Degrassi "Black or White" Episode Discussion

learned:

* Gray, life is gray.

* Becky has a nice ass...that's what Show is showing me right now...

* y'know, there isn't just one correct interpretation of The Bard. for instance, Romeo and Juliet was meant to be played as a comedy. if you really think about it, it makes sense, that ending is hilarious.

* wait, but Eli had an out, Clare thought he was talking about the cigarettes, not the cheating sex. props for going the honesty-is-the-best-policy route anyway. they could have easily avoided the issue with a Three's Company misunderstanding dodge.

* Drew, aren't you forgetting something? all you had to do was shove Winston into the Degrassi Black Hole and he would have disappeared forever. problem solved.

* the promo for next week's fall finale is a red herring. we all know that the two supercouples Drianca and Eclare will eventually get past all of their bumps in the road and be there for the double-wedding series finale...(Simpson and Oh)...

Law & Order SVU "Military Justice" Episode Discussion

learned:

* take a picture in the holding cell? no kid would think that was fun...

* that mother kissed her daughter like she was her third cousin removed whom she hadn't seen since wintering in Paris in '97.

* Barba: Amaro, don't show me that file!
   Amaro: but...
   Barba: do i have to order you in Spanish?!

* Amaro says goodbye to his daughter with the Spock salute...

* Amaro to ex-wife: are you sure you're not setting me up?
   ex-wife/mole: i'm not...i'm not...i'm not...i'm not...i said it four times.
   Amaro: but then who were you having dinner with in that shady scene they showed on tv?

* that thing y'know where you're actually immersed in the episode and not just waiting for the episode to end/spending the hour not paying attention to the episode as much as trying to come up with the five points you're going to type as your review here at his blog the next day...yeah, that was this episode, it was good, and i know why: Shiri Appleby isn't just another pretty face, she's a damn good actress, she even does drunk convincingly well, which isn't as easy as it seems.

The Haunting Hour "Coat Rack Cowboy" Episode Discussion

learned:

* so this is the good Jonas, right?

* dude, the older brother in this episode is Fred!, older Fred without the annoying voice...he's still annoying, just without the voice.

* "sorry for all the spitting, i'm a heavy smoker as you might have guessed..."

* "you want to be filled with lead or biscuits?!...in this saloon, it's the same thing, 'cause the biscuits they serve here are as hard as lead."

* psychology is mightier than the gun.

* this episode was...dull. i know why: no females, no little sister or mom to balance out the scenery. not sayin' just sayin'. we as an audience take things like that for granted, but when there are both sexes present, the dialogue seems to run more smoothly, the whole production is more...alive somehow. i wonder how it'd be with an all-female, no-male episode...

Degrassi "Barely Breathing" Episode Discussion

learned:

* "Dallas, i'm coming in, i'm pulling back the drape...three questions before i unshield my eyes: threesome? orgy? can i join?"

* they were obviously pulling their slaps during the bitch-fight...

* see? i keep telling you: real, inescapable pain produces the best guitar-driven songs.

*  ---"you have to promise, no more alcohol?"
    ---"i swear, no more getting drunk...but i will get drunk...on life..."
    ---"you mean more babes without names?"
    ---"you know it!"
    *brofist*

* ---"you have to turn the other cheek."
   ---"but Mom, a creep grabbed my ass at school today!"
   ---"then you have to turn the other...ass cheek...wait, that can't be right...........there will never be another Jesus, huh, honey?"
   ---"no, Mom, that's the point..."

* okay, the Leo thing: now we all know how this sad tale will end, Alli will give Leo an umpteenth chance, Leo will let her down again, he'll hit her again or worse, and the lesson will be learned the hard way. that's fine, but predictable. how about, writers, how about after all this drama, this time, this very moment in time, for the next few episodes, you have Leo go to therapy and actually really come out of it a recovered and healthy person. he actually, *gasp*, doesn't hit Alli anymore. it's a tale of redemption rather than tragedy. i know, i know, ratings and everything...  

Law & Order SVU "Dissonant Voices" Episode Discussion

learned:

* OMG, it's that dude who won American Idol, the one Simon to this day still can't believe won American Idol. and now he's the one playing Simon. that's some insider casting!

* wait, the mothers all know how to furiously text? isn't the older generation not supposed to be as tech-savvy as the younger one? i mean, if Grandma can skype faster than her granddaughter, the natural order of the world is upset and we're all doomed.

* ---"i saw your name in the paper."
   ---"what does that have to do with anything, my shrink?"
   ---"no, nothing, it's just that i have a famous client. i'm screaming like a teenage girl on the inside right now."
   ---"hey man, isn't this supposed to be the fame-and-the-pursuit-of-fame-are-toxic episode?"
   ---"i know, i'm sorry, i'm being unprofessional...*giddy-on-the-inside face*"

* what those two boys were forced to do was wrong. on the other hand, they did spin a pretty convincing yarn. they are destined to be fine actors one day...

* okay, the acting of Billy Porter, the accused music teacher: i dunno, i guess i'm not in the Broadway loop, but i was thoroughly confused by this performance. i mean, it was either ultimately brilliant or terrible. a lot of his mannerisms and the way he talked seemed disjointed with the grim reality of the scenes, like he couldn't quite shake off his Broadway mode of being over-the-top and big and showy all the time. at the same time, the fact that he was rusty and uncomfortable and not polished does line up with a lowly music teacher who wouldn't be media-savvy and really just wants to go hide and not talk to anyone again. this is why acting is so frustratingly awesome both to critique and to do, it's those nuances which keep you guessing and coming back for more.

Saturday Night Live Kerry Washington / Eminem Episode Discussion

learned:

* cold open: way to go, Show! that's how you do it! you attack the no-black-woman thing head on instead of skirting it or ignoring it. humor soothes all wounds and racial divides. i like that, that's a good life lesson generally.

* Nasim watch: yes, love, love, more Nasim, always more Nasim...and yes, i am a fan of all the pelvic thrusts...and the kiss...

* Eminem: were you like me? did you think from that opening shot that Rick Rubin was really Eminem dressed up as Rick Rubin as a late Halloween prank?

* the Shaq impression was a nostalgia arrow for me back to the good ol' days...of Mad TV.

* the ice cream skit at the end there belonged on adult swim, not SNL. i say that lovingly. in my life, i will always prefer thinking surreally than laughing.

* Kerry Washington is a fantastic actress! she's quite disarming and unassuming when you watch her being her real-life self, but when it's time to act, boom!: masterclass. she goes from character type to way-different character type with ease. i knew of her of course, but this was the first time i was actually seeing her perform. she's gained a new fan. and it doesn't hurt that she's hot, has great legs and a nice big...well, yeah...i'm going to go watch Scandal now...okay, that's a lie, but the rest of it was true.

The Haunting Hour "Lovecraft's Woods" Episode Discussion

learned:

* Lovecraft, i'm feeling all horror already.

* Jessica McLeod is cool! she answered me one time on youtube :)

* the light worked inside the shack because the owner, a notorious environmentalist, picked out from the store like the greatest energy-saving light bulb of all time...

* ---"are you okay? you look pale."
   ---"no, i'm okay. it's just my pale goth makeup."

* okay, here's my goth spiel: i'm afraid this episode and the recent South Park Goth Kids episode came too late to match the reality of 2013. there are no more goths anymore, no more emos. i've learned through facebook that everyone is just a nerd now. that being said: i am goth forever, i'm going down with the gloom 'n' doom ship, i can't envision a future me not liking Nine Inch Nails...

* this is obviously impossible to prove, but i did realize the monster with the long black hair was the future self of the goth girl with the long black hair before the show revealed it. now this may not seem like much to my brilliant readers out in the audience here, but you must understand, i'm slow on the uptake. for example, it took me twenty years to realize the name Beatles had the word Beat in it, i really was only ever focused on the cricket nature of the band name.

* this is without a doubt the best episode of the season and one of the best episodes of the entire series. y'know, whenever you talk about time, it's golden, it always works, it never gets old. time loops, time travel, this stuff is endlessly fascinating because there are no easy explanations as to how time travel would exactly work in real life. plus, if you take things far enough, you start getting into immortality and how that butts up against religion and the afterlife. wouldn't actual time travel in fact negate Heaven once and for all? anything that reminds me of Fry from Futurama being his own grandfather gets a gold star in my book.