The X-Files "Babylon"

learned:

* do i have to? i'd rather do the Gravity Falls finale......................so Dipper and Wendy didn't have sex right there on a pile of autumn leaves? nevermind then.

* man this script was all over the place. this script's picture is in the dictionary for the word "mood whiplash". hey remember those huge bulky dictionaries with the occasional picture of some definition every 15 pages or so? ah, books. i miss their smell.

* American: now what you o'there babblin' about? some bomb in yo shorts o something?
Muslim: i'm speaking proper English, you're just a redneck.

* i actually thought this would be about those poor souls catching fire after their ziggurat blew up from the terrorist bomb. they would remain alive despite their bodies covered in flame as they became avenging angels, divinely trumpeted in the background...

* Scully: you don't believe in God, do you, Mulder?
Mulder: i've touched the face of God.
Mulder touches Scully's face.

* Einstein: yes, it's just a coincidence that i have red hair. and yes it's just a coincidence that my last name is Einstein.
Scully: i'd do a "gingers unite" chant but i'm not so sure.
Mulder: this begs the existential question: is it really The X-Files if it's not Mulder and Scully?
Doggett and Reyes: it isn't. trust us, it isn't.
Mulder: i trust no one.

* Miller: stop shouting!
Einstein: oh so if a man shouts, it's strong, but if a woman shouts, it's grating?
Miller: i'm not a sexist but there is such a thing as overacting y'know. i'm not a sexist but have you noticed that the believer is the calm one while the nonbeliever is the hysterical one? i'm not a sexist but it's a good thing you're cute.

* nurse who switches off the terrorist's life support: i'm a nurse but i'm a Murican first...

* Mulder trips on shrooms and sees the Lone Gunmen at the club.
Mulder: i'm on drugs but i can still discern that this is not the "appearance" of the Lone Gunmen the fans wanted.
Mulder: i'm trippin' on a hole in a paper heart. R.I.P. Scott Weiland. i'm not ON drugs, i AM drugs...

* Einstein: it was a placebo, Mulder. it was niacin.
Mulder: that explains it, i'm allergic to niacin *flushes* i'm also allergic to country music.

* terrorist's mother: my son would never do such a thing. he's a good boy.
the waves on his life support machine start wavering.
Scully: look! he's coming to.
terrorist's mother: no, my son is squirming cos he thinks Scully is hot. a mother knows.

* Mulder: i was in an alternate plane.
Scully: were you seated next to William Shatner? did you see a monster on the wings?
Mulder: i'm on a boat. but with hooded figures. on the River Styx. and there was the terrorist's mother holding her son like Mary holding Jesus.
Scully: maybe that's what Heaven is, one big trip.

* Mulder: i heard what the terrorist said. but it was in Arabic so i couldn't understand it. too bad. if only he spoke alien.

* Einstein: what a day. after everything that happened to us, this proves we make a pretty good team.
Miller: so when do you want to go out?
Einstein: i have a boyfriend.
Miller: what, seriously?!

* Scully: why is there so much hate in the world?
Mulder: i blame 4chan.

* Mulder: did you hear that?
Scully: trumpets?
Mulder: no, that was me. i farted. sorry.