Doctor Who "The Return of Doctor Mysterio"

learned:

* do i have to?

* *dusts off blog*

* *can't dust off blog, rusted shut*

* i enjoyed the break, thank you. i really enjoyed the break.

* Mysterio? come on, Moffat.

* when 90 minutes feels like 60 minutes...

* this takes me back to the golden years. the '80s, my introduction to Superman, my introduction to film in general, movie popcorn when the butter was still real, pre-instagram, glorious pre-instagram.

* i never got into comic books tho. found that whole scene creepy.

* back when superheroes realized how corny they were. see everyone was Deadpool back then.

* boy: mom there's a strange man dangling from our roof.
mom: stuff his pie hole full of cookies.
the Doctor: is your mom hot? i mean ho ho ho.
mom: how dare you!
the Doctor: no i was adding the flimsy Christmas theme to this.
mom: forget the cookies, Peter, you need carrots. you're looking a little gaunt.

* Peter: whatever you do, kid, don't swallow this gem which will grant you the power to fly.
the kid swallows the gem.
the kid: i'm a kid.

* Peter: puberty hit yet?
young man: yep. it's embarrassing. i don't want to look at my crush naked.
Peter: so? what you reckon?
young man: you need to work out.

* Grant: i'm a male nanny. got a problem with that?
Peter: no only the part when you slip into that male-escort costume.
Grant: gotta make a buck. superheroing doesn't pay the bills. hey can you lend me some money?
Peter: no i'm getting sick of these bad scripts, i think i'm done after this series.

* Grant, get it?

* Lucy Fletcher. the most British name ever.

* Big Bad: the non-romantic plotline here which no one cares about is that there are brains or something, alien brains with eyes, that i can see out of, and misdirection, false flag, nativism, and i'm gonna take over the world.
Peter: why does everyone want to take over the world? what's the point? haven't you seen Before the Flood?

* Lucy: i'm not a bad mother i just really need a date night.
Grant: have you tried Care.com?
Lucy: so you're seeing someone? i'm jealous, but i don't know why.
Grant: it's the same reason Chi-Chi is attracted to Goku...

* Peter: please, no guns. no guns in Doctor Who. we're like Batman.

* Nardole: hi. i'm Nardole. i look weird. i have a weird face. and a weird bald head. here for comic relief. and wisdom.

* Nardole: you're lonely.
Peter: no i'm not! i follow Maisie on instagram!

* Lucy: i'm intrepid. i know when you're lying, Peter. squeeze.....................no, not there! the squeaky chew toy thingy!

* at their rooftop dinner date:
Lucy: why are you called The Ghost?
Grant: cos my hard-earned cash keeps disappearing...
Lucy: what's your favorite pizza topping?
Grant: super. does that red dress mean you want to have sex?
Lucy: no it's to show that pepperoni is my favorite. Goku was a bad father.
Grant: look i tried my best acting that thing, okay?!

* Peter: so basically if Grant doesn't get a boner before the bomb explodes, he saves the day. but he's with his childhood crush.
Big Bad: ingenious, no?
Peter: hold on i'm getting a tweet from realdonaldtrump saying he thinks this plot is a disaster.

* Peter: i'm over my girlfriend okay. i don't think about River Song anymore. endings are both sad and beautiful.
Grant: cookies?
Peter: i can't eat sweeties anymore.