Archer 1999 "Space Pirates"

notes:

* two more left. Adam Reed is giving us August so we can have that last gasp of summer at camp before fucking school starts.

* i know this cos they're reviving Bug Juice on Disney Channel...but now it's just a bunch of babies, none of that tween assault and battery and breaking and entering and illegal entry we had in Season 3...

* the D'in: the alien race should have been called the Suppressing Fire

* btw, have you noticed all alien races on space shows on tv all have that apostrophe in their name?

* Malory: the last time i drank beer, Picard ate pizza...

* Archer: after space travel and exploration, you want to go back to your 9-to-5s?
Lana: yeah, they raised the minimum wage to 15.
Krieger: i almost stopped Apollo 11...

* Archer: everyone on 3, SPACE PIRATES!!!
Pam: what do you think this is, space camp?

* Pam: btw, my tits are retractable.
Lana: i wish i had used that excuse when i was a tween.

* Archer: this group of aliens, are they important?
Cyril: for continuity, no, for the country, apparently not. you see all of this is your dream. you are one HEAVY sleeper.
Adam Reed: why did we even bother to name them?
Archer: so we dress up as them and speak their language. remember, NO ENGLISH.
Cyril: imagine the country as a utopia.

* Lana: please, show, don't turn me into a woman whose only purpose in life is to have babies. i'll even go back to angry black woman if i have to...

* this episode brought to you by Glade

* Cyril: hey, no gender-roles-switching on my watch!
Cheryl: Cheryl and Cyril, why didn't they think of this sooner? why don't you want me sexually-harassing you? look at me, i'm hot. is it cos it's the workplace?
Cyril: no, i'm saving myself for Lana. this show hasn't been a workplace since we had an office. remember when we were a spy show?

* Archer: it's okay, Lana, you can take off your shirt, we'll rub them out in editing.

* okay RAY! RAY FINALLY gets his moment to shine!

* Archer: ugh Ray! that's disgusting! you need to get off Instagram!
Ray: what? that's the first black hole ever photographed in the entire universe. i'm serious!

* Malory: you're breaking up...krrghghhghkekrkkr…

* Cyril: i mean, all they had to do was plug the hole in the Death Star, i could have done it myself.
Cheryl: with your junk? you'd at least need the double-dick of that white alien guy from before July 4th.

* Archer: lowercase a. a person who wields arrows…

* Lana: if a wild animal bites your finger, that means it likes you. no i'm serious, it wants to latch onto you...

* Archer: oh great here we go! the waning years of any sitcom, first you add the cousin from out-of-town, then you add the mascot…
Tom: hey, Toonami was saved by my slug mascot!

* Archer: look, i know this a bad situation, we're in the garbage. but these are French aliens, this is actually a giant bidet, how cool is that?
Cyril: THAT's what they're speaking?
Pam: i speak French, everytime i fuck.

* Archer: oh shit, my pet space ocelot brought backup. never has The Circle of Life been so scary.
Lana: i am NOT gonna sing the Lion King chant.

* writers room: um, how are we gonna maintain continuity with this one? one ocelot fine, but...
Adam Reed: i'm thinking hard reset for Season 11...

* we all know Pam's ex is Robert De Niro...