Power Rangers Ninja Steel "Past, Presents, and Future"

learned:

* Chrysti Ane: so i'm basically the main character now. makes sense. i mean it just can't be Brody.

* i can't believe this, but i don't think i've ever seen past, presents, and future used as a Christmas title anywhere before. that is extraordinary if true. checking now...

* Sarah: what are you doing, Preston?
Preston: some reference to the Japanese show. weird fingergun salute dance. or i have a tic.

* Redbot: how did you know what i wanted for Christmas?
Sarah: i've been stalking your metal ass like a motherfucker.

* Chip Lynne: we really didn't get you anything, Chrysti Ane. you have to agree to the settlement first.

* Cleocatra: Cat O'Clock was my favorite cousin.
Hayley: be honest.
Cleocatra: okay we were lovers.
Hayley: thattagirl

* Cleocatra: let me remind you what you did to him...
Calvin: no, please don't. we don't want this being a clip show.

* Sarah: what are you doing here, Santa?
Santa: i'm not a dirty old man living in my car.

* Santa: Sarah, i am Santa Claus and i am ordering you to kill that monster.

* Sarah: i have to find moments where my friends were alone. that's the stalker way i mean that's the Ranger Way.

* Sarah: whoa. you really are me in the future. i really am as hot as people say. i do look like a porn star. hey, do you want to fuck? i've always wanted to try that.

* Sarah: Levi, it's hard to explain, but you're a Power Ranger.
Levi: my name is Aiden. wait why did i just tell you that?
manager: hey remember me? your manager in the black cowboy hat? why was i only on for a few episodes and dropped like hot garabage? is it cos i'm black?
Levi: no, it's just...you became a wholly irrelevant and useless character.
black manager: yeah but you could have written for me. the writers could have used me if they really wanted to.

* Preston: if you want to touch this tree you gotta put a ribbon on it.
lumberjack: or a ring.

* Chip: wait we had to rebuild that whole complicated ribbontree set just for a couple of seconds? that's coming out of your settlement, Sarah.

* Santa: um, Sarah, can i have a snack? i'm feeling peckish.
Sarah: this is no time to think about food, Santa! the fate of the universe is at stake.
Santa: okay then how about a little peck on the cheek? can i nibble your ear? one kiss.
Chip: i rewrote the script and added the above dialogue.
Santa: i said write a kiss for me or i'm not doing it. there are plenty other specials i'm in demand for this time of year.

* Sarah: i'm in the same boat as you.
Brody: when i act Chip tells me i'm on the Titanic.
Sarah: trust me. i'm not Madame Odius or anyone pretending to be Sarah. i didn't put a spell on myself to try and recapture my lost youth and beauty or anything...

* Gigantified Rangers, can't believe no one ever thought of that before

* Brody: what was that thing you did just then, Robo Red?
Robo Red: put my hand to the back of my head and leaned back. i get lonely sometimes when you don't call.

* merry Christmas, kitty litter! i'm gonna use that at my next office Christmas party.

* Brody: show's over, Ninjas win. even though the show and the ship exploded.

* Sarah: i can't believe you guys really didn't get me a gift.
Rangers and Chip: we just all figured your booty is our collective gift.
Sarah: it's a good thing there's a medieval stove and pot here in the garage. btw this will also serve as our Christmas dinner.
Preston: we don't remember you taking our Power Stars, wink wink.
Sarah: it's okay. the real reason for the season is my love for you guys. bring it in.
Preston: so you're in love with me? you just stated it, it's on the record.
Rangers: just kidding! of course we got you something, Sarah.
Sarah: *looks outside* oh...it's just the dirty old man who lives in his sled and likes to scan up and down my body with his eyes. i thought maybe my estranged father had come back to me.
Santa: hello, Sarah, i am your daddy.
Santa: ho ho ho
Sarah: why did you look at me when you said that?
Santa: i'm essentially kidnapping you you know this.
Sarah: the woman always holds the reigns...