Power Rangers Super Ninja Steel "Sheriff Skyfire"

notes:

* Ryan Guzman: so............i guess I'M the Gold Ranger........

* Sarah and Hayley: it is wild (force rangers) that BOTH of us are pregnant at the same time!
Monty: speaks to the general sluttiness of the set.
Sarah: want me to slam this hoverboard down your throat?
Monty: what? it's a porn set, what do we expect?

* Blammo: this is my..........DRAGONBALL!

* Sheriff Skyfire: hello, i am............
Cosmo jumps up and makes himself horizontal and takes out his gun.
Cosmo: KENNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

* Sheriff: was this asshole bothering you, ma'am?
Madame Odius: that's madame. oh, you are so handsome!
Badonna: i saw him first!
Sheriff: how can you tell? i'm wearing a mask.
Odius and Badonna: so are we.
Odius: those pesky Rangers stole my diamond ring! i'm getting married.
Sheriff: to me?
Odius: to Badonna.
Badonna faints.

* Clint: hey, no skateboarding in the halls!
Tony Hawk: but i'm Tiny Hawk from the Venture Bros. skate or die, mall cop!
Clint: hey watch yo mouth, punk! i WISH this dump of a school was a mall, at least there would be hot chicks.

* Victor Vincent: wait, so you mall cops just TAKE stuff without permission because of a rulebook?
Monty: you're like the Government.
Clint: i have now officially deputized you as student deputies.
Victor: aw, we're still students, that sucks.
Clint: you have to read and learn by heart this entire rulebook, everything by the book, throw the book at you.
Victor: i don't read nuthin'.

* Clint: i don't make the rules, i just enforce them.
Hayley: isn't that what the Nazis said at that trial? you do realize this is a wolf, not a dog.
Clint: wolves are just dogs who were never shown love. hey, RECYCLE, bitch, RECYCLE!!! this is for the environment so i can call you bitch!
Hayley: you realize my booty is bigger than your whole frame, right? want me to sock you into next Saturday?
Clint: will the episode be better then?

* in fairness, i learned a lot from this episode. i'm a stickler for that, too, i see a lot of trash that should be recycled. i recycle EVERYTHING. like dirty napkins, i figure napkins are paper so ALL NAPKINS should be recycled, not thrown away in the trash, that's a hotbutton-issue to this day, the existential question of our time, napkins: trash or recycle?
Clint: trash or treasure?
Chip Lynne: no one's talkin' to you.

* Monty: what are you waiting for, Victor? that girl is eating a banana!
Victor: just wait, Monty, wait and you'll see............wait and learn...

* man in Zealand accent: hey! that was my science experiment!
Victor: i didn't see any triptych cardboard! i'm eating these blueberries and i don't even like blueberries!

* Sheriff: do you like my sword?
Brody: yes yes, very much, it's so shiny and smooth, i like to rub the edge of it all the way down.
Sheriff: wanna switch swords?
Sarah: okay, cut! daytime, guys, it's daytime here remember?

* Sheriff: it seems i was tricked by a bitch in a mask.
Preston: she has that effect on all of us. she wears a mask so you can't tell what her facial expression is, if she's being sarcastic or not.
Sheriff: i'm for Rod, he enforces the law. yeah it's like an email, you can never tell the tone of it just with the type.

* Clint: i hate my job, i hate my life.
Mick Kanic: don't push it, buddy.
Clint: it's afterschool and i'm sorting out trash from recycleables instead of getting a sodapop at the centre. my parents wanted me to be a lawyer but i said i wanted to have Sideshow-Bob-hair and write essays about winners-take-all.
Clint: i wish you kids would have a little consideration. look i found a bomb. a bomb is METAL, people, not trash.
Hayley: yeah that's pretty hardcore *she gives the devil's fingers*
a group of real police officers arrest Clint on the spot for carrying a bomb and call him clit.

* Hayley: this isn't fair! why do i have to work!? i'm going to school! and i'm pregnant!
teacher: look at all these notes!
Hayley: these aren't my detentions! they're your jury-duty and appointments with the psychiatrist!

* Rangers: if you weren't so diligent at your job, we would have never found the bomb!
Clint: great. but can i get out of prison now? i'm too short to make it out alive.
Sarah: tell me about it, sista.
Calvin: you know i kinda like rooting through all the city trash like a raccoon. if this Ranger thing doesn't work out---which it won't cos being a Ranger isn't a real job---i want to be a trashman!
Hayley: that won't be enough to feed our growing family of six.
Calvin: you got pregnant again!? but we didn't do it this time!
Blammo: hey Sarah, they call me Blammo but i hear YOU went blammo.
Sarah: not cool, monster.

* Sheriff: great job, Rangers! well i'm off now. riding off into the sunset alone...
Brody: join us. you look exactly like me. you can replace me when i get tired of this gig.
Sheriff: not underneath this mask i don't...

* Hayley: look, Clint. i invented this machine which separates the trash and recycleables automatically.
Clint: oh, so you replaced me with a machine. thanks. rendered my job meaningless.
Hayley: here at Power Rangers we learn to respect cops and law enforcement. they're just doing their job, if you want the law changed, run for Congress. but that still doesn't excuse that time you pushed me to the ground and held a gun to my head.
Clint: yeah, white-man cop, black woman on the street, it's a volatile combination.
Calvin: sorry for ramrodding my truck into the school sprinklers and creating all the water in our oceans we must conserve now so we can surf on it.
Sarah: yeah, and sorry for getting pregnant on school grounds.

* students: hey Clint, can you help us with a problem?
Cint: anything. lead the way, children.
students: help us beat up our teacher.

* Monty: Victor, have you read Willy Wonka?
Victor: no, Monty, my mom wouldn't let me see that film because there was child-abuse in it.
Monty: Victor, is your favorite band Veruca Salt?
Victor: it is now. why is everyone humming the Oompa-Loompa theme to us behind our backs which are now so big we can't see them? Monty my worst fear has come true: i don't mind being blue cos that means i get to fuck Smurfette, but i'm fat!!!