Justice League Action "Race Against Crime"

learned:

* LOIS LANE! voiced by Gilbert Gottfried

* i remember a comic-story story very similar...

* Lex Luthor: i hate to let go of this milky silky leg, Diana, but there'll be other gal gams.

* Cyborg: there's nothing special about me! i'm just a citizen who cares! a senior citizen...

* Luthor: i had a Mount Rushmore joke but they wouldn't let me use it. i mean a joke from the film Rushmore and they wouldn't let me use it...

* ballsy to fit in a "one hour earlier" into 11 minutes

* FINALLY we get the episode where that promo is from! i always thought i missed something.

* the people of Metropolis act as if they've never seen Bruce Wayne out in the open...

* Lois: are you really the fastest man alive?
the Flash: i don't like to say that around the ladies. babe, you're hot but that's too much purple. it's clashing and my eyes are covered in white cloth.

* Lois: my man is faster than a speeding bullet.
the Flash: "bullet"? what do you mean? like bullet train? we got rid of guns years ago and the people are safe. sure, superheroes and everything but that's what really did it.

* Superman: Lois! did you do something with your hair? you were bald last time i saw you.
Lois: that was Lex.

* Lois: all this and a sense of humor, too.
Superman: i fucked Wonder Woman to prepare for the race. that's what they say, right? enervate yourself of all your energy and power fluids so you're on the starting line with an empty tank.

* Green Lantern: i only condone starting guns, kids.

* Flash: you like my butt?

* Superman: we just caused a massive global tsunami.
Flash: the surfers don't seem to mind. they're giving us the shaka. i think.

* Lois: we've attached GPS devices to our heroes so they'll never leave our sight. the government says this is easier than drones.

* Luthor: you like the place? i got it cheap after Gargamel died in a vat of magic Smurf acid.

* Chronos: why the hell do i sound like i have a hangover? what's my backstory? is there drinking in the family?

* Luthor: you're so exacting, Chronos. did you enjoy algebra as a kid?
Chronos: i was never a kid. is algebra a spelling word?

* Chronos: i made this suit from all the purple Lois Lane has lying around her apartment.

* Chronos: time, speed, it's all crack cocaine in the end.

* Luthor: well of course there's that whiny voice of yours.
Chronos: James Woods, buddy, just a heads up. want to get in on this preemptively? we all know the rumors that have swirled around you for decades.

* Luthor: PURPLE POWER RANGER!!! no aromatherapy this week. that's the only therapy i do.

* Chronos: you idiot! that was an endangered bird! what's next, elephants?

* Chronos: thank you, sonny. the young people today are too into their phones to help an elderly man climb under a bus. what's your name again?
Luthor: we'll talk later, pops. i am your son.

* Lois: they've just crossed the Rockies you know what that means...............marijuana...

* sideliner: damn you, Samsung! the only time i'm ever gonna capture Lex Luthor photobombing something i take and the damn picture turns out blurry!!!

* Superman: i just noticed. what's up wih your voice, Flash? is it just the speed? where's the other guy?

* Luthor: what happens when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force?
Flash: the Big Bang.

* Luthor: *singing and putting on a curly black wig and revealing see-through BDSM suit* if i could turn back time...

* Flash: why does all the action in all of these cartoons always end up at Star Labs? just what the fuck experimenting is going on at Star Labs?

* Flash: it's not a rock, it's a force.
Batman: Dwayne Johnson is both.

* the writers just got around this week to seeing Commando.

* Flash: you got a vibrator?
Superman: ask Lois.
Flash: friction's too much.
Superman: ask Diana.

* Batman: what i hold in my hand is an HP desktop. warning: the updates are KILLER long.

* Chronos. voiced by Gilbert Gottfried

* Flash: i just barely avoided Disney copyright there with that remark.

* Flash: booga-booga is racist.
Luthor: then why did you repeat it?

* Chronos: i feel so much better. all the anger has been drained from me.
Batman: wait till they set your bail.
Superman: way to go, Batman! he was reformed till you butted in!

* great episode. from start to finish. this show is back on top!

* *checks wikipedia* OH NO! IS THIS THE SERIES FINALE!!? i am sad. very sad.