The X-Files "Familiar"

learned:

* 2 more episodes for all of this to wrap up neatly

* i couldn't hear a thing. it was hushed voices and subtitles throughout like a foreign film. which i much prefer over cranking the thing to 35 and everyone shouting.

* Scully: so we're back in the borial forest again?
Mulder: taiga? you mean last episode wasn't finally my proof of alternate realities?

* i'm not sure about this but i think Mr. Chuckleteeth may be racist

* or maybe it's just Chuckleteeth wants kids to avoid gingivitis

* Happy Women's Day Shannon Hamblin and Kristen Cloke, great script last week.

* had no idea on the name until the subtitles, didn't want to know actually

* Diane: i'm not a bad mother, i'm a good milf.

* crushing speed > cruising speed

* of course the kid's father is a cop

* Scully: coywolf?
Mulder: yeah he tells you he had a great time but never calls you again.

* Scully: scapegoat?
Mulder: goat sacrifice.

* black cop: i'm the black cop just in case you were wondering about this town.

* Mulder: OMG, THIS IS SALT!!!
Scully: how can you tell?
Mulder: cos i can't taste salt. that side of my tongue got bitten off by a witch.

* cops: you're messing up the crime scene. the set designer won't like that. people get off on this?
Mulder: oh yeah, after Satanism changed its name to Wicca it's become mainstream.

* i know this is gravely serious, but that blow-up photo of the kid, his expression is hilarious.

* Eggers: you can tell me, i'm a good egg.
black cop: i can't break the law in a church.

*Eggers: so do these computers have Windows 95?

* Strong: put the gun, down, Eggers. i'm here to hand you your parking ticket for that stunt you pulled out there.

* Anna: *stroking her hair* do you work, Mr. Mulder? are you into witches? what does your son do?
Mulder: he's like a player or something.

* Mulder: creepy Teletubbies. but the Teletubbies were already by nature creepy. nice collection of grimoires.
Anna: husband's a history nut.
Mulder: so the chief of police knows not to cause a mob riot cos of the bogus witch trials and scarlet letters and all that jazz, right? that won't happen here.

* Scully: you saw a hellhound? what'd it look like?
Mulder: imagine Ozzy Osbourne's dog.
Scully: Minnie?
Mulder: isn't that their granddaughter?

* Mr. Chuckleteeth looks like that guy, that monster from that other franchise, white-faced jack-in-the-box puppet with the spring and top hat? red coils for face paint? yeah i dunno, i hate horror movies.

* Anna: bibbletiggle. cos the Bible.

* what is with this episode and uncomfortably-funny photos?

* Melvin Peter: i swear i'm not a pedo. i just really like clowns. non-sexual. i always wanted to be a birthday-party clown growing up.

* monkey in a cage: i'm the monkey from the Nine Inch Nails "Closer" video!!!
Mulder: how's Jack?

* Mulder: what happened to this American experiment of ours?
Scully: as a scientist i can say we forgot the hypothesis.

* Eggers: nothing to see here, folks, just pouring carrot juice on his head. no mob mentality, hot day.

* Eggers: i'll forgive your cheating if you put down the booze. that's my booze. all those booze chalices are mine.

* Mulder: this all could have been avoided if you turned off the tv.

* Strong: i cursed the town cos i couldn't keep it in my pants.
Mulder: next time get bigger pants.

* Anna: SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN NO ONE IN THIS TOWN LETS ME BORROW A CUP OF SUGAR?!!!!!!

* Mulder: Anna, put down the book.
Anna: but reading is FUNdamental.
Mulder: you're playing with forces you have no control over.
Anna: dammit i forgot to say the spell backwards!!!!!!!!!...........

* Scully: somehow this wolf book didn't burn.
cop: Fire and Fury? don't worry, ma'am, we'll take care of it at our next book-burning.

* this episode mocks small-town America. the Olympics are officially over.

* maybe if i had been reared on British children's television as a kid i would love horror movies now