learned:
* Marshawn Lynch after Super Bowl XLIX: "aw man, i got all Skittled up to run all day and everything..."
* monologue: that thing where you want Fred Armisen to come back but only as the house-band drummer.
* Teacher Snow Day: many teachers found this offensive, but i submit to you that if my teachers all smoked weed, we would have related to each other better, been on the same spiritual wavelength, real learning isn't in a classroom, it's going outside and smoking weed.
* the Jay Z Story: proof that story matters more than characters.
* D'Angelo: proof that the message is the medium.
* Microsoft Assistant: think about how many massacres your precious but computer-illiterate grandfolks have inadvertently caused. for the sake of life everywhere, help that little old lady across the street and really teach her how to send that email to you the next time she wants to cross the street.
* Casablanca: mmmmmm, hill of baked beans *Homer Simpson gargle*
* Miss Trash: that wasn't Miss California, that was just Drew Barrymore.
* Career Day: here's how awesome Japan is, they had an anime out about Messy Boys the moment SNL ended, and it was already five years old.
* goodnights: it was so long i had time to think J.K. was wearing a San Francisco Giants cap cos of the colors but realize at the end it was a Detroit Tigers cap. i also ate my Sunday breakfast. the skit they skipped was so good it couldn't possibly be on the show, it screamed online-only.
NOTES FROM MY NETHER / only the finest programs of television / your host this evening is early and wears no robe, 83optics on youtube but you know him better as THE LATE PHOENIX / come and mull over the monastery mulled wine, see what's on / N O T E S
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