Justice League Action "Time Share"

learned:

* thank you for this, show. it's not a time machine but it's something.

* Chronos: this isn't just a thermos, it's a Rocky Mountain Tumbler!

* Batman: shit, those words will bite me in the ass later on this episode. this is why i don't talk.

* Blue Beetle: where do i begin and my Siri ends?
Siri: let's watch Her again after the takedown. i need a break from all this masculinity.

* Batman: y'know when i ascend the wall in a direct vertical line with the rope, i'm really doing it horizontally. it's all a camera trick.
Blue Beetle: i didn't know you were a lifecaster, Batman.

* Batman: the first time i posed the lightning struck me. i forgot all of the '90s.
Blue Beetle: that is a bigger tragedy than your parents.

* Blue Beetle: please tell me you got a shot of that.
Siri nods.
Batman: you could have just asked me for the DVD.
Blue Beetle: what's a DVD?

* Blue Beetle: if we're not careful you could be erased from the timeline.
Batman: at least do it before Batman & Robin comes out.

* Chronos: look at me! i'm doing parkour!
Batman: this is the '90s, that isn't cool yet, it's just trespassing now.

* Falcone: i'm Falcone, the greatest crime mind Gotham has ever known. you mean to tell me some freak in a bat costume will surpass me?
Batman: i'm afraid so. you are clearly smart but we went in another direction. we're tired of generic villains.
Falcone: o why did i have to be born into la famiglia?

* Superman: good job, kid. he never says someone did a good job. can i borrow your phone?
Blue Beetle: sure, Superman. what for?
Superman: Wonder Woman and i are gonna fuck and post our sex videos online. don't tell Batman.

* Blue Beetle: okay, Siri, i'm on the roof waiting for the lightning. ready to take the selfie?
Siri: is it a selfie if i take the picture of you? a selfie should be a picture of me.