you talk like a man.

* Monarch: ALL I SEE UNDER MY SEAT ARE OLD SPICE LUXURY PRODUCTS!!! POMADE AND STUFF!!! IT'S RAINING!!! MAYDAY!!!
Sheila: sir stay with me!!!

* Monarch: uranium yada yada yada. does this ocean liner in the fog remind anyone of something?
Gary: that X-Files episode.
Monarch: *stroking chin* no, Smilla's Sernse of Snow. yeah, that's it, Smilla.

* The Hudsucker Proxy, that's gotta be the most-unique film title ever, huh?

* corporate board: so you invented bubbles? never take the glass shard out of your body, leave it in there indefinitely.

* Dean: why do i have to go to college? i already have a bed here!
Rusty: that's a very cogent question, Dean, you'll do fine in college. i know, it's a waste of time, but parents can't tell the kids that or the whole system falls apart. now did you remember your progrock brown box?
Dean: *gothily* yeah.
Rusty: atta boy. Dean, you'll be fine in this life as long as you listen to progrock LP records and learn from them.

* Hank: i got my own place, baby, come over.
Sirena: but it's still your father's house, babe. save your T Shirt, send it to the T Shirt Club.

* Monarch: this fucking mansion is a money pit! why did i get it in the first place!
Sheila: you said it reminded you of The Munsters, your favorite show as a kid. tell me, which Marilyn did you prefer? i'll dye my hair that blonde our next roleplay.
Monarch: Monroe of course! the answer is always Monroe! no i got this dump cos it had the secret library that only accessed if you pulled down on this candlestick light fixture in the wallpaper here, but it won't work unless we get the lightbulb changed!

* Dr. Z pops the Macy's balloon.
Dr. Z: i gave this lab a 10.
Gary: oh 10 out of 10? that sounds pretty good.
Dr. Z: no, 10 out of 100. and that score was graded on a curve.
Monarch: grading on a curve is for pussies.

* Dr. Drew: so you want a ridiculous loan but have no collateral?
Monarch: my collateral is your nuts.
Dr. Drew: what?
Monarch: for the Circle Game. what happened to you, Dr. Drew?
Dr. Drew: the losses started piling up. i mean nobody cared about Jeff Conaway, but once you start losing a founding member of Alice In Chains, people start to talk online. want some bank mints?
Monarch: I'M ROBBING THIS BANK!!! GIMME ALL YOUR MINTS IN THIS DUFFEL BAG!!!

* Dean: it's okay, Brock, i know of the pain you internalize everyday. you can let it all out with me, i won't tell a soul. i don't want to end up like you, Brock. are you gonna be my college roommate this semester? room with me? park the car in the room cos we have no garage?
Brock: this show isn't a sitcom, kid, it's a serious show about failure.

* Brock: whoa!
Brown Spiderman: it's okay, that Ripley Alien atrocity just above my butt is my second mouth, it's the only way i can eat the cafeteria food here.
Brock: yes but why must you eat naked? is this a Canadian snow thing?
Brown Spiderman: not cool, man, i'm poor, i can't afford both clothes and tuition.
Brock: where are you? you're never around when we need you in a fight.
Brown Spiderman: sewing my costume.

* Sirena: move it along, ex-boyfriend!
Brown Spiderman: okay, Sirena, i can take a hint.........but that one time wasn't my fault. it just all came out. all over you. that was my webbing, i swear!

* Dean: why did you kiss me just now?
Sirena: oh, i thought you were Hank. cute is cute, i can't you two brothers apart.
Dean: sibling rivalry is always the best plot device. and you have a nice ass underneath that coat.

* Hank: you're still busy?
Sirena: college doesn't consist of just one class, babe.
Hank: yes but why four long years?
Sirena: you're right. if you drill down, don't go to weekend toga parties, skip summer vacation, you could probably get a degree in like a year...

* Carl Sagan: so tell me, kid, how's the new guy doing?
Dean: he's not as cool as you were.........................and this has nothing to do with the fact that he's black.

* Hank: admit it, Pop, Dean was always your favorite!
Rusty in bed all cut up: where's the rent money!?
Hank: the nice Swedish couple i rented out my room to stole it from me.
Rusty: that's impossible, Hank!

* Dean: um, Sirena? i don't think those are gills on your neck. i think your ass is nice and you're real popular and those are several hickeys.

* Sirena: why do you hate superheroes and supervillains so much?
Dean: they are all costumed freakjobs! ever since i got that pint of Superman Ice Cream that thing's been a bane of my existence. a thorn in my side. it doesn't melt right, it gets soupy within seconds of contact with light, the lid doesn't fasten correctly, spilling all its sticky contents into my bottombarrel freezer shelf, the lowest basement one that can't be reached with a cloth. what a pain for just some vanilla ice cream and patriotic sprinkles!

* Carl Sagan: i have to transform into Kratos. everyone on adult swim has to, Robot Chicken had to for God of War promotions.

* Dean: *boner* i guess i do like science.

* Monarch: mind my beeswax. get it?
Sheila: who's that?
Monarch: i wish you could have met him.
Sheila: the dead butterfly?
Monarch: no, the real me. my name is Malcolm...