The Haunting Hour "Spores" Episode Discussion

learned:

* family: get out of the car!
boy: no!
dad: we are going on this family camping outing if it kills us!
boy: it will. i have a better chance of surviving driving this car alone home even though i've never driven before than you guys have of getting out of this episode human.
brother: go on, it's just like those driving video games you love, you'll be fine.

* creepy guide: follow the rules, they're rules for a reason. lost a couple hikers round here awhile back, but i'm sure they'll turn up, hehehe.
boy: so he's not creepy to you?
sister: no, he's got that Matthew McConaughey thing goin' on, he's hot.
boy: winning that Oscar has really changed everything.

* twin sister: what am i thinking of now?
twin brother: ponies?
twin sister: yes!
twin brother: what am i thinking of now?
twin sister: basketball?
twin brother: no, ponies.
boy: ha! twin ESP my ass. i did the DNA, though, and unfortunately i am related to you two dweebs.
twin sister: now i don't want to be related to either of you.

* mom: this is your trip, our youngest doesn't want to be here, the least you could do is not be rude.
dad: we are going to be a family, a family of spore-spreading tree people if need be. i did the DNA, the youngest one isn't mine.
mom: i want a divorce.
dad: if it wasn't for me, everyone would be off doing their own thing. the youngest would be driving, the girl here would be on a pony, the boy would be ballin'...
brother: it's true, everypony would be doing something different.
mom: what is that i smell? did you fart?
dad: no i didn't fart, there wasn't time for me to eat, we're on a schedule, remember?

* sister: a walking tree? this isn't The Lord of the Rings.
boy: it's better, it's real life!!! this explains everything: why i'm so short, why i've always felt so apart from my family, i'm not human like you, i'm a hobbit.
brother: check your feet, are they hairy?
boy: yes they are!
sister: no they're not, they're just dirty, when was the last time you washed your feet?
boy: you two hog the bathroom all the time so i gave up washing. i was waiting to join a group of twelve men when i got older for that stuff...

* i liked the video game better.