Doctor Who "The Woman Who Lived" Episode Discussion

learned:

* Ashildr: i am robbing you!
the Doctor: of my hamburgers?

* Ashildr: i am Me.
the Doctor: B?
Ashildr: no, Me.
the Doctor: oh sorry, i'm remembering in the wrong direction, premonition of your character before your epiphany.

* the Doctor: i read your diary.
Ashildr: how dare you! did you find anything life-altering?
the Doctor: no, seeing as you're immortal. you lost your children, that's something a mother never forgets no matter how old.
Ashildr: damn you! why didn't you stop the Plague?!!
the Doctor: i was in a rock band then.
Ashildr: immortality is a curse.
the Doctor: it's cool for like the first thousand years. then your face starts to get all big.
Ashildr: why couldn't you make my memory immortal, too?
the Doctor: believe me, you do not want to remember your awkward teenage years.
Ashildr: take me with you, Doctor!
the Doctor: it wouldn't work out. God needed a break from Jesus living in His basement, He went out for a pack of censer smokes and never came back. it's in the Bible.

* the Doctor: if you kill this man's shortlife, you'll make an enemy out of me.
Ashildr: exactly.

* Leandro: this is where the wealthy and the powerful rule. it is her world...a world apart from mine. her name is...Me. from the moment i saw her she captured my heart with her beauty, her warmth, and her courage. i knew then as i know now that she would change my life...forever.
the Doctor: hey Vincent, meet me in the woods, i got some marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers that need toasting. campfires don't exist yet, right? wait, do marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers exist yet?

* Sam Swift: that kiss was hot.
Ashildr: do you know how old i am?
Sam Swift: i'm into gilfs.

* the Doctor: oh Clara, hi! you're here! i didn't miss you at all i mean how are you?
Clara: what have you been up to all episode? i've been doing some madcap school stuff myself.
the Doctor: oh just finding your replacement.
Clara: don't worry, Doctor, i'll never leave your side for a couple more episodes. and then i'll turn to dust.
the Doctor: i know i know, let's all be honest here, there will never be another Sarah Jane...