The X-Files "The Lost Art of Forehead Sweat"

learned:

* this better become my favorite episode.

* this episode wins the Emmy for best title.

* interestingly, Darin has stood out more in this new era where the episodes are seen as weak. before he was a talented writer in a crop of 13 or so talented writers in the '90s so he kinda got lost in the mix. or am i misremembering that, was he always a star? i mean do you honestly remember any of the other episodes?

* okay now i don't feel so bad. i was beginning to think before i knew what this episode was about that i was not a true Twilight Zone fan.

* as a result of that episode, all waiters are required never to wear hats. their hairnets show and it's most unattractive.

* Fox, the reason people watched House was for Hugh Laurie, not the medical drama. Hugh Laurie coulda done a Western.

* squatchin': how men go to the bathroom.

* not a mold of Bigfoot's foot, a mold of Mulder's.........well he has big feet.

* i only know Brian Huskey from Childrens Hospital. that show should have been on Fox.

* Rod Serling was such a kind man he would resurrect himself from the dead solely to star in this episode, that's something he would do.

* Berenstain Effect would have been funnier.

* Mulder: admit it.
Scully: okay i'm a closet Outer Limits fan.
Mulder: this is why i'm asexual.

* Kid Mulder: Darin takes his first drug of the evening.

* yeah as a kid jello was just never my thing. big bowls of jiggly gelatin didn't do it for me. i dunno. more of an ice boy.

* it was Scully's desk all along, she just never used it. allergic to all the dust down there.

* Scully: well this is romantic.
Mulder: you fucking Skinner?

* a mother is always involved.

* They Can't Lick our Dick. i've never been a natural political animal, but that would have gotten even me to canvass.

* parallel universes. they exist but everyone's in this universe.

* lawn darts: the Tide pods of yesteryear

* i had a similar They character. named They anyway. oh well i guess it doesn't matter now.

* that wasn't political commentary, that was a commentary on King Kong. hopefully in the future there will be a better way to communicate with each other than comment sections.

* why did we invade Grenada? for the granola.

* i mean i guess he must have felt special-effects makeup couldn't have been that great back then.

* To Serve Man is a cookbook but it's vegan.

* sugartits, strangely, is what men say to each other.

* they should just replace the I WANT TO BELIEVE with the Nixon poster.

* i told you she was hot. i told you a mother is always involved.

* insertion can be painful.

* Scully: where's Einstein?
Agent: dead.

* Mulder: straight cash homey

* Cruz: this is my favorite show.

* the most unsettling part of those statues are the pants.

* Abe Vigoda was goth before it was cool.

* Murgatroid, i was gonna use that, too, damn you Darin you magnificent bastard.

* but it was devilfood wedding cake.

* just another Water Bucket Challenge.

* Reggie: what happened to the good ol' days? Ghostbusters and forever-home mental-institutions and catching crazies with a dogcatcher's net?

* do you know how much that record would catch at a vinyl shop?

* Alien: cut this last scene. put it on the DVD extras. my stairmaster broke.

* Alien: the universe will build its own Wall. and we will all pay for it. it's called the Second Big Bang.

* Mulder: men pee standing up? no it can't be!!!

* Mulder: i forgive you, Scully.
Scully: for what?
Mulder: let's make love. i love your body leprechaun taint and all.

* it did.