SNL Michael Keaton / Carly Rae Jepsen Episode Discussion

learned:

* let's discuss!

* cold open: Bobby should have been Coach K. Carly Rae Jepsen looks more like Coach K than Taran does.

* monologue song: if The Rock is franchise viagra, the original Batman is just viagra. with apologies to Adam West of course who's now, sadly, only known as an insane mayor, not a caped crusader. still want to see a live-action Kevin Conroy Batman movie.

* Smart Home: love you guys but this is just Adult Swim's "Smart Pipe". Adult Swim should have their own Saturday-night show to compete, their stuff is fresher. wait, what am i saying? okay, i got it, put the anime on at a reasonable hour weekday nights, like 8PM. see? win win.

* Scientology: okay, but if it meant a chance to be a better you, wouldn't you go missing?

* some very nice pointed i-got-your-back-Jesus moments: He Is Risen, and all the Jews and unleavened bread can do is look up at the scoreboard.

* Carly Rae Jepsen:

after the first song i say to Carly: i really really really really really really really really really really really really really like you.

after the second song i say to Carly: oh, so you're friendzoning me? okay, that's okay, i still like you.

* CNN graphics: i feel bad for Wolf Blitzer, i really do. he's everyone's favorite uncle just trying to give us the news without bias. cut him some slack but don't you ever shave that beard, Wolf, that would be weird.

* always call your grandparents whenever possible, they're the only ones who will tell you the truth, they're old enough that they don't give a fuck about cliques anymore. your friends won't tell you that the badboy you're dating is bad news, they are all Resident Young Persons who will say anything you want to hear to keep their place at your boyfriend's pot circle.

* Easter cocaine: remember, the most dangerous nut is the one who doesn't think he's a nut.