Doctor Who "Twice Upon a Time"

learned:

* Steven, i love you, but Twice Upon a Time is about the most hackneyed title of all time, times two. literally ANYTHING would have been better. my humble contribution:

Time is Now

* okay so first impressions, this fell flat. not like the Doctor falling. it was all bland. the big bad was a big good so what are you supposed to do with that. literally no stakes. while the Christmas Truce is always a tearjerker---"Silent Night" will never be the same---i think cos i knew about this history prior it didn't hit me as hard as it would have if this had been my first Christmas Truce. literally those spoilers River Song keeps warning us about. there really was no point in the First Doctor being there. it would have been cooler (sorry) if William Hartnell had shown up. now you know when the show wants you to cry, that was the final scenes with the companions. and Clara (sorry). just didn't land. i generally like that girl named Bill, and i grew to enjoy Nardole immensely, but i dunno. but it's the type of scene that gets more sentimental as it fades from your memory and you reflect on it more i suppose. to all the paid plaudits arguing how emotional the whole thing was, how much does tears in a bottle cost? online eyes require no prescription glasses. the Regeneration was lame in the sense that it wasn't grand enough for Capaldi's exit. though i did bawl like a baby when he says, "Doctor, I let you go." that one line from the new Doctor is a bit of a cockblock innit.

* all that being said, i was kind. i rewound.

* i am literally being transported back in time!..................oh

* i would like to watch the old B&W Doctor Whos but the '70s ones are too groovy.

* William Hartnell: Regeneration? poppycock. just admit i was a hellion on set and you refused to renew my contract.

* how does Mark Gatiss weasel his way into every one of these things?

* Doctor: you died a Cyberman.
Bill: if i have all of Bill's memories, i am essentially Bill.
Doctor: like i said, you're a computer.

* Doctor Who: who are you?
glass model: very funny.
Bill: Beyoncé? is that you?
glass model: yes but i don't want my fans knowing i'm fragile.

* Gatiss: if only i spoke German.............i would be ruling the world now...

* Gatiss: excuse me, did you say World War I, not the Great War?
Capaldi: yes. sorry. my wife keeps nagging me about this. i keep forgetting you haven't heard of World War 3 yet.

* First Doctor: okay, here comes the required scene where we compare TARDISes. i like my original version better cos it's white.
Capaldi: you really need to stop saying things like that.

* First Doctor: what happened to Polly?
Capaldi: the parrot?

* First Doctor: i thought I was the center of the universe.
Capaldi: same response.

* Capaldi: hi, Rusty.
Rusty: no i really am rusty. i haven't been oiled in centuries. you are the good Dalek.
Capaldi: not according to my kids. i missed a lot of time with them filming this bloody show.

* Rusty: oh shit i remember New Earth! with those freaky cat-nurses, fuck they gave me nightmares.

* Capaldi: is this your Testimony?
Moffat: yes. i admit i sent out that tweet. i just couldn't take it anymore.

* First Doctor: so there's no enemy to fight?
Capaldi: well there's always old age.

* Gatiss: look after my family for me. my name is...
Capaldi: don't tell me. it's too long. you have four names?

* the enemy soldiers start singing "Silent Night" in unison but screw up the lyrics when they get to the lesser-known second verse and that causes them to fire at each other again...

* Capaldi: Clara. i remember now. a raven ate you or something.
Clara: please stop smiling, you have weird teeth.

* Capaldi: what will you do now, Nardole?
Nardole: go back to my old job being a hardboiled egg.

* the music swells. this is the weepie part.

* Bill and Nardole: tell us about your life.
Capaldi: fuck you.
Bill and Nardole: that's the doctor we know and love.

* Capaldi: i promised myself i wouldn't cry. and i didn't.

* Capaldi: i want that electric guitar. that was Bono's until his strange decision to take up the megaphone.

* i thought she said, "blimey".

* Jodie: why'd you have the make the first woman the 13th?

* Jodie: i can't wear a ring. i'm divorced from Meghan Markle.

* alt-cave man: hahahaha. see? the TARDIS spit her out!
Chibnall: give me a break, this was the first scene i've ever written.

* will the facebook comments ever go back to talking about the actual episodes instead of the eternal shitposting of weird neanderthal fantasies, that is the real question.

* i am so pumped for Sarah Jane Adventures II!

* as much as i want to see hot lesbian sex, or a powerful woman having her way with a subservient male, or general alien porn throughout the galaxy, i have a feeling this show will get even more kid-friendly. as in the Companions will be like her kids.

Power Rangers Ninja Steel "Past, Presents, and Future"

learned:

* Chrysti Ane: so i'm basically the main character now. makes sense. i mean it just can't be Brody.

* i can't believe this, but i don't think i've ever seen past, presents, and future used as a Christmas title anywhere before. that is extraordinary if true. checking now...

* Sarah: what are you doing, Preston?
Preston: some reference to the Japanese show. weird fingergun salute dance. or i have a tic.

* Redbot: how did you know what i wanted for Christmas?
Sarah: i've been stalking your metal ass like a motherfucker.

* Chip Lynne: we really didn't get you anything, Chrysti Ane. you have to agree to the settlement first.

* Cleocatra: Cat O'Clock was my favorite cousin.
Hayley: be honest.
Cleocatra: okay we were lovers.
Hayley: thattagirl

* Cleocatra: let me remind you what you did to him...
Calvin: no, please don't. we don't want this being a clip show.

* Sarah: what are you doing here, Santa?
Santa: i'm not a dirty old man living in my car.

* Santa: Sarah, i am Santa Claus and i am ordering you to kill that monster.

* Sarah: i have to find moments where my friends were alone. that's the stalker way i mean that's the Ranger Way.

* Sarah: whoa. you really are me in the future. i really am as hot as people say. i do look like a porn star. hey, do you want to fuck? i've always wanted to try that.

* Sarah: Levi, it's hard to explain, but you're a Power Ranger.
Levi: my name is Aiden. wait why did i just tell you that?
manager: hey remember me? your manager in the black cowboy hat? why was i only on for a few episodes and dropped like hot garabage? is it cos i'm black?
Levi: no, it's just...you became a wholly irrelevant and useless character.
black manager: yeah but you could have written for me. the writers could have used me if they really wanted to.

* Preston: if you want to touch this tree you gotta put a ribbon on it.
lumberjack: or a ring.

* Chip: wait we had to rebuild that whole complicated ribbontree set just for a couple of seconds? that's coming out of your settlement, Sarah.

* Santa: um, Sarah, can i have a snack? i'm feeling peckish.
Sarah: this is no time to think about food, Santa! the fate of the universe is at stake.
Santa: okay then how about a little peck on the cheek? can i nibble your ear? one kiss.
Chip: i rewrote the script and added the above dialogue.
Santa: i said write a kiss for me or i'm not doing it. there are plenty other specials i'm in demand for this time of year.

* Sarah: i'm in the same boat as you.
Brody: when i act Chip tells me i'm on the Titanic.
Sarah: trust me. i'm not Madame Odius or anyone pretending to be Sarah. i didn't put a spell on myself to try and recapture my lost youth and beauty or anything...

* Gigantified Rangers, can't believe no one ever thought of that before

* Brody: what was that thing you did just then, Robo Red?
Robo Red: put my hand to the back of my head and leaned back. i get lonely sometimes when you don't call.

* merry Christmas, kitty litter! i'm gonna use that at my next office Christmas party.

* Brody: show's over, Ninjas win. even though the show and the ship exploded.

* Sarah: i can't believe you guys really didn't get me a gift.
Rangers and Chip: we just all figured your booty is our collective gift.
Sarah: it's a good thing there's a medieval stove and pot here in the garage. btw this will also serve as our Christmas dinner.
Preston: we don't remember you taking our Power Stars, wink wink.
Sarah: it's okay. the real reason for the season is my love for you guys. bring it in.
Preston: so you're in love with me? you just stated it, it's on the record.
Rangers: just kidding! of course we got you something, Sarah.
Sarah: *looks outside* oh...it's just the dirty old man who lives in his sled and likes to scan up and down my body with his eyes. i thought maybe my estranged father had come back to me.
Santa: hello, Sarah, i am your daddy.
Santa: ho ho ho
Sarah: why did you look at me when you said that?
Santa: i'm essentially kidnapping you you know this.
Sarah: the woman always holds the reigns...

Justice League Action "Party Animal"

learned:

* there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING, better than new Christmas cartoons!

* Lois Lane was on assignment at the Teen Titans' 200th

* reporter: you look Japanese.
Keely Miller: just goth. we're getting younger and younger.

* git along, little grundy

* Jim Carrey was originally slated for Plastic Man. the eyes were the best they could do.

* Plastic Man: shoot an arrow at my tongue! get it loose!

* a covered-up Commissioner Gordon enjoying the holiday ice rink with his male lover

* Green Arrow: come on, Plas, my Christmas party. remember?
Plastic Man: right. and that is..........?
Green Arrow: 7:30.
Plastic Man: no, where do you live? i'll put your address on my blog for quick access for the others.

* when did pizza become prison food?

* Plastic Man: think about it...............buying a bag of ice.............is a completely useless thing to do.

* Green Arrow: it's pronounced cro-KET-a.
Wonder Woman: what's inside me?
Green Arrow: what? oh uh, gumbo, yeah gumbo.
Flash: wait you're supposed to bake the biscuit dough in pigs in a blanket? i always ate it raw.

* Constantine: hey is that guy who's like a living snowman at this party? not sure if he's a hero or villain.

* Green Arrow: shooters...
Constantine shoots Green Arrow.

* Red Tornado: you're standing under the mistletoe, Green Arrow...i'm here...

* Zatanna: hey what's in these mugs?
Wonder Woman: you're right. attention ladies, don't drink the drinks here.

* Green Arrow: shoulda went with the bat-signal crudité.

* Zatanna: every year, Batman grinches it up in his cave.
Flash: cos he's an atheist?
Wonder Woman: worse. Batman thinks he is God.

* Batman: where'd you get that pretty pink bow? doing some last-minute gift wrapping.

* Superman: jelly beans. socks. put the jelly beans in the sock for a nice makeshift cudgel...

* Plastic Man: Grundy is hopped up on tranquilizers...
Wonder Woman: see?

* Raven: and why wasn't i invited?
Green Arrow: it's 'Twas the Night, not the Poe poem.

* Plastic Man: Zatanna's figgy pudding? had it last year. made me pregnant.
Zatanna: oh, now i see why i was sidelined all last year.

* Plastic Man: look on the tv, Grundy. what Cartoon Network used to be!

* Superman: what's with this tiny toy bear?
Stargirl: i finally fucked Firestorm.
Wonder Woman: watch. you'll see. it's the red herring which brings the story together.

* Grundy: Grundy not mindless animal. Grundy remembers. thus Grundy has a mind.

* Green Arrow: Holy Hannah........Barbera

* Green Arrow: damn. i wish Batman was riding me like that.

* Batman: are you insane?!
Green Arrow: you're the one who taught me i could be a superhero without powers, now that is insane.

* Grundy: Grundy sorry for scaring you.............Grundy have to be careful not to copy Apple Frankenstein commercial too much.

* Zatanna: i'm cold.
Plastic Man: i'd offer you my coat but i got no coat. look how i'm dressed. want me to coil myself around you like a snake? i mean like Christmas wrapping paper?

* Green Arrow: what's so special about the S.T.A.R. Labs Christmas party?
animators: didn't have to animate it.

Power Rangers Ninja Steel "Galvanax Rise"

learned:

* pretty good writing. everything that is presented upfront comes back later in the back. like a bad ice cream sandwich.

* okay, this is the last episode, you don't have to hit us over the head with it.
Cosmo: kids, do you know what a hiatus is? let's spell it out together...

* Galvanax: take these teenagers away!
Victor and Monty: we were teenagers. but we didn't have attitude.

* Brody: i should have destroyed the magnet gun first. but hey, hindsight is 100/100.

* Brody: what's with the sword?
Mick: this is my secret, never-before-seen cosplay blade!

* Mick: i always wanted to ride bitch...

* Cosmo: we can't show this on a kid's show.
Levi: trotting us all up here on stage half-naked bound and gagged like sex dolls?
Cosmo: no, when you said you wanted to kill me.

* Sarah: can i at least make one last phone call to my mom?
Cosmo: what is your mom's name?
Sarah: Jodie Rimmer.
Cosmo: remember, the porn stars come onto this stage after Nickelodeon leaves.
been saving that joke for two weeks

* Madame Odius: is the megamag done? i need a new vibrator.
Monty: yes, my queen fox thing from Starfox.
Odius: i'm not a fox! don't lump me in with your Earth conventions. i am an alien creature with a designation you could never understand. not some lurid sex plaything, you damn furry!
Monty: have i upset you, my liege? please feed me some more of that alien slop. i haven't farted in ages.

* Monty: y'know, i'm actually quite cute. but i'll never be appreciated cos i'm forever lumped in with you, Victor, whom everyone despises, even your own mother.

* Victor: what's the difference between BasherBots and Kudabots?
Odius: seven hours in the chair.

* Brody: we can't keep running away.
Mick: why?
Chip Lynne: the set's only yea long.

* Redbot: good news, bad news. the comet is coming. it will destroy Galvanax. it will also destroy the Earth.

* Galvanax: truth is, i'm a collector. a completionist at that.

* Brody: i'm gonna do something now that will be epic. i'm gonna repeat what my flashback father said many years ago.
Mick: say it.
Brody: i forgot my line.

* get the ninja power stars from that birdbath!

* Rangers: who is that?
Mick: it's me! Mick! in my cosplay suit!

* Galvanax: GIVE ME BACK MY BELT!!! i earned that fair and square in a WWF ring in the '80s.

* Rangers: who is that?
father: call me Father. my name doesn't matter. before i go all in on the exposition, is there a bathroom? i've been holding in decades of gallons.

* Galvanax: subtext: i never knew my father.

* Galvanax: you never thought i'd drink a protein shake, did you?
Sarah: i drink protein shakes all the time.

* Father: GIVE ME BACK MY SON!!!

* Cosmo: it's the moment we've been waiting for all season! GIGANTIFY GALVANAX! whoops, no power. we forgot to pay the electric bill. that's what happens when you wait till the end of the season.

* Chip Lynne: have you noticed that every season the Rangers end up in this same exact little cove with the mountain and the shore and the ocean and the horizon? just interesting that's all. i'm sure it's some location in New Zealand.

* Victor: Kudabots don't go to the bathroom, Monty.
Monty: you mean...
Victor: yes.

* Cosmo: wait! Kudabots don't talk!
Monty: we do! you just never wanted to listen to our problems.

* Monty: i didn't want to do the fart scene. but it's Nickelodeon. their brand is farts and slime.

* Galvanax: curse you, Odius! is this because of prom?

* Sarah: it's an asteroid. or asspull-teroid.

* Hayley: are you seeing that thing spinning in front of us?
Calvin: no. remember? we're all on drugs.
Preston: i do two shows of this stuff.

* Galvanax: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
next-door neighbors: will you kids keep it down over there? we're trying to watch the Japanese version. so far all our old set gets is Archie Bunker.

* Rangers: *crying* our power stars! they're gone! they turned to dust!
Mick: you know we're all gonna die. we all turn to dust someday.

* Sarah: so we're done here?
Mick: one more season to go.
Sarah: what? rip up my contract, i want to do movies while the iron's hot. what's Zalman King's phone number? i want to do glossy softcore.

* reporter: so a scent that repels monsters? what's it called?
Monty: Monty. For Men. see? i'm cute.

* Mick: so i'm done here. you won't have my levels-way-above-your-acting with the ticks and broad line-delivery to your benefit anymore. the space taxi coming is taking me to the Ly Galaxy. that's a lie. i'm going back to Neighbours. there are only two words which would ever make me come back: Tenaya 7. if you count a number as a word.

* Mick: eat your grits.
Hayley: why did you look at me when you said that?

* Madame Odius: surprise! Christmas special spoilers! the new Doctor is a woman!

Justice League Action "Race Against Crime"

learned:

* LOIS LANE! voiced by Gilbert Gottfried

* i remember a comic-story story very similar...

* Lex Luthor: i hate to let go of this milky silky leg, Diana, but there'll be other gal gams.

* Cyborg: there's nothing special about me! i'm just a citizen who cares! a senior citizen...

* Luthor: i had a Mount Rushmore joke but they wouldn't let me use it. i mean a joke from the film Rushmore and they wouldn't let me use it...

* ballsy to fit in a "one hour earlier" into 11 minutes

* FINALLY we get the episode where that promo is from! i always thought i missed something.

* the people of Metropolis act as if they've never seen Bruce Wayne out in the open...

* Lois: are you really the fastest man alive?
the Flash: i don't like to say that around the ladies. babe, you're hot but that's too much purple. it's clashing and my eyes are covered in white cloth.

* Lois: my man is faster than a speeding bullet.
the Flash: "bullet"? what do you mean? like bullet train? we got rid of guns years ago and the people are safe. sure, superheroes and everything but that's what really did it.

* Superman: Lois! did you do something with your hair? you were bald last time i saw you.
Lois: that was Lex.

* Lois: all this and a sense of humor, too.
Superman: i fucked Wonder Woman to prepare for the race. that's what they say, right? enervate yourself of all your energy and power fluids so you're on the starting line with an empty tank.

* Green Lantern: i only condone starting guns, kids.

* Flash: you like my butt?

* Superman: we just caused a massive global tsunami.
Flash: the surfers don't seem to mind. they're giving us the shaka. i think.

* Lois: we've attached GPS devices to our heroes so they'll never leave our sight. the government says this is easier than drones.

* Luthor: you like the place? i got it cheap after Gargamel died in a vat of magic Smurf acid.

* Chronos: why the hell do i sound like i have a hangover? what's my backstory? is there drinking in the family?

* Luthor: you're so exacting, Chronos. did you enjoy algebra as a kid?
Chronos: i was never a kid. is algebra a spelling word?

* Chronos: i made this suit from all the purple Lois Lane has lying around her apartment.

* Chronos: time, speed, it's all crack cocaine in the end.

* Luthor: well of course there's that whiny voice of yours.
Chronos: James Woods, buddy, just a heads up. want to get in on this preemptively? we all know the rumors that have swirled around you for decades.

* Luthor: PURPLE POWER RANGER!!! no aromatherapy this week. that's the only therapy i do.

* Chronos: you idiot! that was an endangered bird! what's next, elephants?

* Chronos: thank you, sonny. the young people today are too into their phones to help an elderly man climb under a bus. what's your name again?
Luthor: we'll talk later, pops. i am your son.

* Lois: they've just crossed the Rockies you know what that means...............marijuana...

* sideliner: damn you, Samsung! the only time i'm ever gonna capture Lex Luthor photobombing something i take and the damn picture turns out blurry!!!

* Superman: i just noticed. what's up wih your voice, Flash? is it just the speed? where's the other guy?

* Luthor: what happens when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force?
Flash: the Big Bang.

* Luthor: *singing and putting on a curly black wig and revealing see-through BDSM suit* if i could turn back time...

* Flash: why does all the action in all of these cartoons always end up at Star Labs? just what the fuck experimenting is going on at Star Labs?

* Flash: it's not a rock, it's a force.
Batman: Dwayne Johnson is both.

* the writers just got around this week to seeing Commando.

* Flash: you got a vibrator?
Superman: ask Lois.
Flash: friction's too much.
Superman: ask Diana.

* Batman: what i hold in my hand is an HP desktop. warning: the updates are KILLER long.

* Chronos. voiced by Gilbert Gottfried

* Flash: i just barely avoided Disney copyright there with that remark.

* Flash: booga-booga is racist.
Luthor: then why did you repeat it?

* Chronos: i feel so much better. all the anger has been drained from me.
Batman: wait till they set your bail.
Superman: way to go, Batman! he was reformed till you butted in!

* great episode. from start to finish. this show is back on top!

* *checks wikipedia* OH NO! IS THIS THE SERIES FINALE!!? i am sad. very sad.

Justice League Action "System Error"

learned:

* Booster Gold: you look terrible, Bats.
Batman: i was drinking. my parents were murdered in cold blood you know.

* Superman: you didn't hear? Harley and Zod are dating.
Batman: what is this, high school?

* Wonder Woman: the villains keep appearing in weird combinations.
Batman: that's called the writers are bored and have run out of ideas.

* Batman: can you time-jump us out of here?
Booster: no can do. these HP updates take FOREVER to load.

* Booster: so i'm guessing you're just gonna leave me hanging?
Batman: Batman hangs with nooooooooooooo-body.

* Booster: Cyborg's out cold! what's his blood type?
Batman: HP updates.

* Batman: this is not good. Cyborg is fully human...

* Batman: hit me!
Wonder Woman wallops him.
Wonder Woman: that's for Catwoman!
Batman: ow, that hurt! that wasn't just for Catwoman.
Wonder Woman: you're right, that was for Batgirl!

* Batman: i'm a robot. everyone remove your faces and calmly admit that everything you thought about yourself up till now is a lie. without crisis. do it in my steady, unfazed voice.

* Superman: why are we here? who made us?
Batman: that is the burning existential question of our time, my friend. do you believe in God?
Superman: yes i believe in Zod. we kneel before Him everyday.

* Booster: they can be robots and still kill us with their lasers...

* Booster: performance issues?
Cyborg: i fucked a bitch last night.
Booster: hey man, respec womans.
Cyborg: the bitch in this case was you.

* Booster: where are we going?
Batman: you guys are nailing it today with the existential questions.

* Booster: whoa, the screen is all red plaid.
Wonder Woman: like Christmas ribbon.
Booster: i was thinking more like a grunge woolen shirt. *devil-horns hand gesture* rock on! Nirvana forever!

* Darkseid: WHOA! Parademon! i never knew you could talk! i thought you just grunted. i've been so busy i've never sat down and actually heard your voice before.

* Superman: is it just me or is that Big Belly Burger mascot familiar?
Booster: maybe. but it was phased out after the '90s. everything good was phased out after the '90s.
Cyborg: that Big Belly Burger sure looks good. i missed breakfast.
Booster: you eat?

* Lab Rats. miss that show. i could have done episode reviews here of that show...

* Booster: time-out...
Batman: what is that hand gesture? i don't do sports.
Booster: we have a steady gig here. of meaningless robot lives.

* Wonder Woman: are you serious, Booster?!! why am i attracted to you all of a sudden?
Booster: is it really up to us?
Batman: what is deep down in your soul, Booster?
Booster: porn. but in my defense, i am a computer.

* Batman: don't worry, they're just robots, they can't harm you.

* Superman: *blows wind* sorry. i tried to slow them down, but i killed them accidentally.

* Booster: forgot Parademons can fly

* Darkseid: you like my butt?

* Darkseid: don't you just love glitches in video games?

* Cyborg: cheaters never prosper.
Darkseid: then why is Lex Luthor President?

* Booster: so we're gonna die. and there's nothing we can do about it.
Batman high-fives Booster.
Batman: existential as fuck. btw, i've never high-fived anyone before.

* Kevin Conroy: it's Batman!
Cyborg: that sounds so weird coming out of your mouth.
Kevin Conroy: i just said that previous line in Cyborg's voice...

* Wonder Woman to Robo-Wonder Woman: i'm prettier than you.

* Booster: i do not sound like that!
Kevin Conroy: you're right. I sound like that.

Power Rangers Ninja Steel "Helping Hand"

learned:

* no mention of Sarah's mom in the description? for shame.

* i told you! this is the episode! (okay, so no Victor on the hoverboard)

* Preston: i call bike bitch!

* lawnmower man: your ass is grass...

* Sarah's mom: i made this machine that eats jellied toast and drinks for you. i am so lonely.

* Chip Lynne: Sarah's cheek messy with jelly and Sarah getting sprayed on? the night porn seems to have filtered into the day show.

* Force Fear: hello. i'm this week's villain. i'm a giant cute head.

* Force Fear: call me Pink Floyd. I have the Wall.

* Cosmo: do you know how much it costs to dry-clean this suit? the total combined salaries of at least three BasherBots!

* Transformers: Robots in Disguise 2015 junkyard in real life. i'm gonna miss that show...

* Mick: how do you two numbskulls know the location of the Rangers hideout?
Victor and Monty: Rangers?

* Monty: drat. the one time we actually put our two brains together and make something substantial for science, and it's gonna be mishandled by evil.
Victor: atom bomb, Monty, atom bomb.

* Sarah: not a gratuitous ass shot. Nickelodeon handles these things well.

* Sarah: mom, you're embarrassing me!
Sarah's mom: sorry, my accent is bleeding through. it's hard to stay American throughout.
Sarah: mom, you and i are gonna have a good relationship. cos i'm prettier than you.

* Sarah's mom: I know this is hard to believe, but i'm Tony Hawk's mom in real life.

* Calvin: you were a little hard on her out there weren't you?
Sarah: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTT

* Pink Floyd: there's only one way to defeat my Wall. shitloads and shitloads of psychotropic mushrooms.

* Madame Odius: sorry i've been away recently. i recently took up knitting. you like this shawl delicately draped across my shoulder?

* Mick: bad news: we're out of Ninja Steel.
Levi: what's that purple block in your hand? grape gum?
Mick: my dentures.

* Mick: we're gonna have to remelt these old stars to make the new ones.
Hayley: why?
Chip Lynne: budget.

* Mick: haven't found a new source yet. but it's a big universe.
Carl Sagan: billions. a billion alternate dimensions...
Mick: Carl Sagan was the first Ranger...

* Redbot: fuck you, Sarah!
Sarah: i'm sorry.
Redbot: i was practicing for Hayley on you.

* Chip Lynne: wait, so are you saying Sarah's mom is to blame for the whole Super fiasco?
Sarah's mom: hey don't blame me. second seasons are often good, it's just the name that sucks. you should name every second season Power Rangers Sarah's Mom.

* Sarah: give me a high-five.
Mick: i never played sports. ever.

* skating on a roll of toilet paper. cool.

* Hayley: i have a child out of wedlock.
Calvin: you whore!
Brody: i'm just gonna take this star.
Redbot: that's the old star, you moron.

* Mick: ..................*hammer-throw*.....................

* Rangers: what's with the bigger bot enclosing our Zords giant robo?
Chip Lynne: *Johnny Manziel rubbing sign* toys, baby, toy sales. Christmas is a'comin'. i want to make my 100-dollar bills snow in the club.

* lawnmower man: i traded in my mower for these two vicious dogs. they help calm me down. they have bigger teeth than my lawnmower. i can't take leisurely sidewalk strolls down the neighborhood with my lawnmower.

* Sarah: a dead clock's right twice.
Sarah's mom: but i'm dead inside.

* Sarah: i'm sorry, mom.
Sarah's mom: i'm sorry, honey.
Sarah: i love you, mom.
Sarah's mom: i love you, Sarah.
Sarah: *baby talk* mom.............................who is my father?

* Mick: good news, bad news. good news, we found a meteor rich in Ninja Steel. bad news, it was just a macro shot of the buzzcam's booger.

* Victor: come to papa.
Madame Odius: don't mind if i do. these two idots will be my newest cabana boys.
Victor: NOOOOO!
Madame Odius: quit squirming.
Monty: my only dream has come true. i'm the sex slave to an alien cat!

* Chip Lynne: bad news: this is the last episode ever. we're ending the franchise on a cliffhanger.