* first, let me finish on Florence (hey a man can dream): sorry about the foot, i didn't know. i always was aware of Florence's particular aura, i knew what she and her songs were about, her with the firebrand hair and frenetic spirit, of love, of relationships, but the two songs she performed on SNL gave me the opportunity to watch the music videos proper for these two songs. this was the first time i enjoyed two of her songs in their entirety. LOVED them. i always had a crush on Flo from afar but now my crush is fully-formed cos it has context. i can't keep "Ship To Wreck" out of my head, that's a good thing, been humming it whenever i'm not blogging. she's better than Flo from Progressive. Florence from the Machine is a lot younger than i thought she was, i thought she was one of those 50-year-old cougar milfs. ship to wreck, love that turn of phrase. the videos are quite impressive, full of high spirit and an actual spirit, an actual doppelganger of Florence fighting herself. who needs symbolism when you've got a real doppelganger? and her real beautiful breastststststststs?
* Inner White Girl: surprise surprise, this is Leslie Jones's best work to date and it gets cut for time. general rule of thumb: whatever gets cut for time is good. i get so mad that SNL never learns...i'm so angry...i'm steaming over here...okay...it's okay...my Inner White Girl is calming me down, explaining things to me rationally, i understand now that this is just the cost of business, it's not racist or anything, it is what it is. now it's my Inner White Girl that is getting angry but i've prepared for this: i've got a Starbucks PSL at the ready.
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* cold open: i've often wondered how SNL would fare if it were new during summer. it never gets to comment on anything that happens in summer and i'm sure lots of interesting things happen during summer. like i wonder how SNL would handle all the shit that goes down at Wimbledon each year. i mean that would be totally crazy to see.
* monologue: let me see if i have this straight: so there's this French McDonald's in Chino...
* so that's why the elves stay with Santa year after year.
* wood PSAs: the next time you get wood, think of the lumberjack.
* Rihanna: first song: note to self: do not ask RiRi for money.
second song: i pledge allegiance to the flag of RiRi and the Illuminati. if we're not careful, American oxygen will be dirtier than the oxygen around during the Roman Empire.
* could you hold onto a lie for five years? i could, i'm still blogging aren't i?
* police lineup: actors are the best. and they really do support each other like that. if they don't get the part, they want their friend to get the part. don't worry, there's always another audition.
* I Love Lucy: oh yes! this is my favorite show ever. it looks weird colorized. Lucy has brown hair. of course Lucy and Ethel were doing it. gal pals, that's what it was called back then.
* oh, before i forget, the short with Louis and Kyle cut for time, don't want you waiting all summer for my review of it: it was good. no, Kyle, you're not stupid. yes, i would like to hear Kyle's stance on living in a house for that's foreign to me, i don't live in a house, a house lives on me, i am an island.
* notice how Kenan Thompson and Vanessa Bayer were paired up for a lot of the skits tonight? not sayin jus sayin. UPDATE: so apparently NO ONE is leaving?!!!!!!!
* goodnights: RiRi wants a little milk in her milk.
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