The Haunting Hour "Near Mint Condition" Episode Discussion

learned:

* friend: what's with your brother and the zombie stare?
younger brother: he's waiting for a toy.
friend: oh i see. kidult?
younger brother: yep, adult swim-watcher. promise me we won't end up like him?
friend: promise. now let's get back to these video games...

* geek: you said you'd be here on time!
mailman: traffic. i'm a mailman, not a fucking pizza boy. do you know how the world works, kid?
geek: don't call me kid, i have my learner's and then some, i'm a responsible adult, i used my car money to buy this.
mailman: well then, it must be important. let's open it up and see what's inside.
the geek opens the box. in the box is a pepperoni pizza.

* younger brother: wait, this is the first time in media history that a geek is getting respect and deference. it can't just be cos you're older, can it? take off your glasses.
the older brother geek takes off his glasses.
younger brother: now i see, you're handsome underneath.

* the geek throws bread at his younger brother.
younger brother: seriously? you're not the sharpest knife in the kitchen.
geek: that gives me an idea...

* woman: you hoarders make me sick. that's what killed him. yeah, the animal killed him, but his obsession with toys killed his soul. toys, toys, toys, what's up with grown men and toys? brony, right?
geek: i wouldn't know, i collect bears, not ponies.
woman: ...the type of losers who spend their Saturday afternoons watching kid shows and blogging about them afterwards...

* geek: bro, distract the killer bear while i slo-mo cut off his head with my Highlander sword.
the geek and the bear rage toward each other.
bear: *growl*
geek: *growl* THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and *slice*.
younger brother: gotta admit, that was pretty cool.
geek: the only perk of being a geek: knowledge when a bear comes to life and mangles the neighborhood. i am never going to have sex.
younger brother: i was so scared.
geek: you know what's even scarier? this episode has no ending...