Justice League Action "Under a Red Sun"

learned:

* Batman: why do they call you Big Barda?
Big Barda: cos i got a big ****
Superman: that hurt my virgin ears.

* parademons: we parademons aren't dumb, we just speak a different language. it comes out as gobbledygook to you.
Batman: poor dumb animals.
parademons: hey! oh yeah?! well, you're grown men and you use little yellow crying smiley faces when you're sad.

* Big Barda: so i guess i'm the Wonder Woman for this little adventure.

* Big Barda: i'm winning the count.
Batman: can i let you in on a little secret? i never learned to count. was too busy kicking ass.

* Steppenwolf: i'm back!
Superman: are you the band or the novel?
Steppenwolf: i'm the one who bought a sun.
Superman: how much was it?
Steppenwolf: free. energy is free.

* Steppenwolf: under this red sun you are powerless against me.
Superman: A-HA!!! that red is just a filter. the actual sun here is yellow like a yellow emoticon. now who's the baby manchild?!
the red sun of the planet is now a huge yellow smileyface.

* baron?: hello i am zis german or something baron generic villain who guards Apokolips for Darkseid. do you have any questions?
Batman: how long will that forcefield you got there hold up under sustained heavy pressure that's not punches or kicks?
the bubble cube bursts under the weight of the huge statue head.
baron: what zis happened?
Batman: Hitler was an painter, not a scientist.

* Steppenwolf: how does it feel to have a broken leg?
Superman: it hurts like fuck. how does it feel to have a broken heart?
Steppenwolf: what do you mean?
Superman: i'm doing your mom.
Steppenwolf begins to cry.
Superman: hey she called me about a cat in a tree...

* Big Barda: i win the count.
Superman: can i let you in on a little secret? i can't count.
Big Barda: you, too?
Batman: superheroing takes sacrifice.

* Big Barda: job well done, boys. wanna fuck?
Batman: i have a boyfriend.
Superman: me, too. hopefully he brings me some soup for my leg when we get home.
Batman: you like chicken noodle, right?