Justice League Action "She Wore Red Velvet"

notes:

* don't wanna!

* as i look at the changing-color star and all the heroes and villains in the intro with the triumphant trumpets, i can oly imagine the characters who were never used, the ones who could have been fleshed out more, and maybe a little less of that fire guy

* Booster Gold: Code 10, Batman, CODE 10!!!
Batman: Code Brown?

* Booster: *muttering under his breath* fucking Comic Con crowds, think they know it all, think they know everything about every continuity detail, think they can demand what the author writes, at least get naked. guys, too.

* Booster: strange, right? Batman's too busy for books, he's still crying over that letter. the radical thing about this gold book here is that it's a real gold brick you can melt down if you don't want to read it. you'll shit brix!
attractive woman: i thought you were Animal Man.
Booster: those British authors think they're so superior. i don't need no monkey. meet me after the show, miss. why are all the male Batman fans always fat schlubs in masks that don't fit their fat heads? and why do all of you look like the Scooby Gang?

* Booster: whoa. is your ass spongy like that cake?
Red Velvet: not Red Lantern. you were a terrible husband.
Booster: i was close with the Red.
geek: Elseworlds?
Red Velvet: they only did that Elseworlds imprint for the porn potential. down with the patriarchy!

* Booster Gold: don't take this the wrong way, it's coming from an attention whore, but you're looking for attention.

* Batman: sorry i'm late. oh...............there's a better library in my Batcave anyway.

* Wonder Woman: why haven't we ever heard of this Red Velvet before?
lowly writer: cos i just invented her. that's my singular accomplishment to all of pop culture, this is a completely original character not seen before in any DC media. wouldn't have happened were it not for this show. you're welcome.

* Green Arrow: Goldie, it is vital you divulge this information to the team. i'm asking this from you as a friend, do you pay for sex?

* Wonder Woman: philanthropist?
Booster: don't mock my religion. which is money.
Green Arrow: you'd think we'd get a better security system.
Krypto: get that SunSetter.

* Wonder Woman: it's Sunday. mail doesn't get delivered anymore thanks to the President. on any day.
Red Velvet: Lex Luthor?
Wonder Woman: sure if you want to be blind.
Booster: MJ? nobody's called me MJ since my music career. basketball career? anyway i prefer to be called Carter like that rapper.
Wonder Woman: i'm Carter.

* Booster: it's not Earth-shattering. it's just a volcano. okay, bad time i know but that computer voice is cute, is she seeing anyone?

* Wonder Woman: wait wait WAIT till i get in front of the plane!...
Green Arrow charges the boosters and incinerates Wonder Woman.

* Batman: this would be the time when the Tower would get destroyed swallowed up by the lava of the volcano and that's how the season would end on a cliffhanger...

* Wonder Woman: TAKE OFF MY ROBE!!! DIDN'T YOU SEE THE WW?!!
Booster: wonderful watchtower. i've never seen what i look like without my suit, i thought i had blond hair. you didn't read the books i sent you for Christmas!?
Wonder Woman: Christmas is stupid. start talking or i get my lariat.
Booster: *silence*

* Booster: there were still those awkwatd green trash bins in the year 2462. and then she strolled into my life. regular toilets were big in those days cos everyone was using the upside-down toilets. you couldn't miss her. you couldn't miss those tits! and she was carrying a signed copy of my book!

* Booster: i was a broke-ass who stole money from my mom. i robbed the very museum i worked at, there was no money cos it was a museum. the minister was a robot cos by then computers were the new god, not New God.
Red Velvet: much like the justice ministers of today.

* Booster: i'm not leaving you at the altar, this is a Jon Secada video!
Red Velvet: or Guns N Roses if i prefer.

* Wonder Woman: that's why you're a con artist.
Booster: no i'm that other kind of artist, the one who picks up chicks.
Green Arrow: are you proud of this little cartoon we made?
Booster: *sobbing inconsolably*

* Booster: you don't understand time-travel mechanics.
Wonder Woman: i understand the female mind.

* Green Arrow: dude, getting jilted at the altar is the worst pain a woman can ever suffer in life.
Wonder Woman: even more than my daughter.
Booster: what daughter?
Wonder Woman: exactly.

* Red Velvet: forget your suit! come out here naked. like you told those Con-goers. fair is fair.
Booster: your tits are like howitzer shells. they point true-north. can i be your pencil sharpener?

* *ding* Booster: my microwave cat casserole is done!

* Booster: pumpkin!
Red Velvet: where'd you go?
Booster: gonna have pumpkin pie instead of a wedding cake is that okay?

* Batman: i was Moriarty this whole time...

* Batman: i object to this wedding! i object to marriage as a general concept! hashtag swinglife

* Booster: come on, man. fellow man. don't we have rights, too?

* Booster: let's go down the list. property on Pluto the dog. we'd be the size of fleas. nuclear BBQ to prevent nuclear war. self-zipping pants are like chastity belts for superheroes.

* Red Velvet: he goes bald. and he's a lumberjack. a Monty Python lumberjack.
Booster: i'm allergic to rogaine.
Booster: oh yeah? well the superhero you was more shapely.
bride: you never told me you were into fat chicks.

* Booster: so the lesson is: true love doesn't exist. in fact it never existed.
Green Arrow: we should have built the Tower in space. myspace.
Batman: i checked. Red Velvet is gone. well she's not online she could still be alive.
Booster: who would ever voluntarily be off-the-grid? how could you be alive and not want to use a computer?

* Booster: you got Giganta's digits?
Batman: i think she's seeing someone.
Booster: get it? cos her hands are big. i'm into that sort of thing.
Lana from Archer: can i move in here? my show's on a sinking plane.

* i don't know how to feel. on the one hand it did get a nice full 52-episode run. on the other hand there are a BILLION other stories which could have been told. new characters. besides the cabbie. the wedding of Wonder Woman and Superman to solidify the fans' rage. Batman's Nobel Prize scuttled after accusations by Catwoman. and the GOTG crossover where Groot fucks Poison Ivy and finally says another phrase.

* i'll leave it at that. i won't ragequit. i love you all.