The X-Files "My Struggle" Episode Discussion

learned:

* nothing to do with Hitler.

* this isn't really a community discussion, more a one-man review *X-Files theme plays*

* chills. goosebumps. thick pink nostalgic goggles. but you know, as always, it isn't just the show itself, it's the time i was alive when the show was in its heyday. i look back at how stressfree, how pre-internet, how blogless my life was back then, an innocent babe enjoying the Canadian wilderness of that first season. i want to live in the Canadian wilderness. with Wolverine.

* scientist: can i get off the bus, Gus? i don't feel safe without a seatbelt.

* Mulder: my name is Fox Mulder. i was huge in the '90s. we got canceled in the 2000s. little did anyone know back then that the 2000s would be so godawful. nothing has changed since, it's only gotten worse. this isn't '90s nostalgia, folks, it's a cry for quality writing on tv. the first conspiracy came when music fans the world over anticipated what would come after Nirvana and were shocked and dismayed to learn it was the Backstreet Boys.

* Mulder: Scully, Obama's making fun of me on Fallon. i voted for him. thanks.

* scientist: why did you shoot that alien in the butt?!!!

* conspirator on tv: 9/11 was false flag! we're already fighting World War III! somehow, mysteriously, McDonald's is a viable stock again!
Mulder: why do you have bulletproof glass on your limo?
conspirator: for bullets.
Mulder: won't protect against single bullets.

* Mulder: Sveta is the key to everything.
Sveta: they took my babies!
Mulder: i can help with that.......so, where can i meet you alone late at night? is your depression endogenous, too?
Sveta: reactive.
Mulder: damn. what's your favorite color? mine's black.
Sveta: i don't see color.
Mulder: that's an enlightened answer.

* conspirator: wanna go on a date?
Scully: you're not gonna end up being the son Mulder and i have together, right? cos that would be weird.

* Mulder: how is it that you look exactly the same 14 years later?
Skinner: see all those pencils stuck up there on the ceiling? great for pull-ups.

* Mulder: this alien ship runs on the energy of the universe? how?
secret scientist: New Age.
the ship disappears.
Mulder: how did this ship disappear into thin air?
secret scientist: Klingon technology.
government soldiers barge into the warehouse and explode the ship.
secret scientist: don't worry, we can get a new ship, there's an Illuminati store nearby. take a right at the McDonald's and you're there.

* Scully: they are doing God's work with those poor souls born with no ears. next patient!
Simon Cowell: what am i doing here?! my ears work fine...
Scully: Fox is bringing back all their hits.

* Mulder: Tuskegee, Henrietta Lacks, Blair Walsh missing that field goal.
conspirator: Russian invasion, consumerism, Gostkowski missing that extra point.
Scully: her tests came back negative, cold, altitude. anything else?
Mulder: why is your face all weird, Scully?
conspirator: yeah. botox?
Scully: i am a woman, the greatest mystery in the universe.

* scientist as an old man: i know everything. but i can't tell you anything. the world fits nicely into one venal conspiracy theory. i mean the universe couldn't possibly be a cold, godless random void, could it?
Mulder: when will i finally learn all the secrets?! i've been kinda spinning my wheels for 14 years.
scientist as an old man: only when you get as old as me.
Mulder: something tells me i'm not gonna make it to your age.

* Sveta's car gets exploded by the alien spacecraft just as her radio tunes to "I Want It That Way."

* Scully: i suppose we have no choice but to go after those SOBs.
Mulder: Super Omniscient Beings?

* the Cigarette-Smoking Man gets help from a hot nurse to smoke his cigarette through the hole in his neck.
Cigarette-Smoking Man: cigarettes couldn't kill me. what chance did missiles have?